The Hopefuls

In this post, i am not about to have tact. It's not for the weak, and definitely not for the patriotic.

The women i encountered...

I had to endure two weeks in this place. To have an intelligent conversation is wishful thinking. The place is swarming with matchmaking made in some places. There were three cases that were not: Mine, a 30-something woman who is doing a matchmaking business, and another one who used to work with her now-husband (aka office romance). The others in this place, disliked me heartily. They thought i was showing off by asking questions.

Like i cared.

First day: the first thing that i have noticed is that these women cannot speak English. Some of them can understand Korean better than English, and it was painful to listen to them. I have encountered my share of bad speakers, but this particular group takes the cake. I mean, COME ON! They're all aspiring teachers and they cannot even make a structured sentence! The older woman who used to clean my dorm room five years ago speaks better English than most of these women. My father-in-law, who has no idea when it comes to English speaks BETTER than most of these aspiring teachers.

Never mind the accent. That we can work with.

Much like a high school classroom, you would be able to identify who's who and what's what. The class clown, the eager, the quiet, the diligent, the ones who are there because of the ride, the weirdo (me), and the show offs. There was a woman there who wanted to show off. She was sitting in front and she wanted to make an impression that she is (was) a teacher, she taught high school (i did too), and that she knows what she needs to do.

Till i spoke (bwahahahaha!!). That put her into her place. One thing about reijene is that you can't strut your stuff if it ain't better than hers. Teaching had always been my passion. It's not just something i do for a living. It's something i do with my whole soul poured into. It's not to brandish to the whole world that i am smart. It's not something to boast about. It requires humility, to a T.

Keeping in mind that these were all on the first day. I was planning to shut up and listen (and i failed miserably), but because of that show off parading what she used to be (before marrying her old korean husband) to the whole class, and bringing up archaic and phased out teaching styles, i couldn't resist it.

Anyway...

I was observing these women. I went full blast friendly without them noticing what i was trying to hide (my annoyance about their tastes, for one). They thought i was just a clown. Course some of them would still be called pretentious, but i was able to make the class laugh at my antics.

reijene says... I have a knack of knowing a person just by looking. I don't need to ask questions. My speculations are usually accurate. These girls (I'm not to call them women) are not ambitious enough for anything, but to get married, have kids and get it over with. They're married because... maybe one of these things would be their reason, but I'd go for the most obvious: they want a greener pasture without any effort but their own vaginas. They're there because they need to earn money, they don't have any working experience, and their idiot Korean husbands who cannot speak English had given up on Korean women. But 45% of these women are promising.. very promising indeed. An intensive personality training and they'd be more powerful than i am.

And no, they cannot speak English properly. Some could, but most of them can't. My 6:00 student can speak better than 85% of the class! Not to mention wrong pronunciation of simple words (i.e pear, sheep vs ship or bitch vs beach). Wrong usage of words, wrong sentence formation, wrong grammar terminologies, wrong.. wrong.. WRONG!! Needless to say, i am eating my words: I want us to have jobs, i want the migrant women to have jobs. I want us to compete with the NS society when it comes to teaching. Now i just can't wish for it. Because i really am for quality, not quantity.

How can they compete if they can't even be up to that level? How can they teach without a good command of English? How CAN they teach with their sucky pronunciation and their crappy disposition? WHAT CAN WE SHOW THE ENTIRE NATION other than we can understand English better than Koreans, and yet we cannot even express it?

To be a teacher you have to look and DRESS the part.We can't be teachers with stereotype stamped on our foreheads and dressed like some wrinkled sluts after a night job, or a house maid for that matter.

After hearing (rather reading) the news that SMOE and GEPIK dropped 100 (or more?) NS who were supposed to do a lower level English, and the news that migrant women are about to be placed in schools, or charity cases, or house to house halfway through the course, i felt awful. Awful as i was a jobhunter not too long ago, and i know how it feels to be dropped like a hot potato to make way for someone you think cannot be better than you.

And with those thoughts, my sincerest apologies to the NS society. As much as i hate to admit it, most of these women cannot teach. They cannot do the part. They lack everything necessary to be effective in teaching.

**i just wish this photo was taken in a 180 degree angle, it'd have looked much better! i look like i have cankles, and had added an extra 5 kg to my 47 kg disposition!!!**

Crash Course ENGLISH TEACHER Training Program for migrant wives in Gwangju just ended.

For the first time in my life here in Korea, i have decided to swallow my pride, remove the stick up my ass, and put up with one of the programs the government offers to migrant women. Exactly two weeks ago, down here in Gwangju, a similar program happened.

*edited* she asked for her picture to be removed. this blog had stirred **** itself.

Knowing myself, i have become rather judgmental, but i do it with a fair amount of knowledge, and this time, i can honestly say: KOREA'S GONE MAD.

To start off, this program was in the news a couple weeks ago and i remembered being skeptical with the idea. One: there weren't any details. When the news came out, it only stated that it's for the "benefit and the well being of migrant women in the Korean society" crap. I thought they'd be doing some kind of secretarial, or office management, or clerical crash courses. And it stated: To those who had never had a professional job experience. Okay.. i guess that will not qualify me for a spot. And even if i do, i won't. Seriously, whoever said that working in an environment with 95% of the staff cannot understand a word you're saying is NOT stressful, or is LESS stressful than being a stay-at-home momma, i guess it'd be a matter of opinions, but moi? not unless you're job includes bringing folders to every table, or typing something put on top of your desk and you're basically nonexistent... then why not.

APPARENTLY, the "training course" turned out to be an "English teaching training program" that would be covering the basics of teaching up till HIGH SCHOOL. After experiencing massive rejections from the Korean hagwons, and public schools, even though i already have a job, i have decided to go. Just in case it doesn't work out with Global. Anyway, it stated that it's free. Not to mention, it was going to give us (if we're good enough), a 5-hour job everyday that'd pay 600,000 Won (10 spots); and a recommendation from the establishment itself if we don't get hired after the program. If we were recommended by the institute, it's about 75% sure hire. The remaining 25% would be our effort. If all else fails, one of the instructors would recommend those who won't be able to fish even one.

