The Hopefuls

In this post, i am not about to have tact. It's not for the weak, and definitely not for the patriotic.

The women i encountered...

I had to endure two weeks in this place. To have an intelligent conversation is wishful thinking. The place is swarming with matchmaking made in some places. There were three cases that were not: Mine, a 30-something woman who is doing a matchmaking business, and another one who used to work with her now-husband (aka office romance). The others in this place, disliked me heartily. They thought i was showing off by asking questions.

Like i cared.

First day: the first thing that i have noticed is that these women cannot speak English. Some of them can understand Korean better than English, and it was painful to listen to them. I have encountered my share of bad speakers, but this particular group takes the cake. I mean, COME ON! They're all aspiring teachers and they cannot even make a structured sentence! The older woman who used to clean my dorm room five years ago speaks better English than most of these women. My father-in-law, who has no idea when it comes to English speaks BETTER than most of these aspiring teachers.

Never mind the accent. That we can work with.

Much like a high school classroom, you would be able to identify who's who and what's what. The class clown, the eager, the quiet, the diligent, the ones who are there because of the ride, the weirdo (me), and the show offs. There was a woman there who wanted to show off. She was sitting in front and she wanted to make an impression that she is (was) a teacher, she taught high school (i did too), and that she knows what she needs to do.

Till i spoke (bwahahahaha!!). That put her into her place. One thing about reijene is that you can't strut your stuff if it ain't better than hers. Teaching had always been my passion. It's not just something i do for a living. It's something i do with my whole soul poured into. It's not to brandish to the whole world that i am smart. It's not something to boast about. It requires humility, to a T.

Keeping in mind that these were all on the first day. I was planning to shut up and listen (and i failed miserably), but because of that show off parading what she used to be (before marrying her old korean husband) to the whole class, and bringing up archaic and phased out teaching styles, i couldn't resist it.

Anyway...

I was observing these women. I went full blast friendly without them noticing what i was trying to hide (my annoyance about their tastes, for one). They thought i was just a clown. Course some of them would still be called pretentious, but i was able to make the class laugh at my antics.

reijene says... I have a knack of knowing a person just by looking. I don't need to ask questions. My speculations are usually accurate. These girls (I'm not to call them women) are not ambitious enough for anything, but to get married, have kids and get it over with. They're married because... maybe one of these things would be their reason, but I'd go for the most obvious: they want a greener pasture without any effort but their own vaginas. They're there because they need to earn money, they don't have any working experience, and their idiot Korean husbands who cannot speak English had given up on Korean women. But 45% of these women are promising.. very promising indeed. An intensive personality training and they'd be more powerful than i am.

And no, they cannot speak English properly. Some could, but most of them can't. My 6:00 student can speak better than 85% of the class! Not to mention wrong pronunciation of simple words (i.e pear, sheep vs ship or bitch vs beach). Wrong usage of words, wrong sentence formation, wrong grammar terminologies, wrong.. wrong.. WRONG!! Needless to say, i am eating my words: I want us to have jobs, i want the migrant women to have jobs. I want us to compete with the NS society when it comes to teaching. Now i just can't wish for it. Because i really am for quality, not quantity.

How can they compete if they can't even be up to that level? How can they teach without a good command of English? How CAN they teach with their sucky pronunciation and their crappy disposition? WHAT CAN WE SHOW THE ENTIRE NATION other than we can understand English better than Koreans, and yet we cannot even express it?

To be a teacher you have to look and DRESS the part.We can't be teachers with stereotype stamped on our foreheads and dressed like some wrinkled sluts after a night job, or a house maid for that matter.

After hearing (rather reading) the news that SMOE and GEPIK dropped 100 (or more?) NS who were supposed to do a lower level English, and the news that migrant women are about to be placed in schools, or charity cases, or house to house halfway through the course, i felt awful. Awful as i was a jobhunter not too long ago, and i know how it feels to be dropped like a hot potato to make way for someone you think cannot be better than you.

And with those thoughts, my sincerest apologies to the NS society. As much as i hate to admit it, most of these women cannot teach. They cannot do the part. They lack everything necessary to be effective in teaching.

**i just wish this photo was taken in a 180 degree angle, it'd have looked much better! i look like i have cankles, and had added an extra 5 kg to my 47 kg disposition!!!**

Crash Course ENGLISH TEACHER Training Program for migrant wives in Gwangju just ended.

