Sunday, September 13, 2009

Signs that you're a Snob

(warning: mother tongue content)

From Chico's blog entitled "Strange Fruit"

i just remembered who i am. =)

The Top Ten Signs That You’re A Snob

Vampgirl – Someone sent me messages to my YM asking why I wasn’t answering. My only reply: “Simple, I don’t chat with jerks like you.”

Carmine – I’m a big reality TV fan, especially Survivor. One time someone asked if I also follow the local version, and I replied: “Sorry, pero pag local na, ayoko na.”

Carmine – A friend asked me to accompany him to Divisoria for xmas shopping. I said: “Would you like it if you got a gift bought from Divisoria?”

Carmine – A friend has a Nokia E90. When asked if it’s easy to use while driving she said, “How would I know? I have a driver.”

Ghildon – When an officemate was offered chicacorn, he said,”I don’t eat chicken food.”

Dru – If you tell people, “I’m broke, but I’m not poor. There’s a difference.”

Knightdriver – When a jeepney cut me rudely, I rolled down my window and shouted, “Kung magmaneho ka, parang may pambayad ka ha!”

Jedi Mstr – If someone asks you if you have the Starbucks planner, and you say, “Ew, you mean its free if you drink enough coffee?”

Dru – I never speak to anyone unless they say my name. Bawal ang sutsot or hoy.

Mai – When a friend asked if I went to the Glorietta sale, I said, “I don’t shop pag sale.”

No name – If you’re talking about something interesting and that person says: “And I care because..?”

SPY Shadow – If you offer her sorbetes and she says: “They don’t call that ‘DIRTY’ for nothin’.”
Geyp – Girl 1: “Do you watch teleserye?” Girl 2: “Ew. Even my yaya doesn’t watch tele-whatever.”

Simon Walker – “Forgive me, you’ve obviously mistaken me for someone who gives a damn.”

Maya – My boss once told an officemate: “I will not reply to your text unless you spell each word completely and correctly.”

Boknoi – After being served inihaw na pusit, a balikbayan said: “Back home, we call that bait.”

No name – When a co-employee was invited to get coffee in the pantry vendo, she said: “Sorry, I don’t drink instant.”

Dyosaimma – When the agents ask me in the mall if I already have a credit card, I answer: “Marami, bakit?”

Purple – My dad, bragging about a bargain he got, tells me: “Alam mo ba kung magkano strap ng watch ko? 20 pesos!” I go: “Hmm. Halata.”

La Senyorita – When a bunch of boys asked for our numbers, my bestfriend smiled and said: “Sorry, but girls with bodies like us, don’t talk to boys with faces like yours.”

Jun13 – While paying at the counter, the cashier asked my friend:”Miss, may advantage card po kayo?” She answered: “Wala. I don’t need discounts.”

Acer – When someone approaches to ask you if you remember them from a long time ago: “Tell me again why I should remember you?”

Caricatura – I said this to friend from Ateneo who admonished me for not watching the UAAP finals: “Sorry, I was busy synthesizing Alain Touraine’s theory on social movements and Jurgen
Habermas’ idea of a liberal democracy. So…who won?”

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