Moving along...

As all "schooling" goes, there's a deal-breaker: cannot be absent, cannot be late. Be late 3 times, it's equivalent to one absence; be absent three times, and you're not bound to get a cert. Knowing us? Being LATE is a part of our culture, (unbelievably embarrassing). And sure enough, 45% of the class were always late, and it was unnoticed. I did because after work (8 AM), husband and i would drive there, look for a place to have breakfast, and at 9:15, I'd be waiting. The program starts at 10. They gave us coffee and tea with some crackers or fruit at the back of the room, which, would be gone as soon as the women arrived. There were 23 participants including me.

I was kinda looking forward to this program. Why? Being a teacher (sometimes), it's good to be a listener once in a while. It's amazing to be just a part of a class, and not be the speaker. Oh, who am i kidding. Two hours after the program started i was immediately labeled as a show off. I have too many questions, too many answers, too many too much, and the women training us was flustered by what i ask or how i answered. The Korean woman training us was from Korea After School Program (i applied there), which, you can just imagine my excitement. I thought it'd be something innovative, or diverse, different from what i do, or something with a fresher uptake.

I couldn't be more disappointed.

But there were more instructors. One from Gwangju Women's University, another from a kindergarten (i was not listening) but she was amazing with story-telling and crafts, from Chonnam University who had the most helpful topic (two hours, sigh), and more. I really wasn't paying attention much as they're all speaking in Korean, and are trying to help, but they were giving me something that i have already known for a while. Including classroom management. I was excited with lesson planning, as Koreans have a different uptake to it. And they do: it's more tedious than the normal lesson planning.

But basically, that's just it. To me, it had very little input, but i am looking forward to the recommendation that this 50-hour program did. Why?

Just because. (^.^)

At the very last day of this program we did demo classes. As there were 23 participants, and 5 hours of class time, not to mention two instructors who wanted two separate demo classes, we were crunched with time. I prepared four very different, and still related topics. However, as agreed, with the Filipina teacher, we were to do a 10-minute each. With the Korean teacher, we were to do 20-25 minutes, and since time was really not enough, we were grouped, and a demo class with group effort would be done. I was not supposed to do the demo for the Korean instructress, but she pulled me aside and asked...

did you prepare for a demo class?
"yes.." (and started to have yet another sneaking suspicion..)
"i know you would. they're all here to watch you."

HYPERVENTILATING.. HYPERVENTILATING!!! moi? again? i thought i explained to her that i should be giving this chance to someone else? Time and again, when there's supposed to be something that was asked of us to do, like a dummy-demo of how to, the migrant women would clamour for me, and i would (rather sharply) respond that i am not to do it, because they should try it. But sometimes, just for the sake of their improvement, i did. And usually, my style was picked up.

That woman had been vocal from day one that i was the brightest (?) among the group. She called me once or twice to help her with the class, and to explain a bit further what she was trying to say, not to mention bring up the crucial points that she sometimes missed. She gives me intriguing compliments, or insults. SO i had no choice. I had to do the demo class instead of the other member.

"Charismatic" was what i heard (me smiling ear to ear) from the observers.
"Excellent performance" from the instructress.
... and dagger looks from the other groups. LMAO. so sue me.

So there... it's all done. I know i gave it my thousand percent, with my kids as the collateral damage. They have forgotten about me. Two weeks. The first week was barely anything, as i was only trying to catch up with the missed lessons (students absent most of the time), but second week? Monthly level test was coming, and the infos that i needed was given to me on a sturday, with a deadline on tuesday morning, with three abilities to be tested: written, spoken, and grammar. Level test was Wedensday, test results should be given by thursday, and evaluation by friday. On top of preparing for my four demo classes. I barely had time to sleep or eat, let alone watch my kids.

So after all everything? All the activities and things i have prepeared is now at the hands of my four year old, and he loves everything i made. And this weekend is dedicated for my two kids, and two kids alone.

But this doesn't end here. A part two, is on a brewing session, and it'd deal with the aspiring teachers.

It really doesn't make much sense, but...

i'm thinking my prejudice had started to subside,

i changed her oil, she changed my life!

After surviving what i believe to be the worst test i could have ever done to myself, i move forward to what I'm hoping to be a brighter future. what i did was something i would bury together with the stick up my ass, and know that from the center of this little place i call home, i have someone who will make sure that my feet would be on the ground.

That said....

We proceed to the second installment of my highly uncaring thoughts.

Arranged marriage. Who and WHY would anybody even try and subject themselves to it?

As defined online, an arranged marriage is a kind of marriage arranged by someone else other than the couple getting married (which, in my opinion, is no better than matchmaking made in wherever). In the olden days, it usually is done by parents to pair their heirs (too rhyme-y?) to ensure their family wealth (somewhere in Europe), to uphold the family honor (China), according to social standing (India), to have babies (Africa), unification of two powerful families (Islam), it could go on and on here, but we should stop it there.

The question that i want to dig is this: why would anybody even dream of it? I get that when Princess Fiona wanted to marry Prince Charming is because she thought she didn't have a choice... along came Shrek. But the point of arranged marriage is usually beyond the two people getting married. They're just puppets to do a task for a brighter (?) future.

My mother, she was almost a part of this arranged marriage. Maybe one of the reasons why she married Dad is because she also didn't want to be subjected to it. I remember the stories, how the man she was supposed to marry came from a very rich Islam family, how her dowry was paid in advance, and three times the amount that was agreed upon, why she was chosen (she has two sisters), and how she escaped...