For the first time in my life here in Korea, i have decided to swallow my pride, remove the stick up my ass, and put up with one of the programs the government offers to migrant women. Exactly two weeks ago, down here in Gwangju, a similar program happened.

*edited* she asked for her picture to be removed. this blog had stirred **** itself.

Knowing myself, i have become rather judgmental, but i do it with a fair amount of knowledge, and this time, i can honestly say: KOREA'S GONE MAD.

To start off, this program was in the news a couple weeks ago and i remembered being skeptical with the idea. One: there weren't any details. When the news came out, it only stated that it's for the "benefit and the well being of migrant women in the Korean society" crap. I thought they'd be doing some kind of secretarial, or office management, or clerical crash courses. And it stated: To those who had never had a professional job experience. Okay.. i guess that will not qualify me for a spot. And even if i do, i won't. Seriously, whoever said that working in an environment with 95% of the staff cannot understand a word you're saying is NOT stressful, or is LESS stressful than being a stay-at-home momma, i guess it'd be a matter of opinions, but moi? not unless you're job includes bringing folders to every table, or typing something put on top of your desk and you're basically nonexistent... then why not.

APPARENTLY, the "training course" turned out to be an "English teaching training program" that would be covering the basics of teaching up till HIGH SCHOOL. After experiencing massive rejections from the Korean hagwons, and public schools, even though i already have a job, i have decided to go. Just in case it doesn't work out with Global. Anyway, it stated that it's free. Not to mention, it was going to give us (if we're good enough), a 5-hour job everyday that'd pay 600,000 Won (10 spots); and a recommendation from the establishment itself if we don't get hired after the program. If we were recommended by the institute, it's about 75% sure hire. The remaining 25% would be our effort. If all else fails, one of the instructors would recommend those who won't be able to fish even one.

Moving along...

As all "schooling" goes, there's a deal-breaker: cannot be absent, cannot be late. Be late 3 times, it's equivalent to one absence; be absent three times, and you're not bound to get a cert. Knowing us? Being LATE is a part of our culture, (unbelievably embarrassing). And sure enough, 45% of the class were always late, and it was unnoticed. I did because after work (8 AM), husband and i would drive there, look for a place to have breakfast, and at 9:15, I'd be waiting. The program starts at 10. They gave us coffee and tea with some crackers or fruit at the back of the room, which, would be gone as soon as the women arrived. There were 23 participants including me.

I was kinda looking forward to this program. Why? Being a teacher (sometimes), it's good to be a listener once in a while. It's amazing to be just a part of a class, and not be the speaker. Oh, who am i kidding. Two hours after the program started i was immediately labeled as a show off. I have too many questions, too many answers, too many too much, and the women training us was flustered by what i ask or how i answered. The Korean woman training us was from Korea After School Program (i applied there), which, you can just imagine my excitement. I thought it'd be something innovative, or diverse, different from what i do, or something with a fresher uptake.

I couldn't be more disappointed.

But there were more instructors. One from Gwangju Women's University, another from a kindergarten (i was not listening) but she was amazing with story-telling and crafts, from Chonnam University who had the most helpful topic (two hours, sigh), and more. I really wasn't paying attention much as they're all speaking in Korean, and are trying to help, but they were giving me something that i have already known for a while. Including classroom management. I was excited with lesson planning, as Koreans have a different uptake to it. And they do: it's more tedious than the normal lesson planning.

But basically, that's just it. To me, it had very little input, but i am looking forward to the recommendation that this 50-hour program did. Why?

Just because. (^.^)

At the very last day of this program we did demo classes. As there were 23 participants, and 5 hours of class time, not to mention two instructors who wanted two separate demo classes, we were crunched with time. I prepared four very different, and still related topics. However, as agreed, with the Filipina teacher, we were to do a 10-minute each. With the Korean teacher, we were to do 20-25 minutes, and since time was really not enough, we were grouped, and a demo class with group effort would be done. I was not supposed to do the demo for the Korean instructress, but she pulled me aside and asked...

did you prepare for a demo class?
"yes.." (and started to have yet another sneaking suspicion..)
"i know you would. they're all here to watch you."

