Sound effects sold separately

*tap, tap, tap* herm herm!!

Joy to the world
the teacher's dead
we bar-be-cued her head!

what happened to her body?
we flushed it down the potty
and round and round it goes
and round and round it goes...

an excerpt from The Simpson's very own "Nelson"

I like Nelson in the cartoons the Simpson's. He's a misunderstood kid who likes to pretend he's a very tough guy, but on the inside he's a real softie. There's one episode that proved that he's not just a bully.

I'm inspired by Nelson's song today because he is the kind of student i have wanted all my life. I told A a couple days ago that helping women and kids is what i really wanted to do(there's a title, you don't have to know). As a kid, there were clubs in school, and while everybody i knew swarmed to be at the "coolest" clubs, i joined a charity helper's club. There were ONLY 15 members and clubs were open to all levels. However, it's the club i liked the most. During High School i joined the same club, only mixed with a religion (i can sense A's objections rising). To make the long story short, i do want to help kids. I forgot about it when i started focusing on having fun and detaching myself from the geeky stuff. I forgot when i got married and had kids. I forgot and it's my fault. So now, I'm gonna have to fix my schedule so i could take my kids too, it'd be fun. A was kind enough to give me a charity org to start with. Just don't expect me to call immediately, alright? I am fixing what needs to be fixed FIRST.

*I'd tell you who A is, but he warned me that if i reveal him, he'd take DNA from me using the tip of his fingernails.*

There's one lesson that my Daddy taught me: help those in need. The rare moments that i shared with my Dad almost everything's stayed stuck. When my mother used to travel and take my two brothers (never me) on her business trip, i usually end up in Daddy's office. We'd take a bus, and a jeepney (way back then we didn't have a car, i was 6) and walk on a very busy pedestrian lane. His office was in Sta. Mesa (PLDT), and there's a place that we passed full of less fortunate people. Daddy's pockets are usually filled with coins. That day he took me to his office i understood why. =) He gave those coins to old women and children, but not the men. Everytime i go out with him, just him, it's a ritual, no matter where he goes. I don't see him do that when he's with my mother, though. No words. Just a role that he played. When i started working, i tried doing the same thing. I kinda get that i have to give back even a bit of what i received.

After leaving my father's house, after moving to Korea, not having a job made me stop. I cannot give if i have nothing to offer, right? And after the month of August, i know i can.

I have a job ^^.. part time but it's still something.

And it's definitely time to give back.

Speechless (aka i don't know how to respond)

What do you like the most about Korea?

I have no response to that question. I could think a lot pf reasons why i like Korea, but certainly not "the most" likable.

Almost four years ago, when i came to Korea, the only "shock" i received was about how disciplined the pedestrians are. Coming from the Philippines, not everybody used the ped xing lanes. I know i usually don't. Not everybody used the pedestrian bridges (i forgot the word) to cross some major roads, and not everybody paid attention to the traffic lights. Who cares if it's green? No cars, just cross!!

Course there's a possibility that in some other cities in Korea there'd be some similar "pedestrian mishaps" but i certainly have not seen it in Gwangju.

Before coming here, i had been exposed to Korean culture for almost two years. I worked for an English Language Cram School. I was called a "boarding house teacher" in that school i worked for. Aside from my normal work load, I lived in a boarding house with the students where everything in the house is almost Korean-related: house rules, food, language (duh?), the works. My job living with them is to try and impose English as much as i can, and conduct evening classes for two hours every night. The classes called "Tea-time" are not really classes. It's an activity that we prepared, or what the students wanted, or needed wherein everything done is still in English. It could be a bowling session, a grammar cram session, a homework session, movies, sometimes just out and drinking (soju?). I had lived with Koreans 24-5. I had my share of hostilities from jerks or bitches, my share of sweet moments with the girls and boys, and major BOREDOM as sometimes, students just refuse to do anything in tea time therefore letting them do whatever they want, just making sure they'd speak even a little English.