She did escape, she eloped with my Dad. How romantic... (excuse me while i throw up)

Moving along.... Just like what i did with matchmaking, i went in search of some mail order brides. I went poking, clicking, searching, the works that you do to have a good research....
They're beautiful. No other word for it. Sure there's a possibility that they're all photoshopped, or the infos are tweaked so that they'd be this perfect slim girls with long hair and gorgeous eyes. I don't get WHY.

Gold diggers? No wonder we cannot get past stereotyping.

Love? (excuse me while i throw up again) anybody that beautiful (agency) is sure to have any man drooling.

Dating failures? Who doesn't?

Security reasons? ... again, no wonder the stereotyping wouldn't stop.

Sex? err... wha...?!

whatever gave these girls/women the idea that getting married to a foreigner is an easy task, they should have tried being married first to their own kind.

marriage as i keep on mentioning, is not something to take on lightly. to be a mail-order bride, it's like being a housemaid; paid. And used for sex. If you know someone that after being arranged to marry to a complete stranger, and found it easy, let me know. I'll conduct an interview myself.

meanwhile, excuse me while i brew a fresher idea for my next surge of words.

Now that's just plain WEIRD!

Am i to call these situations inconsistencies, coincidence, planned, or karma is too much of a bitch.

I read my favorite bloggers to jump start my idle brain. They usually have a fresher take of ideas than the normal editorials on the papers. Brian in Jeolla-Namdo posted this entry, stating and i quote:

SMOE cuts tons of Native Speaker English Teacher jobs before start of the
Semester.

I'm not telling you my initial reaction, seeing as i'm trying to change.

Couple weeks ago, news came out that they'd be training foreign wives to be able to work. There were no details on what kind of job. Last week, i received a newsletter, an invitation to have this "crash course" to teach English in Kindergartens, or kids up to high school level.

What's this? What is all this? If you had read my blog before, you're aware about my struggles when it came to jobhunting. 5000 jobs all over the country, and we're not allowed to fish even one, because the main reason: PHILIPPINES. They're not hiring anybody not coming from these "Native Speaking" countries.

Let's add two and three, shall we?

When the job market opened, i was one of the people who diligently searched for jobs. I searched all day, and all night. I searched online, and i did a couple of phone interviews. If i don't mention my motherland, i almost get an interview. If not, i get the "i'm sorry, we have to prioritize... blah blah blah" crap. I saw how the advertisement changed. Same benefits (house, airfare, allowance, insurance, severance pay) on top of their 1.8 million to 3 million Won salaries. It changed drastically everytime. I even remember cursing because i saw the same advertisement on three different sites... and the salary range went from 1.8 (2.2)-2.5-3 million. Eeeew.

And now they're dropping successful applicants? WHY? I don't think they planned it that way. SMOE and EPIK are working with the government, right? And right now, i'm smelling something.

The migrant wives are doing a crash course, i myself included in the program. I'm attending it because i want the certificate that they'd give right after. After being subjected to this "i can't hire you regardless" crap, i am opting to use an alternative: something offered by the government. It might make it easier to have more teaching loads. The people being trained are Filipino Women. No other nationalities. Maybe in some other parts of the country might, but Gwangju certainly has just Philippines. It's done everyday from 10 AM to 4 PM, for two weeks since monday. The crash course.. is really REALLY for anybody without teaching experiences.


reijene hypothesis: i'm not trying to insinuate anything, rather a speculation. The Korean economy, recovering as it may be, is still trying to cut costs, and hiring foreigners from another country will not help. Notice that the teachers who were dropped were on a lower position? I"m guessing, they were not dropped because of over-booking. I think they were dropped to make way for the government project of helping migrant women in korea. Of course, not to add salt to the injury, they had to say they had some "overbooking" issues. But this crash course? The training is really for kids. From kindergarten up to high school.

i screwed up!

just so the title says it so... =)

I'm currently doing this "training program" that was released on the news a couple weeks ago. I said i wouldn't be doing it as i was highly skeptical around the idea. What kind of job would it be? Office? Sales? And the answer (d'oh) came out pretty simpler: They're looking for English teachers again.

After months of jobhunting, rejection letters, apologies from recruitment agencies, phone interviews passed with screeching halts when i mention my motherland: They are now TRAINING migrant wives to teach English to kids; charity cases, man to man session, kindergarten, middle schools and high schoolers as our main market. We have decided after receiving the newsletter that i should go and do it. I mean, they're going to give a certificate after 10 days (now running 7) so we'd be able to teach.

SO comes with this opportunity, the idea of meeting other wives is a pickle. I mean, i still have that stick up my ass, and i was about to enter an even bigger circle wherein my prejudice can and would probably spin out of control.

It also will give me access and an even bigger idea about the people, the reasons, the what-nots, of this inter-racial marriage, not to mention, be able to help those in need.


The ones who were about to take this "training program" are Filipino women. what a surprise. No other country people. I could only assume that it is because most of the other Asian wives cannot really speak english. Sure i have met a Vietnamese woman, and she can barely speak English, but she has a good understanding ability even if she could barely create a perfect sentence... But she's working. Teaching English too. Oh, great! Mediocre to the point of bad and she has a job? Even my husband scorned at the idea!


just wait...

If HE has a POLE, and SHE has a HOLE, they could get married, right?

Is there a proper answer to that question?

One common reason people get married is because of moral value: Legal sex. We were all raised to understand that pre-marital sex is not allowed, and that it's dishonorable to engage in such. We were made to believe in the value of virginity. Of course, boys have something different, but with girls, we were told to wait. That sex is not done in haste.

Three rules:
1. Play hard to get.
2. Don't give the guy money, nor pay for his expenses.
3. Don't sleep with until the time is right.

These are the unwritten rules girls are made to believe, but i don't think everybody knew these. As for me? I only followed rule number 2. I had a rule of test driving, because an adult relationship is never without sex. I have heard of "girls waiting" for that magical night, until, a persuasive boy comes along, or her friends teasing her about it.... There goes her chastity! Precious few actually was able to resist that pressure.