HYPERVENTILATING.. HYPERVENTILATING!!! moi? again? i thought i explained to her that i should be giving this chance to someone else? Time and again, when there's supposed to be something that was asked of us to do, like a dummy-demo of how to, the migrant women would clamour for me, and i would (rather sharply) respond that i am not to do it, because they should try it. But sometimes, just for the sake of their improvement, i did. And usually, my style was picked up.

That woman had been vocal from day one that i was the brightest (?) among the group. She called me once or twice to help her with the class, and to explain a bit further what she was trying to say, not to mention bring up the crucial points that she sometimes missed. She gives me intriguing compliments, or insults. SO i had no choice. I had to do the demo class instead of the other member.

"Charismatic" was what i heard (me smiling ear to ear) from the observers.
"Excellent performance" from the instructress.
... and dagger looks from the other groups. LMAO. so sue me.

So there... it's all done. I know i gave it my thousand percent, with my kids as the collateral damage. They have forgotten about me. Two weeks. The first week was barely anything, as i was only trying to catch up with the missed lessons (students absent most of the time), but second week? Monthly level test was coming, and the infos that i needed was given to me on a sturday, with a deadline on tuesday morning, with three abilities to be tested: written, spoken, and grammar. Level test was Wedensday, test results should be given by thursday, and evaluation by friday. On top of preparing for my four demo classes. I barely had time to sleep or eat, let alone watch my kids.

So after all everything? All the activities and things i have prepeared is now at the hands of my four year old, and he loves everything i made. And this weekend is dedicated for my two kids, and two kids alone.

But this doesn't end here. A part two, is on a brewing session, and it'd deal with the aspiring teachers.

It really doesn't make much sense, but...

i'm thinking my prejudice had started to subside,

i changed her oil, she changed my life!

After surviving what i believe to be the worst test i could have ever done to myself, i move forward to what I'm hoping to be a brighter future. what i did was something i would bury together with the stick up my ass, and know that from the center of this little place i call home, i have someone who will make sure that my feet would be on the ground.

That said....

We proceed to the second installment of my highly uncaring thoughts.

Arranged marriage. Who and WHY would anybody even try and subject themselves to it?

As defined online, an arranged marriage is a kind of marriage arranged by someone else other than the couple getting married (which, in my opinion, is no better than matchmaking made in wherever). In the olden days, it usually is done by parents to pair their heirs (too rhyme-y?) to ensure their family wealth (somewhere in Europe), to uphold the family honor (China), according to social standing (India), to have babies (Africa), unification of two powerful families (Islam), it could go on and on here, but we should stop it there.

The question that i want to dig is this: why would anybody even dream of it? I get that when Princess Fiona wanted to marry Prince Charming is because she thought she didn't have a choice... along came Shrek. But the point of arranged marriage is usually beyond the two people getting married. They're just puppets to do a task for a brighter (?) future.

My mother, she was almost a part of this arranged marriage. Maybe one of the reasons why she married Dad is because she also didn't want to be subjected to it. I remember the stories, how the man she was supposed to marry came from a very rich Islam family, how her dowry was paid in advance, and three times the amount that was agreed upon, why she was chosen (she has two sisters), and how she escaped...

She did escape, she eloped with my Dad. How romantic... (excuse me while i throw up)

Moving along.... Just like what i did with matchmaking, i went in search of some mail order brides. I went poking, clicking, searching, the works that you do to have a good research....
They're beautiful. No other word for it. Sure there's a possibility that they're all photoshopped, or the infos are tweaked so that they'd be this perfect slim girls with long hair and gorgeous eyes. I don't get WHY.

Gold diggers? No wonder we cannot get past stereotyping.

Love? (excuse me while i throw up again) anybody that beautiful (agency) is sure to have any man drooling.

Dating failures? Who doesn't?

Security reasons? ... again, no wonder the stereotyping wouldn't stop.

Sex? err... wha...?!

whatever gave these girls/women the idea that getting married to a foreigner is an easy task, they should have tried being married first to their own kind.

marriage as i keep on mentioning, is not something to take on lightly. to be a mail-order bride, it's like being a housemaid; paid. And used for sex. If you know someone that after being arranged to marry to a complete stranger, and found it easy, let me know. I'll conduct an interview myself.

meanwhile, excuse me while i brew a fresher idea for my next surge of words.

Now that's just plain WEIRD!

Am i to call these situations inconsistencies, coincidence, planned, or karma is too much of a bitch.

