At Least i Knew i Had a Shot until...

And i am blogging again because of another disappointment.

This afternoon, after contemplating long and hard on whether i should call or not, i decided there's no harm in doing a phone interview. I was nervous, i got to admit. The last interview i had was on the Philippines, in the Korean Embassy on how i became a teacher, where i came from (you're the first one i ever interviewed who was born and raised on the Metro AND married a Korean[IDIOT MAN]) or why i married my husband (an even bigger stupidity). Okay, starting to get round in circles here...

My last job in the Philippines, it was ME who did the interviews. In the University i worked at was a charity case. I was called in to do the kids a favor. The students i had all came to me. Today i had to undergo a serious anxiety attack before placing that call. I was going to call TWO possible employers. I should have called yesterday, but courtesy dictates, i just sent my resume so call the next day just to be sure it was read, and to be extra polite, i had to check my mail before calling. NOTHING, so i decided to call right after lunch. And i did.

The first call i placed, it was a secretary, i assume, who answered the phone. The man i was hoping to talk to was still having lunch (i suppose) so i had to call again after an hour. I called again, and the phone call was ignored. I'm not calling again...

The second phone call i did, i was able to reach the manager. We talked for a couple minutes until i mentioned that i was NOT a native speaker. He asked a couple more questions until finally he said,

i would like to hire you, but we have to give priority to US or Canada etc...

aww... OUCH! I thanked him for his time, and spent the rest of my afternoon weeping. Pathetic that i cried over rejection when i used to NEVER care. I turned into a wimp! So, i took a shower, and tried to wash away the thoughts that started tormenting me again.... that i can't get an effing job because my nationality gets in the way. Obviously, it failed miserably.
BECAUSE these people would rather hire an inexperienced anybody from those countries, born with English as their first language. The Irish has the worst accent (my opinion, nobody else's) i have ever encountered. I tried listening to Irish accent and i was terribly annoyed. It's hardly recognizable. The kiwis, their pronunciation of words are almost homophonic! Indiscernible unless you pay close attention to. US and Canada are linked together, contemporary conversations are usually done in their style... Brits and Australians are holders of the typical old-fashioned english (no offense). Their accent are usually what's used with it. I SAID USUALLY, not all!

I wonder why the Korean Government announced that there's a possibility of our kind to work here, when obviously, there is no chance in hell that we could. All recruiting agencies i have tried won't cater to my kind. Early this year, it was announced that Asian teachers will egt a shot at the ESL job market of Korea this year, WHEN HIRING SEASON has come, and is closing soon.

OH, ALRIGHT!

I admit! I'm a good girl, in every sense. The idea of me being bitchy and snappy is a cover up, because i usually am taken advantage of. I hate that. I soo despised it because; 1. even my mother did it, and; 2. I was brought up like a Spanish daughter. If you don't know how that one works out, think of it like this: you know i exist, but you have NEVER seen me. In rare occassions wherein you decided to visit my father's house, you will ONLY get a whiff of my existence, and NEVER see me for the rest of your stay, unless you were invited for an over-nighter.

Although, part of me really is a bitch. I became tough love.. that is, four years after i left.

My prejudice against Native Speakers? It's only because i am discriminated against them. Well, not just me, but the rest of my kind. And it's not fair. Life's never fair, but all i can do is hate the twisted system altogether. I have, as the rest of Korea calls it, NATIVE SPEAKER friends. They're very sweet people, and i have even invited some of them to work here when the job market opened. Sometimes, when i'm watching kiddie TV programs, and i see some NS making mistakes, i get so worked up, then i start ranting (yet again) on why the system is soo perplexing.

I don't like Caucasians because, they creep me out. They remind me of perverts that roam around the cities of Manila when night falls. Oh, alright! Because my mother and my father brainwashed me that they're not good people. So are the Japanese and Korean people. Although i proved to them that Korean people are quite kind, i think running away with my now-husband might have given them a much worse impression. =P. My friends from the old school i worked at thought i was very naive, because i do, and say only what my mother puts on my head, and my mouth. Took me a while to get my own words back. I even lost a very good friend because my mother put ideas on my head, and didn't trust my own judgement. That good friend, is still very mad at me. I apologized to her after realizing what happened, and she didn't bother herself with it. That much damage.

SO now, every bit of me is working hard to have an identity. Far from my mother's words, and different from my father's, SOmewhere in me, the little girl with my mother's ideas and words sometimes comes out and play, and she destroys good relationships i had. The new person i am trying to be, is trying to murder her. =)

Filipino Basher

An idiot KIWI here thought she's smarter than an entire country.

And i will face the fact that i am like her. But she's not all that. As a native speaker, she should have at least a decent way of writing.... NOT! Her grammar stinks (if you're a teacher, you'd find the spot immediately), assuming that she's a KIWI, her accent should be (dare I use the word?) *toot*.

Let me clarify something: the Philippines, much as this idiot woman claims difficult to understand with regards to our spoken English, has a load of dialects that have some stiff accents, even for our standards. And then maybe, she should just quit her job. 250 call centers in the Philippines will drive her crazy. I say, i'm all for it!!