This pre-marital sex thing is still a huge issue. But i know it's irrelevant to what i want to talk about. I'm going to dig inside this "matchmaking" marriages.

We start with matchmaking. I have encountered dating sites, and i believe it's for people who want to "date" and have partners to go to movies, do a fuck fest, emotional support, the usual blah of dating. Not that I'm against it. I believe in honest to goodness SEE ME and decide. You like me, i like you, we go test drive. Then pick it up from there.

I'm not from a matchmaking made in the Philippines. My husband was really my student. His schedule with me was 3-5 PM on his first 2 months, and 1-3 PM on his last two months. He requested for me.

I didn't marry him because i wanted to. I love him, all my soul, but it was the right thing to do. I was pregnant and I do not want my son to be labled. We agreed to get married. He did not propose, and it was me who chose and bought our engagement ring (now missing). I worked my way around the idea, and i only wanted a signed paper. He did everything i asked him to do. And there's one thing on this agreement: we're growing old together.


After my parents disowned me (now running four years solid), we went to Korea where husband's parents threw him a wedding. I had to agree. He's first born of the first born patriarch. WE agreed to get married, it's mutual, so i had to respect his culture. That is our wedding ring: platinum encrusted diamond in a white gold band (i'm allergic to yellow gold). I only wore that a couple times. =)

To be fair, i went and checked out a matchmaking agency. I went looking around at women, Filipino women in particular (I'm bi, i can differentiate pretty and not). I looked at their profiles, and i have to admit i am nauseated. I chose a category nearer to me: Same age group/generation, same height and weight, different religious backgrounds. What does it take to be in a matchmaking agency? I saw their pictures are taken in a similar fashion... sexy clothing but not too revealing, photo make-up, hair to look natural but obviously styled. In short, it was a photo shoot to make maximum impact to any guy who would look...

They're not that bad-looking. Some are even cuter than normal, and some are just plain GORgeous. But what, and i mean WHAT kind of urge do these women have to sign up for such things?

Financial security? I get that even as an undergrad i had a career and i had job offers; and not all girls/women have that. Call me lucky.

True love? How can you say that it's love when you haven't even seen the guy? That the guy is courting through an online site? The complications of love is another matter, but it's not really rocket science: IT'S NOT LOVE IF YOU HAVE NOT SEEN THE OTHER'S FLAWS. Will you still love the guy even if he had started verbally abusing you? Had started hitting? Had shared you with his friends? Had belittled your personality and insulted your intelligence EVEN if he holds your hand? Even if he looks presentable, an abuser knows how to hide.
Men who have secrets? They won't tell you that they have a problem till you're in there and it's too late.

You want to get married? So there goes the true love issue again. Or is it just because of the word marriage?

Job opportunities? You don't have to get married to any country national to get a job. Us Filipinos are known for those things. We work abroad, regardless of what job. Sure it's like passing through a needle hole, but what job interview doesn't?

To send money home and help your family get a better life? Seriously? I know that not everybody had good financial status (i'm cheap, ignore me) and that they want to help their parents have a better life. But at the risk of your vagina? (too vulgar?) I'm getting worked up here.

To have sex? I don't think so. Is there anybody from a matchmaking made somewhere in it for sex?

Change of citizenship? THAT?? No, no, no, no, no. Philippines, bad as the country can get, the economy in trash, you're still a part of it. Nothing, but the name of your country will change, but physically, mentally, almost everything, except country... YOU'RE A FILIPINO.

Ang hindi magmahal sa sariling wika ay mas malansa pa sa mabahong isda.

Translated: He who does not love his own language has a much worse stench than a rotting fish. Familiar?

IN matters of love: WOMEN do not fall in love at first sight. MEN do.
And men could get pretty creative and pursuasive. What women hold is the power to resist.

reijene blues: I really am part of a minority: powerful women. I have a pet project, working my way around it, and this is my hidden agenda: EMPOWER girls that they are better than they think.

next in line: arranged marriage.

Marriage: Business or Pleasure?

As a kid i have been fascinated with love stories. How two souls are able to find each other even of they were from different parts of the world, or society. I used to read pocket books, Filipino version. My mother was strictly against it, so i hid every time i find something that has a good teaser. And usually, they all lived happily ever after getting married.

What is marriage anyway?

It is a union of two people.

There lies the complication around it. The word union itself is the culprit of the word.

According to the bible, marriage is sacred.

1. For appetizers: Marriage is for the comfort, pleasure, and happiness of the Creator's people. A man who finds a wife finds a good thing. She is good for him because she was created that way.

2. For your second course: Marriage is for the comfort, training, and security of children.

3. Entree: Marriage is to fulfill the sexual desires of men and women. It is honored around the world in every civilized society as an undefiled institution (oooh, yummy).

4. To clean our palettes for dessert: Marriage is to perpetuate the human race. The idea of surrogate mothers would destroy the home if carried to its logical implications.

5. And for dessert: God designed woman for man. This also means he is designed for her. Together they fit the needs of each other. Other considerations regarding marriage matches involve personalities and personal traits.

Are we full yet? I'm still hungry.. so i want to dig a bit further.

For the dessert part, it involves dating. How two people are trying to "wear" each other and find out if they fit. I used to be a sucker for love stories, i might as well use that part of me.

Ah, love. The amost common reason why there aare married people. From whirlwind romances, to steady for years, the typical two-year steady period before popping the question... Opposites attract, birds of the same feather, astrology-related, blah blah blah.

To the point: Why do people get married?

Simplest answer: Security reasons. Everybody wants to wake up when they're old and they'd have a companion. For women it's a matter of emotional strings. The "i cannot live without you" drama. I don't know why men choose to get married. Do they want kids? Do they want security the way women do. If you know a guy who can talk about this freely buzz buzz.

Now the juicy part: How can anybody decide to get married?

OOOOOPS. The topic is too big. My pea-sized brain can only handle so much when inspiration's not really kicking in. But i know what points i'd like to cover.