I read my favorite bloggers to jump start my idle brain. They usually have a fresher take of ideas than the normal editorials on the papers. Brian in Jeolla-Namdo posted this entry, stating and i quote:

SMOE cuts tons of Native Speaker English Teacher jobs before start of the
Semester.

I'm not telling you my initial reaction, seeing as i'm trying to change.

Couple weeks ago, news came out that they'd be training foreign wives to be able to work. There were no details on what kind of job. Last week, i received a newsletter, an invitation to have this "crash course" to teach English in Kindergartens, or kids up to high school level.

What's this? What is all this? If you had read my blog before, you're aware about my struggles when it came to jobhunting. 5000 jobs all over the country, and we're not allowed to fish even one, because the main reason: PHILIPPINES. They're not hiring anybody not coming from these "Native Speaking" countries.

Let's add two and three, shall we?

When the job market opened, i was one of the people who diligently searched for jobs. I searched all day, and all night. I searched online, and i did a couple of phone interviews. If i don't mention my motherland, i almost get an interview. If not, i get the "i'm sorry, we have to prioritize... blah blah blah" crap. I saw how the advertisement changed. Same benefits (house, airfare, allowance, insurance, severance pay) on top of their 1.8 million to 3 million Won salaries. It changed drastically everytime. I even remember cursing because i saw the same advertisement on three different sites... and the salary range went from 1.8 (2.2)-2.5-3 million. Eeeew.

And now they're dropping successful applicants? WHY? I don't think they planned it that way. SMOE and EPIK are working with the government, right? And right now, i'm smelling something.

The migrant wives are doing a crash course, i myself included in the program. I'm attending it because i want the certificate that they'd give right after. After being subjected to this "i can't hire you regardless" crap, i am opting to use an alternative: something offered by the government. It might make it easier to have more teaching loads. The people being trained are Filipino Women. No other nationalities. Maybe in some other parts of the country might, but Gwangju certainly has just Philippines. It's done everyday from 10 AM to 4 PM, for two weeks since monday. The crash course.. is really REALLY for anybody without teaching experiences.


reijene hypothesis: i'm not trying to insinuate anything, rather a speculation. The Korean economy, recovering as it may be, is still trying to cut costs, and hiring foreigners from another country will not help. Notice that the teachers who were dropped were on a lower position? I"m guessing, they were not dropped because of over-booking. I think they were dropped to make way for the government project of helping migrant women in korea. Of course, not to add salt to the injury, they had to say they had some "overbooking" issues. But this crash course? The training is really for kids. From kindergarten up to high school.

i screwed up!

just so the title says it so... =)

I'm currently doing this "training program" that was released on the news a couple weeks ago. I said i wouldn't be doing it as i was highly skeptical around the idea. What kind of job would it be? Office? Sales? And the answer (d'oh) came out pretty simpler: They're looking for English teachers again.

After months of jobhunting, rejection letters, apologies from recruitment agencies, phone interviews passed with screeching halts when i mention my motherland: They are now TRAINING migrant wives to teach English to kids; charity cases, man to man session, kindergarten, middle schools and high schoolers as our main market. We have decided after receiving the newsletter that i should go and do it. I mean, they're going to give a certificate after 10 days (now running 7) so we'd be able to teach.

SO comes with this opportunity, the idea of meeting other wives is a pickle. I mean, i still have that stick up my ass, and i was about to enter an even bigger circle wherein my prejudice can and would probably spin out of control.

It also will give me access and an even bigger idea about the people, the reasons, the what-nots, of this inter-racial marriage, not to mention, be able to help those in need.


The ones who were about to take this "training program" are Filipino women. what a surprise. No other country people. I could only assume that it is because most of the other Asian wives cannot really speak english. Sure i have met a Vietnamese woman, and she can barely speak English, but she has a good understanding ability even if she could barely create a perfect sentence... But she's working. Teaching English too. Oh, great! Mediocre to the point of bad and she has a job? Even my husband scorned at the idea!


just wait...

If HE has a POLE, and SHE has a HOLE, they could get married, right?

Is there a proper answer to that question?

One common reason people get married is because of moral value: Legal sex. We were all raised to understand that pre-marital sex is not allowed, and that it's dishonorable to engage in such. We were made to believe in the value of virginity. Of course, boys have something different, but with girls, we were told to wait. That sex is not done in haste.

Three rules:
1. Play hard to get.
2. Don't give the guy money, nor pay for his expenses.
3. Don't sleep with until the time is right.

