Had enough?

oh, that's not my boobs. it's pinkish, see? caucasian's. i'm guessing it's NB's mother's while breastfeeding him.

He ate those larvaes as a kid and those disgusting things wriggled their way up to NB's brain...

NB= Nightmare Believer
NB= No Balls
NB= No brains... already devoured by those horrible worms while he was raised in what he claims as his upper-middle class past.

Keep missing me. I know you just LOVE having me around.

Maybe my Prejudice was placed wrongly

or maybe not.

Today, while hunting, i noticed the newly posted blog entries by my favorite bloggers (NB, you're not one of them). See, i leave my cookies running so i can have the same sites the next time i turn on my computer. I also open just one or two windows, and running multiple tabs so as not to get too crowded.

I will explain this one again: my prejudice against native speakers in Korea happened because i AM discriminated against them. I am fishing the same market, and i am telling you that competing with them is almost humiliating. My resume's impressive and memorable, my phone interviews mistake me as an NS, but my Nationality immediately gives that screeching halt. Oh, sure.

I dislike Caucasians, but i am trying to prove myself wrong all the time. This discrimination i was raised with is not something i want to live by. So working on proving myself wrong (the way i want to prove myself wrong that there is no such thing as an articulate Irish)... I already have Caucasian friends, and they're sweet people. I am still, however, hung up with disliking them as a whole. To the idiot NB, Caucasians are NOT JUST Americans, alright?

Moving along.

As i was reading through my fave bloggers' entry, clicking the links they posted, reading their featured articles one at a time, i realized something. These NS's and i have a lot more in common after all. Sure they receive better treatment when it comes to interacting with Koreans, they earn 25% more than a Korean minimum wage, and get better benefits, but as a whole, they are judged by stereotype like me with worse reviews.

Filipino wives (Asians, the like) married to Korean men are immediately labeled as gold diggers and mail-ordered brides from a matchmaking agency. You don't get the same label with other colors. The Korean men must be farmers, fishermen, physically or mentally handicapped. Basically the men in which Korean women won't give a second look. From another Filipino's point of view, these (Filipino) women who succumb to such are either desperately wanting to get married, or those who came from the remotest rural areas wanting an easier way out, or the worst: no Filipino guy wanted them. This might be true ten, fifteen years ago, and is still an actual practice. But i come from a generation wherein the women dominate, and that we dated our husbands before moving in this country where the people only see what they saw before, and refuse to believe that there might be another reason. If you want to find the women that are not from this stereotype inter-racial marriage, you will see them online, but you will never "just" meet them in any place. They're hiding in shame.

And why wouldn't they? Last Monday we went to a local government office and the woman who was assisting us whispered (she thought i was not listening or cannot understand) something really offensive about me coming from the Philippines. The mere fact that she whispered ticked me the most, actually. And this much i can tell you:my respect is given ONLY to those who deserve it. So when everybody greeted goodbye, i just went out without looking. So sue me. It happens all the time. Once, while we were in a children's hospital, there was an NS and his wife and his M-i-L. Both our kids were confined for some reason, and i was hoping i could make friends with his wife (not him, etiquette please!) because i can barely speak Korean and she must speak English. I tried, while her mother was looking and they (woman and her mother) looked at me like i was something stuck on a lavatory. Eeew. I raised an eyebrow while clearly staring at them as i walk. Next day they moved to another floor. *shrugs*

Oh, and Nurses do the same. At least Doctors are better, but the nurses! One of them even told me that i am living in Korea i should learn their language. The other one said she cannot speak English so she doesn't want to talk to me about my kid's condition. I replied: you wouldn't be nurses of you didn't pass toeic or TOEFL. You're just hypocrites. And that's just a couple of the many battles we had to go through as we deal with everyday and domestic Korean culture, not the working or the business sector.

However, the NS's community has THE worst critique! Compared to our situation, at least we're not labelled as AIDS-spreading, liquor-abusing, drug addicts! To my limited point of view that could be the worst status anyone could ever get. I feel horrid! I may have disliked these NS's for a while now, but that doesn't mean i have no sympathy to those had to be labeled with something as despicable as that when it's not a fact to anybody but a few.


I have lived in two countries now, and encountered a variety of races and ethnicities, but it always rolls down to one: People are the same everywhere around the globe. There are good people and bad people. And foreigners take the worst judgment ever in any country. The E2 visa holders are screened. If one or two rotten eggs got mixed up with the good ones, it wouldn't be their fault. Blame the idiots who approve and stamp their visas.

I'm getting sleepy. i'll do a part2 later.

미밍 (Miming) has a home!