WOOT! Philippine job market is happy. One very smart, and very lucky person can steal her current position. And i will pray for that to happen very soon.

JOBHUNTING'S SUCH A BITCH!

I am now officially pathetic.

Thank you for your application but unfortunately we can not help you to apply public school in South Korea due to public school application regulations.

Native English teacher must graduate middle school to university in English speaking country including US, CA, NA, AU, SA and UK .

If you haven't graduated your secondary school and university in one of those countries then we can not help you to apply public school in South Korea .

As we are recruiting public school teachers in South Korea our agency won't able to help you with this case.

I wish you best luck for your future ESL career and Thank you for your understanding in advance.

Best wishes

What best wishes? I HAVE graduated secondary level. I AM a university UNDERGRADUATE. The only fucked up fact that is that i am not a citizen of any of those Native Speaking Countries. And they will accept Mexicans because it said NORTH and SOUTH America.

UGH! Who cares! Once upon a time, i was a very promising teacher, with leadership and managerial skills to boot! I was an aspiring writer, challenging myself over, and over, and over just to keep up with the evolution of THIS language this country desperately yearns. But again.. WHO EFFING CARES?! In this frustrating place, i am a useless sack of muck product from a country, more effective in speaking English than these idiots who are now fishing abroad for more white skinned teachers who they hope, can teach this language they sooo want.

You want rave, I'll give you rave. Did you know that in the Philippines, these people coming from these countries cannot even compete to Filipino English teachers? My friends, most of them are licensed teachers, and one of them told me this funny story. See, they (my friend and another colleague) went to apply for a private institution in the Philippines. They were applying together with (dig this?) white-skinned people, who, as labeled from this country, NATIVE SPEAKERS. I said people, not person, it's plural. I'm not telling you how many, but there were certainly more than three. Subject to teach: English.

If you ever applied to teach in a school in the Philippines, then you are aware that there are certain degrees of interview and tests before actually landing the job. Wouldn't you know it, the Native Speakers were denied the tenure, and my friends got the job. The idiots, only refused to do the work because; 1. Religion (Iglesia Ni Kristo) collided with the school (Catholic), and; 2. because the other idiot didn't want to stay. If you ever studied in the Philippines, or had younger sibling starting school, then you are also aware that private catholic schools are NOT cheap. Teachers' salaries on those places are well-deserved.

There's mo-oore....
The call centers. Do these people from US or anywhere else actually think that when you call for an inquiry or an account, or stock market, they're speaking with Native Speakers too? My brother worked in a call center, dealing with stock market. My dad, also worked in a call center before i went away, and my dad always had stories on how these idiots from these countries HAVE NO COMMON SENSE. Simple questions: Have you tried the on button?; or Did you check the batteries?; and these people, as my dad would say, just slap their foreheads and apologize, sometimes just hanging up because they're too embarrassed. DO THE MATH!

Getting lost in my dizzying thoughts: CALL CENTERS THAT ARE US-BASED ARE LOCATED IN THE PHILIPPINES, and not underground LA!!!

No, i am not giving up. My dad, he taught me that much: persevere.

25 Random Things About Me

and this is the first time I'll dare to do it.

1. I only like wearing dark colors. If you see me on a pink shirt, it means i was paid to do so.

2. I hate all animals. I hate bugs, and i have a phobia with frogs. You want to murder me send me a box full of croaking slime-covered green frogs.

3. I'm a disowned daughter, and i don't know where my parents are living, although i am sure that somewhere they are trying to deny and cover it up, and never admit that i eloped.

4. I despise Caucasians. Even before i started my prejudice with Native speakers, i despised their race. I have met a few good guys, but i still don't like them in general.

5. If asked what my favorite food is, i usually answer junk food, because nobody would believe that i LOOVE vegetables and fish but not seafood. However, i do not eat onions.

6. After getting married, i had more haircuts than i remember.

7. I'm planning to have a tattoo... at my back. I plan it to be a dragon that will peek a little on my nape.

8. My husband's a jerk.. and i LOVE him for that. He's perfect, simply because I'm too much of a bitch to be handled by a wimp.

9. I'm hyper, but i now have something to keep my hands full. My kids are the little and super-hyped versions of me. I am POSITIVE that NO ONE in this world would be able to babysit them, not even their father.

10. I like word games.

11. I refuse to lie. If i were in trouble, and lying is the only way to get off the hook, I'd rather go to jail.

12. I'm an extremely jealous person, and i don't share the people i love. I even threatened my husband that if he touches another woman, the last thing that bitch will see is her blood squirting off her neck. And husband knows i am capable of doing so.

13. I only have three male friends left. My husband is also as extreme as i am. =P

14. I don't wear sneakers, even with two little maniacs running in the mall, i wear my 5-inch heels.

15. I can cook. I learned from my mother, but somehow, my husband doesn't like my cooking. My kids do, my mother-in-law does, some friends that i cooked for did, but not this man i share my life with.