These are the unwritten rules girls are made to believe, but i don't think everybody knew these. As for me? I only followed rule number 2. I had a rule of test driving, because an adult relationship is never without sex. I have heard of "girls waiting" for that magical night, until, a persuasive boy comes along, or her friends teasing her about it.... There goes her chastity! Precious few actually was able to resist that pressure.

This pre-marital sex thing is still a huge issue. But i know it's irrelevant to what i want to talk about. I'm going to dig inside this "matchmaking" marriages.

We start with matchmaking. I have encountered dating sites, and i believe it's for people who want to "date" and have partners to go to movies, do a fuck fest, emotional support, the usual blah of dating. Not that I'm against it. I believe in honest to goodness SEE ME and decide. You like me, i like you, we go test drive. Then pick it up from there.

I'm not from a matchmaking made in the Philippines. My husband was really my student. His schedule with me was 3-5 PM on his first 2 months, and 1-3 PM on his last two months. He requested for me.

I didn't marry him because i wanted to. I love him, all my soul, but it was the right thing to do. I was pregnant and I do not want my son to be labled. We agreed to get married. He did not propose, and it was me who chose and bought our engagement ring (now missing). I worked my way around the idea, and i only wanted a signed paper. He did everything i asked him to do. And there's one thing on this agreement: we're growing old together.


After my parents disowned me (now running four years solid), we went to Korea where husband's parents threw him a wedding. I had to agree. He's first born of the first born patriarch. WE agreed to get married, it's mutual, so i had to respect his culture. That is our wedding ring: platinum encrusted diamond in a white gold band (i'm allergic to yellow gold). I only wore that a couple times. =)

To be fair, i went and checked out a matchmaking agency. I went looking around at women, Filipino women in particular (I'm bi, i can differentiate pretty and not). I looked at their profiles, and i have to admit i am nauseated. I chose a category nearer to me: Same age group/generation, same height and weight, different religious backgrounds. What does it take to be in a matchmaking agency? I saw their pictures are taken in a similar fashion... sexy clothing but not too revealing, photo make-up, hair to look natural but obviously styled. In short, it was a photo shoot to make maximum impact to any guy who would look...

They're not that bad-looking. Some are even cuter than normal, and some are just plain GORgeous. But what, and i mean WHAT kind of urge do these women have to sign up for such things?

Financial security? I get that even as an undergrad i had a career and i had job offers; and not all girls/women have that. Call me lucky.

True love? How can you say that it's love when you haven't even seen the guy? That the guy is courting through an online site? The complications of love is another matter, but it's not really rocket science: IT'S NOT LOVE IF YOU HAVE NOT SEEN THE OTHER'S FLAWS. Will you still love the guy even if he had started verbally abusing you? Had started hitting? Had shared you with his friends? Had belittled your personality and insulted your intelligence EVEN if he holds your hand? Even if he looks presentable, an abuser knows how to hide.
Men who have secrets? They won't tell you that they have a problem till you're in there and it's too late.

You want to get married? So there goes the true love issue again. Or is it just because of the word marriage?

Job opportunities? You don't have to get married to any country national to get a job. Us Filipinos are known for those things. We work abroad, regardless of what job. Sure it's like passing through a needle hole, but what job interview doesn't?

To send money home and help your family get a better life? Seriously? I know that not everybody had good financial status (i'm cheap, ignore me) and that they want to help their parents have a better life. But at the risk of your vagina? (too vulgar?) I'm getting worked up here.

To have sex? I don't think so. Is there anybody from a matchmaking made somewhere in it for sex?

Change of citizenship? THAT?? No, no, no, no, no. Philippines, bad as the country can get, the economy in trash, you're still a part of it. Nothing, but the name of your country will change, but physically, mentally, almost everything, except country... YOU'RE A FILIPINO.

Ang hindi magmahal sa sariling wika ay mas malansa pa sa mabahong isda.

Translated: He who does not love his own language has a much worse stench than a rotting fish. Familiar?

IN matters of love: WOMEN do not fall in love at first sight. MEN do.
And men could get pretty creative and pursuasive. What women hold is the power to resist.

reijene blues: I really am part of a minority: powerful women. I have a pet project, working my way around it, and this is my hidden agenda: EMPOWER girls that they are better than they think.

next in line: arranged marriage.