And this decision came out not rather unanimous as;
1. it's a cat, it sheds quite a lot of fur.
2. it's a cat, and nobody knows anything about it. and;
3. IT'S A CAT!!!

Not to mention the possibilities of allergies and the hidden diseases he has because he was a stray barely a week ago, and we still cannot give it a bath as his little paw is not yet healed. But then again, we dicided to keep him. There were six people who will decided if Miming's going to stay, or will he be thrown out after his paw gets better: Mother and Father-in-Law, husband, me, Isaac (my son) and Yzbel (my daughter).

Two kids said: keep!
husband said: throw
father-in-law said: throw (very dirty creature!)
i say: i don't know
and...
mother-in-law said: why not...

So i guess we'll be buying Cat Food after all.. =) three people voted for him to stay.

미밍 (Miming) has a home!

Momma and the Cat Update

The cat already has a name: Miming (미밍). She's quite fond of me. I don't get why me, but my kids love it when she limps towards me and tries to get me to stroke her, which i do while wearing gloves. If not she wouldn't shut up.

So three questions:

1. How am i to get rid of this cat after it gets better without risking my son's heart breaking?

2. What am i supposed to do with this little furball? and;

3. What on earth do these creatures eat? i will not risk buying cat food as it's a stray and will not stay long, so we feed it dog food instead (we have a dog, and is chained forever).

Momma and the Cat

If you know me at all then you are aware that i HATE animals.

I hate ALL bugs but two: butterflies and ants.

I only like one animal and it's an impossible pet: dolphins.

I'm afraid of dogs. As a kid i was bitten by a huge dog. I think it's safe to say I'm phobic. The sound of a barking dog can send me to tears.

I'm afraid of frogs and their kind. When i was 13 i had a dream of an aquarium. A HUGE aquarium with three animals inside; a praying mantis, a lizard and a frog. Somehow, i was watching the three animals and i saw the praying mantis catch and eat the lizard. Halfway through the lizard screamed, "help! help me!"(in Filipino language, Tagalog). After that, i woke up shaking, scared and crying. Three years to get over my fear of lizards (today, still shaky with the thought, nonetheless okay), and still working on my fear of frogs.

I specially HATE cats. I don't like their claws, don;t like their tails. i just hate cats. They're not cute, nowhere near. I don't understand cat-lovers but i don't care. I don't want cats near my kids because they might give my darlings asthma. I cannot explain. It's irrational, but nobody's bothered by it so it's irrelevant.

But it's a weird day today. Earlier posts, i keep on mentioning that i do not go out. Not even the front gate once a day. However, my husband went out by the car, and it took him three minutes. He doesn't smoke by the car, he usually smokes on the roof, or by the stairs, NEVER beside the car. SO i thought he went to buy more smokes. I went out to close the gate, looked left and right, and i saw my husband stooping. He was pointing something underneath the car.

"What's up?"

And there it was, a kitten. It was injured. One of her paws is broken, and she's got this half-healed wound under her ear. It was heart-breaking. The little furball went as far as she could out of my husband's reach, but when i kneeled and stretched my arms to her, she limped towards me.

Husband, the ultimate apathetic turd, immediately said not to, that I can't take it inside the house. Well, i may be a stuck-up bitch, but if something needs help, we should. And that cat certainly does. So if he doesn't want the cat inside, i will ask M-i-L. Husband HAS no choice. Not to mention my son kept on yelling that there's a cat. =) he was excited to see an animal on the premises.

We already fixed her. We (husband and i) put a little cast-like for her broken paw, and disinfected her wound. At first we (M-i-L and i) put her on a box, but she kept on jumping to get out. So we let her choose her spot (she picked under the stairs), put in a place to sleep, gave her food and milk. Right now she's sleeping.

I told my son, and will tell my daughter, and i will make sure that they will remember: when something needs help, it's our responsibility to help. That is one very valuable lesson my kids need to learn. After all, my Dad taught me the same.

Help those in need.

Although, I'm not sure if i will keep the cat. I still hate cats, you know. But my son... if you would have seen the look on his face while he stroked this dirty stray... My daughter's scared of the furball, but kept on looking anyway (heehee!)... My son, Isaac already told us (husband and i), that we should not throw away the cat, and that he wants to wake up tomorrow and SEE the cat (his father's already planning on how to get rid of this little cat). He's a demanding little shrew, like his momma, and he made sure that his father knows that he wanted the cat.

We'll see!

My hidden Agenda

I am part of this inter-racial marriage. Through the laws of Korea i am in a rather lower part of the society, and i don't care.