So there was nothing really new to me when i came here. Even their language wasn't too surprising. Food? Again, living with Koreans 24/5 in a house where Korean food is served. People? I was a boarding house teacher: three houses with different number of people, changing every 4-6 months.

But i like Korea. I love the Philippines to a point i cannot explain, but i also like Korea. I like the season when all the bugs die or hibernate. I hate bugs. The bugs here are creepier. Centipedes are longer and thicker, ants are a little thicker (not bigger), butterflies are smaller but the caterpillars are bigger, bees (OMG) are everywhere... okay, nonsensical complaints =P but you get the idea, yes?

I like the respect given to old people. I haven't' been out much, but to the ones i have seen? The respect given to the elderly are amazing. Although the children are quite monstrous and impolite, i have yet to find out how they turn out to grow up somehow socially conscious of etiquette.

And in this random array of thoughts i have compiled (yet again) i still don't have an answer to that question... I still have more reasons why i like it here...

A Brian-Inspired Post

This entry from Brian was stuck on my head. I found it disturbing.

To summarize, his entry was about a bear-cub being "trained" to face something, and all for the fun of the viewers. The caretaker of that particular cub annoyed me the most because she's torturing the animal. Now, i may not be an animal lover, but i sure am not cruel to them. I just ignore, or get out of its way. IF it doesn't need help, then we leave it alone,. If it's almost dying, injured or whatever, there's always some gloves (i hate touching animals).

Two days ago, my husband's cousin's wife gave birth to a baby girl. There was so much muss and fuss from our side, because F-i-L said we have to go see (or give graces) to the little girl. Oh, sure!

Before i rant on what happened today, i will tell you one thing: i kinda dislike the kid's mother. Why?

Cousin's wife is older than cousin. She looks mid-30's, while cousin is just late 20's. A lot of issues were raised when they asked permission to get married. SHE'S OLDER. Husband is the first born male of the first born patriarch (F-i-L). His opinions matter. I told husband age is not a factor (since we have a 10-year gap), what matters is that they're decided. I convinced the man it's not an issue.

Fast Forward to: M-i-L's 60th birthday. As all Koreans do, it's important to celebrate their 60th turn. Something related to history, like it's lucky to be alive at 60. So there we were, celebrating in another raw fish restaurant (eeew) with the entire clan. Cousin and his wife were there, so was my brother-in-law and his wife. Among these women, i hold the highest respect. Not by choice, i'm telling you, but by tradition. Both of them are older than me by a considerable gap. However, i do not care. Some of my friends are older than my husband, some of my ex-staffs were older than M-i-L herself! Heck, age is never an issue to me.

As part of what i should be doing, i have to at least mingle with these women. My kids are older, and we will see each other during holidays, whether i like it or not. So i went to join them. With the news that cousin's wife is having a baby, i thought i should congratulate her. To be polite, and to acknowledge the fact that the clan's growing. The two women were sitting on the same table, and when i obviously joined their table, somehow they decided to ignore me.

... okay...

Then, after the celebration, we were all getting ready to leave when i noticed cousin's wife was looking at me like i'm a bug. WTF?! Like i was disgusting or something. Keep in mind, women in families don't really have any roles, except for the wives of the first borns. eeew. if she wants my responsibilities, then be my effing guest. she obviously has no idea on how MY JOB works.

*************************************
Then i'd have to go see her and her kid to pay some respect? She didn't do her part, why should i go? She looked at me like a bug, maybe she was thinking, i'm just a gold digger because i came from another country, is waay younger than her (and everybody else, for that matter), and should be ignored.
*************************************

Course there's a possibility that she's also an idiot who can't speak english like my brother-in-law's wife.

I suddenly thought of Brian's post. Putting two species in one cage is not just done in zoos here. On Saturday, i will be put in the lion's cage, although i'm the monkey. Husband knows what this little crapper did, and told my son before he and his grandmother paid a visit: Hit the damn baby (in Korean).