1. Actual (bf/gf) proposal

2. Arranged Marriage

3. Matchmaking

4. Contractual Business

5. Mutual decision

6. Society Pressure vs Parental Pressure vs Career Pressure

Each one has its distinctive differences. If you know where you're labeled you know what to do. Meanwhile i'll be waiting for another stroke of inspiration to do PART 2.

Progressing Prejudice

I think i just made the wrong title. ^^

Anyway, work-related and prejudice-related.

In this place, i am a bit unkind to Caucasians (understatement of the century), and prejudiced with Native Speakers as a whole.

I am, however, working my way around it as i have mentioned it before: It's not something i want to live by. I hate the fact that i, not just roll my eyes at the sight of an NS or a Caucasian, i actually flinch, and hear the whizzing of my pea-sized brain.

Be as it may, i have started working and there was an NS among the staff, a caucasian man, nevertheless.

Progress 1: I didn't roll my eyes.
Progress 2: I didn't flinch.
Progress 3: We even had a small talk. ^^

Juvenile? Yes, but to me this is progress. I still have this boundary issue, physically, and socially. The mere fact that i was able to stay in a room with an NS is an ordeal. To talk without being hostile? That's another.

I think i know what i want for my birthday: NS's as guests. See where my prejudice lies, and if i would be able to fight it.

Are Korean Men REALLY Capable of Marrying a Foreign Spouse?

Well, being in an inter-racial marriage i just put a very controversial question.

Can Korean men actually be married to a spouse that barely spoke his language, has a different culture, and different upbringing?

As i have blogged yesterday, this question popped in my head while watching some kind of documentary about two handicapped kids(?) on a date. I see that the boy is so sweet, and the girl is so meek. A Korean-Korean union seems the most sensible thing to do.

Here where i live, there are two marriages in the house: mine and my in-laws. It couldn't be any more different than North and South Korea!

I'm referring to my opinions, about the 20-hour program for Korean Men before they marry a foreigner. Okay, so i get the idea that they want to prevent more divorces, more domestic violence, more unhappy foreigners and more clueless girls who wouldn't know what to do if their husbands suddenly flipped out and decided they had enough. But what about those who are already here? Are they going to call those husbands to have the same 20-hour course?

Okay... so why am i just bugging Korean men? There are two sides of the story here!!

Hello Korean women! You're not safe.

Statistics showed that there are more women than men. I think the last proportion was 3 women to one man. But that's beside the point. The Korean men who marry foreigners are mostly the ones Korean women wouldn't even give a second look. (lucky me, my husband's cute) Either they're not good looking enough, not rich enough, not.. JUST not enough (size?). I have two classes in the morning, 13 students, and i have SIX bachelors. Two bachelorettes, an older gentleman, three economically active family men, and a girl with a boyfriend. By no means are these bachelors hideous. In fact, they're positively cute. But none of them has a girlfriend. (An adult class enjoys these things.) Ask them why. They'd tell me, too busy, or tried, but was unsuccessful.

Moving along... why won't Korean women entertain Korean men? The same complaints? That they are statues, stone cold, patriarchal, insensitive whatever blah? Or they're not rich enough, their family's not prestigious enough, that "he" is a first born son, et cetera, et cetera?

Sure there are Korean Nuptials, but have you seen the divorce rate? I secretly liked watching this TV program "Scandal" , the Korean version of "Cheaters" in US. Married women cheat their husbands. Husband cheating their wives seems like the most sensible problem, but if it's the woman who cheats... there's something wrong. Women are not genetically designed to cheat. Well, most women at least.

I have female friends, and they're not this complicated. Trust me when i say these women had more issues, a longer stick up their asses, and an even bigger bitch-modified genetics. Korean women seems... indecipherable. Am i sounding too judgmental again? Ignore me. i'm still worked up with yesterday's topic.

For self starters only

Deja vu.


Since monday i have been having this. I wake up with the happy butterflies on my stomach, excited with each day of work. My husband had been smoking in front of me, and i have been craving smokes. =P


Five and a half years ago, when i started working, my breakfast had always been: strong coffee and mentholated smokes. After the usual routine (bath, wardrobe, make-up), breakfast and gum comes next. Those days i was majorly hooked with something mentholated. Everyday, for five days. The smell of cigarette smoke wakes every bit of sense in me.


So yes, those days i was a chain smoker. 30 sticks a day, average. On drinking days, it'd go up to three packs. Weekends, since i have to go home to my father's house, smokes had to stop. Although Daddy knew and wouldn't mind for as long as i'm not too hooked, my mother would have gone ballistic if i reaked.

anyway...

reijene's having one of those days... those "feel good" days.

When the week's work is all worth it.

Five years ago, on a day like this? I would hit a dance club with some friends, or go watch some unknown and amazing acoustic band, making my friday evenings exciting, busy and unpredictable.

Course, sometimes i prefer a new toy instead of spending the night with my friends.

And now that i am called married, i guess blogging is one of the options i have left. ^^

Oh, Great! Every blogger has this entry!

You've seen the papers yesterday and today? Something related to what and where we're labeled with.

Yesterday's news: Population of foreigners more than a million.

** Assessment: so now the numbers matter? And they plan to do what?

More news from yesterday: A training program for foreign wives who had never worked in a professional career. The training consists of office management, the sorts.

** Assesment: The country's praparing for the inevitable: more foreign workers. As the number of foreign wives increase, so does the pressure of keeping them well in the society. If giving them a career will, then they would.

reijene blues: although.. i highly doubt that. if you put me in an office to work as a secretary, an office assist, or as a receptionist, where everybody speaks korean and the office etiquettes are different from what we're used to, i'd be more stressed. As i have worked for a korean before, i am aware of the things they're expecting... how about this training course for the women who don't have a day's worth of professional experience? is it going to instruct them how to deal with a korean boss? how a korean boss only expects and not say anything, and that if you screw up, there wouldn't be a fair warning you just get terminated? i wouldn't know. i'm not planning to attend it... although it sounds interesting, the proposal just insulted the intelligence of the foreign wives.