16. I miss "balot". The only Filipino dish i am not intimate with the process.

17. I am a thinking Catholic. Don't ask me about religion, because i know (and learned!) stuff about it that can raise controversy. But i don't pray much. I have faith, but i prefer to stay quiet.

18. I want to learn how to drive, because i don't like public transportation. Four years in Korea, and i only rode the taxi three times, the bus 8 times, three of them on my own, and the train (not subway) once. Husband prefers to drive me anywhere.

19. I now secretly like the color green, but i wouldn't be caught dead wearing, nor sporting any outfit or accessory with it.

20. After my second baby, i only drink cold milk coffee. i tried drinking hot coffee, i ended up putting ice on it.

21. I got my glasses when i was 16, i became aware that my vision was bad when i was 13, and had my vision blurred since i was 8. Having glasses made me appreciate everything i see.

22. I only admired two women my whole life, and none of them is my mother.

23. I also despise only two people in my life, and i have been scheming on how to expose and humiliate them publicly.

24. i can't sleep without my furry square-shaped pillow.

25. I currently have no reason to come back to my motherland.

Ouch! Denied, yet again.

How lame is it that i am now blogging to just relieve me of this exploding emotion? I was rejected. By a recruiting agency because the first reason was: i was not qualified to apply for an E2 visa. WTF?!?! In my application letter, i specified that i'm an f2 visa holder.

Unfortunately, there are qualifications for an E2 visa. Applicants are required to be native speakers. Hope you understand this procedure. I wish you success in your future endeavors.

So, as pathetic as it may sound, i sent a message again. I know it sounded a bit bitchy, but what can i do. It touched a nerve. It also looks pathetic now from my point of view, almost desperate. But in reality, i am. I want to work. I have always worked, and before marrying this man i now call husband, we agreed that he'd be my house husband. because i have the urge to work. Moving along...

Hi, Ms Becky. I think you missed. I'm already in Korea as an f2 visa holder. Does this mean i won't be able to place any job because as stated: Native Speakers? I am not a Native Speaker, rather an educated one, having English as my first language and i went to schools where the curriculum was strictly imposed in English. I also have been teaching the language in the Philippines to South Koreans, my students ranging from middle school kids to businessmen and professionals. I was a trainer to new teachers who will teach the language to South Koreans. I think i will be good for the job.
That said, thank you for your time.

Well, i really was all that. i trained teachers, men and women older than i am. My students were older than i was (19), and i really insulted about 85% of them. BECAUSE i was too young, and i was very good at what i'm doing, and i turned out to be one of the most challenging teachers.


You think you can find who i am among the group? those were my colleagues and friends.

And the recruiter responded with this:

Of course, you are able to find a job and work in Korea, but we only deal with a native speaker from US, UK, New Zealand,Ireland, Austrailia, Canada and South Africa.

So there. And here i am sulking, and digesting the fact that i can't get a job. Because they want three things that i cannot provide: white skin (native speakers), nationality (Filipino), and a degree. Without those three, what i have achieved is useless.

And Here Goes my Prejudice Again...

Woot! Job market is open. The entire country is searching for ESL teachers... about 5,000 of them. Salary ranges from 2.2 mil to 3 mil Won. Plus airfare, housing, 50% insurance, allowance, severance pay, paid vacation, the works. That is one helluva job! working for an average of 30 hours a week, if you call babysitting in English to kids who can't even understand about three quarters of what you say, a JOB.

Oh, there's a catch. They're looking for Native Speakers (yet again). Those white-skinned people (because the blacks get discriminated) with a degree, from US, Canada, UK, New Zealand, Australia, and... could it be... IRELAND??? The people holding the WORST accent when it comes to speaking english? The people we can't understand A THING when they try and start up a conversation? Really? is there such a thing as an articulate Irish? And these employers would prefer them from Educated Speakers... sad reality for me.

So now i'm being biased.. maybe there is such a thing as an articulate Irish. I'll try and meet them as soon as they land here. Just to prove me wrong.

Yesterday i had lunch with the mother of my last student. Sort of "thank you" for enduring her kids for about four months. She told me that i can get a job, it's hiring season. The elementary schools are searching for highly competent teachers. "Jenny" was the name she mentioned, and the woman was teaching Elementary school kids. And since my Korean was not very fluent, i smiled politely, and told her that i am working on getting a job through the net. That's not a lie. I spent three weeks sitting in front of my computer trying to fish. Sadly, i can't even get close to bait. Because i'm not a Native Speaker. It stops when you click the "other" button when it asks of which country. S*N OF A B*TCH!!!

But i haven't stopped yet. I am still trying. Pointless, but there's no harm in doing it. My husband is 34 years old, and the Korean Government is not hiring anybody at their 30's. Since husband's school in the Philippines went bankrupt, we have to find ways onto earning money. After all, we have two kids.

No, i am not giving up. I am at my best when i am working, and my job for about 9 years (since i was 16) was in school, and marketing. I prefer teaching. It's more challenging to challenge brains of people who are desperate to learn this language, even if they're damn lazy.