Wouldn't you know it? My son answered: 네!

aww.. poor kiwi!

this entry is inspired by strange fruit, the blog of one of the two greatest DJ's in the Philippines: Chico Garcia.

A video featured in his blog entitled kiwi.

It's quite heartbreaking, in a way that can be related to a lot of people.

Sometimes we focus on the ONE thing that fate has deprived us of, and we spend all our lives chasing after that ONE unattainable goal, even if it leads to our eventual ruin.

Including me.

So we gloss over whatever blessing, whatever gift, whatever good fortune that was bestowed on us and focus on that which was, at least in our limited understanding, withheld. Sometimes we chase after love, or success, or wealth, or fame, or recognition, or approval, or lost youth, or whatever pipe dream we chase after that’s always just a few steps ahead, conveniently out of our reach. And when the unattainable remains unattained, we’re willing to risk anything, whatever the cost, just to reach our goal,

My goal, my dream, my purpose...


and i still remember everything from the day they were conceived. =)

Writing Comes with a Stroke of Inspiration.

... and i guess it's not really happening today. I am sooo bored. So as a result, i am compiling a dizzying array of thoughts from random days...

Our newest addition to our family: a dachshund mixed mongrel (Any). Haven't i mentioned that i'm an animal hater? i HATE animals... and the animals just keep on coming, and coming *sigh*

Last Sunday, M-i-L exchanged our white Jindo dog for a puppy. 창아 was the dog who greeted me when i came here in Korea. I hated dogs then, i hated dogs till now, but being there for three years and then suddenly gone is quite painful. I actually cried. One of the rare moments i actually shed tears (LOL).

Miming is not eating cat food. Because she prefers rice. I don't know how, i don't know why. One day after we have decided to keep him, we hadn't gotten around of buying cat food. The old woman who lives next door gave us half a bucket of scorched (rather burned) rice to give as dog food (the next dog owner is 7 houses away). My first thought was throw it immediately because dogs don't eat rice (not ours, anyway). M-i-L gave the dog rice and Miming chased after it. So, this little furball's diet is: fish entrails (i am a fish eater... not meat) meaning guts and gills not bones, and rice. course we have to cook it for a couple minutes... and he is now quite fat. ^^

NB slandered me on his blog... although thanks to him i had a great idea. ^^ he's an idiot. I just don't get how NB's so mad at Filipinos. Maybe he went to Angeles City (the only place he knew) and the prostitutes there leeched all his money (LMAO). My friends and i actually have a great time slandering him with disgusting speculations while we talk. Dumb Blonde Samuel is his worshipper. Looks to me like faggot worship ^^. And yes, they will be both slandered on my blog whenever i feel like it. After all, i'm a girl! I can bitch out anytime i want. Men, if they keep on doing that, they're gay. ^^

We're expecting a job interview from Ireland. They called yesterday, e-mailed me because there wasn't any response, and will call again. ^^ I mentioned couple blogs ago that i do not believe in articulate Irishes. I was just proven wrong as call centers (rather contact centres) are now popping up like mushrooms on the job sites i'm using... some of it located in Northern Ireland.

And lastly, i'm trying to build a website. Still groping in the dark because i'm an idiot, but i'm going to try anyway. ^^

Had enough?

oh, that's not my boobs. it's pinkish, see? caucasian's. i'm guessing it's NB's mother's while breastfeeding him.

He ate those larvaes as a kid and those disgusting things wriggled their way up to NB's brain...

NB= Nightmare Believer
NB= No Balls
NB= No brains... already devoured by those horrible worms while he was raised in what he claims as his upper-middle class past.

Keep missing me. I know you just LOVE having me around.

Maybe my Prejudice was placed wrongly

or maybe not.

Today, while hunting, i noticed the newly posted blog entries by my favorite bloggers (NB, you're not one of them). See, i leave my cookies running so i can have the same sites the next time i turn on my computer. I also open just one or two windows, and running multiple tabs so as not to get too crowded.