Today's News: The Korean Government is offering 1 million won to a korean spouse who wants to marry a foreigner after completeing a 20-hour course (and it does sound weird). The course is to prepare the 'korean". The purpose of that money? To help pay for their nuptial ceremony. Oh, great!

A pointed this one out... PREPARE FOR WHAT? They're bringing in a foreign body (spouse)here. the foreign body will need more assisstance, duh? if you will tell me that there are already some societies for that, i say: sure. societies done in what language?

reijene blues: Korean men are not as complicated as you think. They're just like any other men. When they want sex, then go have sex with them. If you don't want to have sex, i dont know what to say because i like sex. I haven't had those days... not yet =P... If they need their dinner, give them their dinner. After that, hand them the remote control if you want them off your hands. Or give them the computer (or laptop) if you only have one. If you get lonely, instead of stewing on your bile, go be creative. There are a lot of things that can be done. Unless, of course, you're like me, extremely paranoid with a log up your ass.

As every marriage, the first couple years are the most testing. You do not expect your marriage to be perfect from... maybe after honeymoon. There's an adjustment period, and adjusting in another country, AFTER getting married is one of the most challenging task ever. From culture to food, language and customs, everything will put a strain into your new life. Unless, your husband (or wife) has patience the size of his (or her) country, then rocky road will start rockin.

My marriage? It suffered from the same strain. We're no angels, and neither one of us had patience the size of our motherlands, but we learned how to compromise... bit by bit. The same WORD would be needed, not some 20-hour program to "prepare" these men. That program will not teach them english, or another medium of communication. That program will not give them patience if their wives fail to meet their expectations.

Unless, the 20-hour curriculum will include brainwashing so they'd become better men.

reijene obsession's hitting a snag

From the unknown man i talked on the phone, an obsession starting to rise.

This is my challenge: to help those Filipino women (starting in Gwangju, hopefully) who had some bad, or very bad luck when they came to Korea: from the women thinking of greener pastures, to the girls who were promised a better life. I know i cannot offer much, me still being too stuck up, but i know i can provide some kind of support, a wake up call, kinder than this DRAMA QUEEN styling... I also have an extra room if you need one. =) Just don't ask me for finances, i know i cannot handle that (me being too stingy).

I already have the support of my mother-in-law. I saw her have this small smile. I'm guessing her thoughts would be: FINALLY! Me daring to go out and meet people. She had always tried to encourage me to go out and about, learn how the bus works, try and befriednd some of the inter-racial wives in the area, and i would give her this smile, and say, " NO, " in Korean, and rather defiantly. For almost four years it's always like that. She knew why, and she knows i hate it. But i guess she just respected what i was going through. Today i told her what i'm up to, and she said she's fine with it. We could use the second floor (if i have friends over) if it'd make me feel comfortable.

I already have the support of my forever apathetic turd of a husband (just my adjective, he's a good man). His words: YOU WILL. Knowing him for four years, it only meant one thing... Don't bug me to drive you. =) maybe i should learn how to drive... so that i could just steal his car and USE it. =P

However, the recent comments of Jehan and Jempres snapped me out of this naive and childish project! Add the obvious and typical objections of Arvin, equals me suddenly having second thoughts. This pet project i am hoping to start with will not be easy. Helping those who are already here and in need is one thing. Prevention of victims would be another thing. It's not going to be small!!

I am thinking, and probably will keep on thinking because i need a place to start! SO yes, now i am going to admit, i need help.

THIS JUST IN:

i have a job... ^^

well, supposed to be part-time morning classes, with the WORST possible time: 6:00 am.

only for two hours, because as the director had said, it's a "probation" period. For an entire month i am subjected to this "if the students like you" deal. if they do, i'd be given more loads in the evenings.

i know why. 4 and a half years ago i did it, too.

barely ten minutes ago, i received a phone call from the school....

I HAVE THE EVENING CLASSES NEXT MONTH!! i can't take it this month because it will disrupt the lesson plans made, so i get to have more loads next month. ^^ imagine me jumping up and down like a lil (nothing little with me) maniac. I'm glad.

and another thing: the students liked me. feedback came in today... i thought they were staring at my ass, but hey! i guess it's worth it!! =P

another reijene obsession

weird weird day.

for the first time in four years i have spoken to another Filipino in the Philippines. I did not place a long distance call, i'm too stingy for that. They called me.

Here on DRAMA QUEEN, i'm a bitch. An inconsistent and evil bitch. Believe it or not, i have been helping (sometimes) some kids in the Philippines when it comes to their blues. I guess you could call me an online adviser, but usually on tough love basis.

One of those kids called today. I guess you can't call her a kid, being 19 and all, but what i call her is irrelevant. She called via their company internet phone. She said she just wanted to pass me to her boss, who wants to learn korean or something. To be a bit polite, i talked to her boss.

I'm guessing he was an older gentleman, and he said he had stayed in Korea for about 11 years before. he asked me how life in korea was like, being married to a korean, living with my in-laws, the Filipino community in gwangju (which on my embarassment) have no input. How could i? i was traumatized the last time i TRIED.

okay... i just have a stick up my ass the size of a pine tree (call it a log!).

He said, comparatively? I am very lucky. Loving (but not showy) husband, supportive and caring in-laws; and smart and sly little shrews (kids). Other Filipino women do not have the same. They only get one, or two, or sometimes none at all. He said he's connected to the Filipino stores nationwide (and i didn't even bother asking who he is), so i thanked him. Maybe if not some Filipino citizens here would have gone crazy. I know i don't need the Filipino store as i can cook and differentiate the flavors to Korean food and Filipino food. I can take advantage of the little things my mother had taught me (bless her). Not to mention... i'm allowed to make what i want. And i'm not too picky when i do. tao lang ang arte ko.

