Sunday, September 13, 2009

Signs that you're a Snob

(warning: mother tongue content)

From Chico's blog entitled "Strange Fruit"

i just remembered who i am. =)

The Top Ten Signs That You’re A Snob

Vampgirl – Someone sent me messages to my YM asking why I wasn’t answering. My only reply: “Simple, I don’t chat with jerks like you.”

Carmine – I’m a big reality TV fan, especially Survivor. One time someone asked if I also follow the local version, and I replied: “Sorry, pero pag local na, ayoko na.”

Carmine – A friend asked me to accompany him to Divisoria for xmas shopping. I said: “Would you like it if you got a gift bought from Divisoria?”

Carmine – A friend has a Nokia E90. When asked if it’s easy to use while driving she said, “How would I know? I have a driver.”

Ghildon – When an officemate was offered chicacorn, he said,”I don’t eat chicken food.”

Dru – If you tell people, “I’m broke, but I’m not poor. There’s a difference.”

Knightdriver – When a jeepney cut me rudely, I rolled down my window and shouted, “Kung magmaneho ka, parang may pambayad ka ha!”

Jedi Mstr – If someone asks you if you have the Starbucks planner, and you say, “Ew, you mean its free if you drink enough coffee?”

Dru – I never speak to anyone unless they say my name. Bawal ang sutsot or hoy.

Mai – When a friend asked if I went to the Glorietta sale, I said, “I don’t shop pag sale.”

No name – If you’re talking about something interesting and that person says: “And I care because..?”

SPY Shadow – If you offer her sorbetes and she says: “They don’t call that ‘DIRTY’ for nothin’.”
Geyp – Girl 1: “Do you watch teleserye?” Girl 2: “Ew. Even my yaya doesn’t watch tele-whatever.”

Simon Walker – “Forgive me, you’ve obviously mistaken me for someone who gives a damn.”

Maya – My boss once told an officemate: “I will not reply to your text unless you spell each word completely and correctly.”

Boknoi – After being served inihaw na pusit, a balikbayan said: “Back home, we call that bait.”

No name – When a co-employee was invited to get coffee in the pantry vendo, she said: “Sorry, I don’t drink instant.”

Dyosaimma – When the agents ask me in the mall if I already have a credit card, I answer: “Marami, bakit?”

Purple – My dad, bragging about a bargain he got, tells me: “Alam mo ba kung magkano strap ng watch ko? 20 pesos!” I go: “Hmm. Halata.”

La Senyorita – When a bunch of boys asked for our numbers, my bestfriend smiled and said: “Sorry, but girls with bodies like us, don’t talk to boys with faces like yours.”

Jun13 – While paying at the counter, the cashier asked my friend:”Miss, may advantage card po kayo?” She answered: “Wala. I don’t need discounts.”

Acer – When someone approaches to ask you if you remember them from a long time ago: “Tell me again why I should remember you?”

Caricatura – I said this to friend from Ateneo who admonished me for not watching the UAAP finals: “Sorry, I was busy synthesizing Alain Touraine’s theory on social movements and Jurgen
Habermas’ idea of a liberal democracy. So…who won?”

Tuesday, September 8, 2009

Not thinking, Rather feeling.

To be sarcastic, detached and tactless is really not working for me right now.

... and if i were to continue writing (rather blogging) about what's left of my research (marriage whatnots) and my pet project, i would need to find my center (after being shattered one time too many).

After all, a challenge is a challenge. To be in a war with just a quarter of ammunition intended can get you killed.

Ergo... i'm hibernating.

Friday, September 4, 2009

The last installment

Course now concludes what had happened.

After the crash course teaching English, the 10 spots became tangible. The 10 spots were chosen through our submitted resumes and a round of interview with five interviewers.

Needless to say, i was one of the chosen few. there were 11 spots that was opened, and i was SHOCKED with the choices made. Keeping in mind that i myself was a part of this charade, and that i was observing everybody, and teaching in an adult class i have quite some practice when it comes to evaluating people.

One: They chose some of the WORST speakers. If you don't know what i'm talking about, i would give you an example.


"sit her." (i said HER, not HERE!!)

"okey cheldrens, we are going to red a stowry...." (i've had enough)

Two: They chose the loud ones who are not very smart, can speak better korean than english.

Three: They chose a few of the promising people i noticed

Four: They chose me. I'm intense, a sociopath, and i'm a weirdo.

When they chose the 11 people, they forgot to choose the eager and the diligent.

So there we were, sitting in a conference room, and yet another round of orientation. What was expected, what needs to be done, when we would be going to war, and when payday would be. Skipping all the insensible whatnots, the chosen few will train a bit more, prepare the necessary materials or flashcards, the works that need to be done in preparation, to teach kids.

Then the issue with time arrived: i work 6:00 AM to 8:00 AM. The time schedule that was given is 10:00 AM to 4:00 PM. then back to my work to have 6:30 to 8:30 class. If i do this, it'd be a slow suicide, and i will never see my kids.

I gave up my spot and asked for one of the diligents to take my place instead. Three hours later, one of the wives called and asked me who i chose, because one of the apathetics was there instead.

holy poo on toast!

anyway, i don't care. i stopped caring the moment i took the bus home the same day. If i were to compete for the same position with one of these girls, it'd be too easy. But then again, someone forwarded my name in Gwangju University to teach English. I'm waiting.

**EDITED AGAIN: after this post? i highly doubt anybody from THAT place would want anything to do with me. i'm not waiting anymore, rather, i'm giving my thousand percent (as always) to what i do.

*** EDITED FOR THE THIRD TIME: ... just go figure.