I have two kids, and i treasure them. They can make or break my day... usually make =). But there's a law in Korea with regards to them and their parents. I highly doubt my husband and i would get a divorce like these opportunist who went to Korea for their Korean Dream (like nb said), but prefer to be safe. My kids, if we separate, would go to my husband. According to the Korean system, their fathers would give them a much better future than what their foreign mothers can give. Just thinking that they would be taken away from me makes me choke. I can't, i'd rather jump off a building (too Korean)...

And i want to prove that wrong. My husband and i vowed to grow old together, and we will share our whole life together, but just to be on the safe side...

I'd rather him be my house husband. ;)

My diary, go away!

*Edited*
This entry was done because an idiot suddenly came and decided he'd be a bitch. My apologies if you're nice and then you had to read this.

There's a warning on my profile: i am disturbed. this is my outlet, and i do not need anyone to point that one out. I did not ask you to come here and be sympathetic, or insult what i am trying to change or do. I am not angry, not yet. I am not bitter, rather annoyed. Try and feed the fire and it might explode.

It is my journal, meant for me and me alone. Nobody begged you to read it.

I wouldn't know as i have NEVER been to Angeles City, but it has a reputation. Not everyone who went there shared the same sentiments as Teddy Roosevelt did. Of course, you wouldn't know nor care as it's one of the darkest parts of our history. Funny you mentioned it and not know how that place turned out.

You called me poor. Were you there when i was born, or when i was raised, or when i was studying? Your country is no doubt wealthier than my motherland, but that doesn't mean we didn't have status nor standards. I know what we are, and i am not one of the stereotype mail-ordered from a matchmaking agency. Course, since you're an idiot too, you will NEVER understand, but I have time, i will explain to a simpleton how.

My husband was my student. We dated, we were in-love, had pre-marital sex (aka fuckfest), i was an idiot then I had a baby before we got married. That's why i am disowned. My father's family is Chinese, my mother's is partially Spanish. Do you have any idea how they raised daughters?

There's more... husband has no religion. My father would have murdered me if he found out i tried to go to other churches. Knowing that husband was an atheist he was infuriated even more. My mother's side had already threatened to dispose this man i share my life with. I can either choose to save him or live a life full of guilt. This part of my life is over. I am happy with my choice.

My life, as you called it sad and pathetic only has ONE factor that you see. I'm married. The word has it's own complications, you wouldn't know as you are still dating. Having kids immediately isn't as bad as you picture it to be. it's not toxic, means we are both healthy so we have to be careful. You only encountered a couple of Filipinos, the stereotypes, and you already judged and assumed that everybody gets pregnant right after marriage. You really are an imbecile.

This was actually our second school. The first one was taken away because of office politics with the Korean counterparts. Through some contract technicalities we were not able to retrieve what we invested. The SOB left there is so happy as he was able to get three times his money's worth, plus the entire school itself. We declared bankruptcy, meaning our SAVINGS WERE ZEROED. We still have an income, and we still pay the bills on time. Not like we're in the "government budget" the way US poor people do. Panic season for us starts in two years, when my son will need to go to school. If I think of their future, i plan (rather five months ago). Course if i were in speaking terms with my father it would be easier... but i don't want to. i prefer my way, and my way alone. With this i am happy. Not satisfied, as satisfaction is not an easy thing to achieve, but comfortable. Obviously i want a greener pasture as i am trying to build up our savings again, and to re-establish what we (husband and i) agreed: me working, him my house husband.

There! We're not stereotype. Nowhere near.

An update...

I failed that Summer Camp interview. The interview went well, i received positive feedbacks, but they already interviewed over 40 people, and they will only hire 9.

Do the math. So i'm off to hunt again!

I don't like you too.

Hello, NB. Nice of you to drop in. Apparently, you have tried to judged me and my life in a nutshell i'd like to call my blog. My friend said no one should heed such morons. But I'm an evil WHORE. And since you judged me according to stereotype...

I checked your blog. Interesting pictures of Asian women with hideous short bowlegs, showing off their bodies like it's the most beautiful thing in the world. It made me puke.

Decent men attract decent women. Jerks go out with bitches. And since you're a garbage spitting Sasquatch, your 95 pound sexy girlfriend must be a slutbag whore. nice adjective for a 17-year-old. In which case, i know you wouldn't deny it, rather confirm that she IS indeed a slutbag whore... as you only go out with their kind.


You must be very well mannered, as you kept on insulting almost everything. You must have grown up in a place where everybody is as well mannered as you are, same way as there might be no decent men from where i came from. You're from US? Ah, yes. The superior race of people. The ultimate racists. The country without an ORIGINAL culture.

Although i agreed with you on some points: Korean women are hypocrites when it comes to sex and provocative clothing. They will keep on insisting that they're conservative, but their mini skirts can give the firecrotch a run for her money.