The man i was talking to asked me: why don't you help those filipino women?

I was dumbstruck. Why didn't i? Oh, yes. I was busy hiding because i was offended.

Offended with what? ... err, because they were tactless. Just because i look young doesn't mean i'm one of those "matchmaking" made in the Philippines...

oh, wait. i'm tactless too! More than anybody could have ever imagine. I'm way past tactless. I'm blunt.

When was that? ... (turning scarlet) three years ago.

I must say, stewing on my own bile isn't such a good idea. It's so refreshing to talk to someone who speaks the same language, older, wiser, been to the same possible places maybe more. I missed that. I miss being surrounded by people i could learn from, people who could teach me. There aren't many of them, but that's the beauty of it. I actually listen.

He gave a thought: why wouldn't i? i'm one of those who didn't come from a matchmaking agency. representing something that can change the stereotype of Filipinos in this country.

Oh, wait... (am i excusing myself?) no i'm not. WHERE DO I START?

Warm and Fuzzy

that's all me today. ^^

My classes started 6 AM, and i was there 5:45, thanks to my wonderful driver. He was home at 4 AM and he decided to stay awake so that he could drive me, and stayed for two hours strolling around just so he's there to support me. Course, driving home he was a bit cranky (sleepless, duh?) and he will need to sleep immediately as he will have to leave for work at 2 PM.

I'm just all warm and fuzzy, that's all. Men don't usually do that. My students this morning were all, "aww, really" when i said my husband's waiting.

He's a conservative man (who took PG 19 pics), does not approve of PDA (i do!), and will not even carry my bag. But when nobody's looking, when it's highly unexpected, he's there.

And to be frank... i'm quite surprised.

My first love VS his doppelganger

i'm not talking about my husband, i'm talking about JT.

There are so many reasons why i liked him so much. Aside from being cute (since nsync) with the boy-next-door appeal then shedding it all off transitioning him to a man; a very VERY (redundant?) gorgeous man.

Talent wise, i love the sound of his voice. He has this high-pitched tone that disappears when he speaks. He sounds different while singing, and when JUST talking. And the man can dance! THAT was highlighted when he made his solo album. When he starts groovin he oozes sex appeal. Whoever was able to resist that, she's a goddess. A man this beautiful and was able to defy?

I watched his career. I watched his personal life. I was one of the million fans who started HATING Britney Spears for "spearing" this guy. I cried when i found out he started dating Cameron Diaz. I was equally shocked when he went out with Alyssa Milano, and definitely DEFINITELY broken hearted when he was sighted with Jessica Biel. Why? Do the math: after Britney Spears he was into older women.

JT's single "Cry me a River" was one of my favorites. I hated "señorita" because of the sleazy girls. If you would want to react... i was A TEENAGER!

Moving along... this post was actually inspired by Kushibo who wrote this post weeks ago. And since i am forever enthralled by this captivating man i absolutely refused to believe anybody can get close to his level... Until this morning.

His name's Rain. Or Bi, or whatever. I have known him and his career because i was working with teachers who just loves him. I go... EEEW. No thank you.

I have seen some of his music videos. I disliked it heartily. I guess i really am biased, but that's the point of my blog: to prove me wrong all the time. Anyway, i had a lot of things to do today. Not really, i was trying to keep my hands full (hence the massive blog entries) so that i wouldn't be hyperventilating all the time. My job starts in about (counting...) less than 10 hours (it's 8 PM, my job starts at 6 AM). One of the rare moments i panic. I never used to but somehow, for a week, my nerves are out of control. Three things that relaxes me: loud music or music videos while cleaning the house, something pg 19, and another pg 19. SO i was cleaning the house and decided to open my eyes and watch their music videos. Advertisement hits, i'd turn on the radio and hope that there's at least ONE English music that played. And there was.

Sexy Back was playing. i wasn't able to download it so when it plays anywhere i am glad. I was cleaning one of the rooms in the house. Anyway, i suddenly heard this sexy beat. It's hard for me to admit a "sexy" beat, not in K-pop at least. But i told myself, i'd open my eyes and ears today, and try to listen. I liked the song. It's Korean and i liked it. There's a certain degree of my liking, and this one hit the middle part. I was starting to get curious, when the DJ mentioned that he intentionally played these two songs back to back. Sexy man JT, and Korea's very own "sexy man" Rain.

And yes i was shocked. My first thought was, OMG i'm eating my words... and a big nasty grin (thank God i was proven wrong again). Maybe Kushibo was right. I ought to watch closely. Today i start looking to bring back the things i used to love: music and dancing.

Just don't expect me to go gaga with JT's Korean doppelganger. i still don't find him cute.

Man Vs Woman Quotes

I found it. Well, not really. I was on my other blog page and i saw it. I just love gender bashing.

From Strange Fruit, The Top Ten Man Vs. Woman Quotes

1. Pixygal - Men pay 2 pesos for a 1-peso item that he needs. Women pay 1 peso for a 2-peso item that she doesnt need. (i resent that! heehee)

2. Francine Prito - “The smarter the woman gets, the more difficult for her to find the right man.” - Oprah Winfrey.

3. Lie - Women have many faults, while men only have 2: Everything they say & everything they do.

4. Aura/Kobe Kong - A woman marries a man hoping he will change, but he never does. A man marries a woman hoping she won’t change, but she always does.

5. Ian024 - Dick van Dyke: “Women will never be as successful as men because they have no wives to advise them. (true, true)

6. Shining - Mark Twain: “Man was made at the end of the week’s work, when God was tired.

7. Shining - Women still remember their first kiss even after men have forgotten their last. (is that a fact?)

8. Ian024 - Edgard Watson Howe - One of the most difficult things in the world is to convince a woman that even a bargain costs money.

9. Lucas/Jesse - MAN: “I don’t know how you can be so stupid and so beautiful at the same time.” WOMAN: “God made me beautiful so you would be attracted to me. God made me stupid so I would be attracted to you!” (nyahahahaha!)