I will explain this one again: my prejudice against native speakers in Korea happened because i AM discriminated against them. I am fishing the same market, and i am telling you that competing with them is almost humiliating. My resume's impressive and memorable, my phone interviews mistake me as an NS, but my Nationality immediately gives that screeching halt. Oh, sure.

I dislike Caucasians, but i am trying to prove myself wrong all the time. This discrimination i was raised with is not something i want to live by. So working on proving myself wrong (the way i want to prove myself wrong that there is no such thing as an articulate Irish)... I already have Caucasian friends, and they're sweet people. I am still, however, hung up with disliking them as a whole. To the idiot NB, Caucasians are NOT JUST Americans, alright?

Moving along.

As i was reading through my fave bloggers' entry, clicking the links they posted, reading their featured articles one at a time, i realized something. These NS's and i have a lot more in common after all. Sure they receive better treatment when it comes to interacting with Koreans, they earn 25% more than a Korean minimum wage, and get better benefits, but as a whole, they are judged by stereotype like me with worse reviews.

Filipino wives (Asians, the like) married to Korean men are immediately labeled as gold diggers and mail-ordered brides from a matchmaking agency. You don't get the same label with other colors. The Korean men must be farmers, fishermen, physically or mentally handicapped. Basically the men in which Korean women won't give a second look. From another Filipino's point of view, these (Filipino) women who succumb to such are either desperately wanting to get married, or those who came from the remotest rural areas wanting an easier way out, or the worst: no Filipino guy wanted them. This might be true ten, fifteen years ago, and is still an actual practice. But i come from a generation wherein the women dominate, and that we dated our husbands before moving in this country where the people only see what they saw before, and refuse to believe that there might be another reason. If you want to find the women that are not from this stereotype inter-racial marriage, you will see them online, but you will never "just" meet them in any place. They're hiding in shame.

And why wouldn't they? Last Monday we went to a local government office and the woman who was assisting us whispered (she thought i was not listening or cannot understand) something really offensive about me coming from the Philippines. The mere fact that she whispered ticked me the most, actually. And this much i can tell you:my respect is given ONLY to those who deserve it. So when everybody greeted goodbye, i just went out without looking. So sue me. It happens all the time. Once, while we were in a children's hospital, there was an NS and his wife and his M-i-L. Both our kids were confined for some reason, and i was hoping i could make friends with his wife (not him, etiquette please!) because i can barely speak Korean and she must speak English. I tried, while her mother was looking and they (woman and her mother) looked at me like i was something stuck on a lavatory. Eeew. I raised an eyebrow while clearly staring at them as i walk. Next day they moved to another floor. *shrugs*

Oh, and Nurses do the same. At least Doctors are better, but the nurses! One of them even told me that i am living in Korea i should learn their language. The other one said she cannot speak English so she doesn't want to talk to me about my kid's condition. I replied: you wouldn't be nurses of you didn't pass toeic or TOEFL. You're just hypocrites. And that's just a couple of the many battles we had to go through as we deal with everyday and domestic Korean culture, not the working or the business sector.

However, the NS's community has THE worst critique! Compared to our situation, at least we're not labelled as AIDS-spreading, liquor-abusing, drug addicts! To my limited point of view that could be the worst status anyone could ever get. I feel horrid! I may have disliked these NS's for a while now, but that doesn't mean i have no sympathy to those had to be labeled with something as despicable as that when it's not a fact to anybody but a few.


I have lived in two countries now, and encountered a variety of races and ethnicities, but it always rolls down to one: People are the same everywhere around the globe. There are good people and bad people. And foreigners take the worst judgment ever in any country. The E2 visa holders are screened. If one or two rotten eggs got mixed up with the good ones, it wouldn't be their fault. Blame the idiots who approve and stamp their visas.

I'm getting sleepy. i'll do a part2 later.