10. Sharon Bato - Men control the world, women control the men.

11. Raindancer - When it comes to sex, women need a reason while men need only a place. (agreed!)

12. Dru - Women are like guitars, you need to pluck the right strings. Men are like a pair of maracas, just shake and jiggle a lot and you’re making music together.

13. Jhong - Men have the superpowers of both Lastikman & Iron Man: humahaba man, matigas pa rin na parang bakal.

14. Febkinse - 70 ways to make a man happy: number 1 is to LOVE him. The rest is 69.

15. Yñaki - The only price for having more than one wife is. . .having more than one Monster-in-law!

16. Mr. Perk - Girls are grown up once they start wearing bras. Boys are grown up once they start removing bras.

17. Mama Rosa - Men are like toilets: either they’re taken, out of order, or full of sh*t.

18. Bing - Women, regardless of time, when it’s the right guy, would want to get married. Men, on the other hand, regardless of who the girl is, when it’s the right time, would want to get married.

19. Racer - An English professor wrote “A woman w/o her man is nothing” He asked his students to punctuate it correctly. All males in the class wrote: “A woman, without her man, is nothing.” All females in the class wrote: “A woman: without her, man is nothing.” this one's my favorite.

20. Dojo - Men use love to get sex, while women use sex to get love.

21. Amanite The greatest revenge to a man who steals your woman is to let him have her…because a truly good woman can never be stolen.

22. Arxangel - In shopping: Man would buy a useful thing for P1000. Woman would buy a useless thing for P500.

23. No name - Lucky is the man who wins the 1st love of a woman. Luckier is the woman who wins the last love of a man. (aww...)

24. Febkinse - My boss: “Ako ang batas, si misis ang diyos.” (translated: i am the law. my wife is God)

25. No name - Wise men never get married because once they do, they become otherwise.

26. Mey - Men are like government bonds. They take sooo long to mature.

27. Ian024 - Madonna in the movie “Dangerous Game”: “Why did God create men? Because vibrators can’t mow the lawn."

From Strange Fruit: The top 10 signs that someone is OR is no longer a virgin

I SAY... pag hindi ka natawa, ewan ko lng. being a virgin is always an issue with girls, specially if she has a boyfriend. the issue is always this: if they'd want to start having sex, or refrain from it. Even i was subjected to this pressure. When i lost my virginity, i never thought of it as a big deal, although coming clean about it came a little too difficult. One of the guys i was with told me, an adult relationship is never without sex. Sure. Guys like sex. If you meet a guy (not a gay guy) who didn't, tell me. Anyway, have fun! (fair warning: it contains our mother language)

There’s an age when it’s a shame to not be a virgin, but you also reach an age when it’s unthinkable if you still are. For me, too much ado about virginity. It’s nice if you treasure it and it goes to your first and one tru love, but otherwise, too much of an issue about a tissue.

December 5, 2008 → The Top Ten Signs That Someone Is Or Is No Longer A Virgin

1. Ehd/C.VanillaBen – Pag virgin, AMOY MELON. Pag di na virgin, MELON AMOY.
2. Maomao – Ang virgin, pag tinanong mo kung virgin, mao-offend. Ang non-virgin, pag tinanong mo kung virgin pa, ang sagot, “Siyempre oo noh! Virgin na virgin pa noh!”
3. Jeckerkll/Curt Smith – Ang tunog ng wiwi ng virgin, “Psssss…” Ang tunog ng wiwi ng non-virgin, “Wooosh!”
4. Maomao – Ang virgin, pag kinalabit mo, “Ano ba, wag diyan!” Ang non-virgin, “Tara, game?”
5. His Cuteness – Ang virgin pag umuwi after mag-burger with her bf, malinis ang lips. Ang non-virgin, may mayonnaise sa labi.
6. No name – A virgin would say “STOP IT, STOP IT!!!” A non virgin would say “STUFF IT, STUFF IT!!!”
7. Bocaio – Ang virgin, mahilig sa beer. Ang di na virgin, mahilig sa hard.
8. SPY Shadow – When taking medicine, virgins prefer oral while non-virgins would rather be injected.
9. Yñaki – Ang non-virgins, bago kainin ang iltog at chorizo sa umaga, hinihimas muna.
10. SC – Pag piki, virgin. Pag sakang, di na virgin.
11. SPY Shadow – Ang non-virgins, laging madumi ang pusod.
    
12. Specialist – Ang virgin, hatid sundo. Ang non-virgin, sundot hatid.
13. Ronnie – Drop something on her lap. Ang virgins, iipitin ang mga legs. Ang non-virgins, bubukaka.
14. Specialist – Virgins say, “Thank you!” Non-virgins say, “Please come again!”
15. No name – ang non-virgins, mahilig sa aso. Kasi, nagkakatuta.
16. Bocaio – Ang virgin, mahilig sa bihon. Ang non-virgin, mahilig sa canton.
17. Yani – Virgin: “Hihihi…” Non-virgin: “HAHAHA!”
18. Siver Bullet/ – Virgin: “Bakit mo ko dinala dito?” Non-virgin: “Bakit mo ko dinala dito? Mahina ang aircon dito!”

But she is a Hero...

She's gone... the woman who led the People Power Movement. Mrs Corazon Aquino (fondly known as Tita Cory) had passed away.I'm just too partial for this caption. =)

I barely have consciousness when the PPM was ongoing, but i do have some kind of memory around it. It's sitting on our living room, and watching TV of what seemed like thousands of people in EDSA, hoping to catch a glimpse of my parents and my elder brother. Years later, every People Power Anniversary celebrated, i did. A video with a curly-haired boy on someone's shoulders is shown yearly. That used to be my brother.

remind me to visit the EDSA Shrine when i come back. To pay some respects to the woman who didn't want to be called a hero, but nonetheless she is.