The softer side of me: DRAMA-QUEEN!

The Bitch is Back.

2012-01-17T19:34:00.003+09:00

Hold on to your seats, ladies. The bitch is back.

I found myself with a new job (yay!) with better pay and shorter distance to where i live. My boss is nicer than expected, although the job is as challenging as ever.

But i think that was the reputation i built: i became known as the non-native teacher/ disciplinarian, adapting the American style of punishment (aka writing) together with my own. Corporal punishment is not acceptable even if the kids are starting to run amok with knives and guns at hand.

This woman had just found a new research material: Korean Kids with their low self esteem, and bullying.

watch out, people. the posts will just come out.

The Controversial Rubber Jelly Bracelet

2010-09-11T21:14:00.004+09:00

I'm sure if you live in Korea you've seen this worn by elementary school kids a couple months back. It was BIG. Madonna wore it. My favorite pop singer Pink wore it. Course the years passed and now it's within everybody's reach. Everybody had it. UNTIL an idiot from somewhere decided that it has some sexual connotations. Something like...

Black - the wearer will have regular "missionary" sex
Blue - indicates oral sex performed on a guy
Clear - indicates a willingness to do anything the snapper wants
Green - indicates that oral sex can be performed on a girl
Glittery Blue - is willing to perform anal sex
Glittery Clear - wearer will let the snappee "feel up" or touch any body part
Glittery Green - the wearer is willing to "69"
Glittery Pink - willing to "flash" a body part
Glittery Purple - willing to French kiss
Glittery Yellow - indicates kissing and hugging is acceptable
Yellow - wearer is willing to hug
Pink - wearer is willing to give a hickey
Orange - wearer is willing to kiss
Purple - wearer is willing to kiss a partner of either sex
Red - wearer is willing to perform a lap dance
White - wearer will flash what they have

The original purpose of these rubber jelly bracelets is for a cancer research. The simple design was created by an athlete named Lance Armstrong who is a cancer survivor himself, and the money that he was able to raise he donated to help fund a CANCER RESEARCH. But the bracelet got caught in the mainstream, and it became so popular it raised millions of dollars.

And since cancer is still not an easy disease to fight, and a cure is certainly not within the reach of mankind, these bracelets are helping fund a facility in order for out lives to get better.

Tsk, a person is smart, he will think. But people are dumb and panicky... and they just loove jumping on bandwagons.

Here's the link for those naive idiots who just jump on bandwagons.

Oh, i'm wearing black, simply because i ONLY wear black. And i don't care.

A Series of Unfortunate Events

2010-07-20T14:45:00.004+09:00

So, excuse my blog for being idle. For one, my recent research isn't related to anything social, rather educational. Soon as it's finished, i'd probably be back blogging about the nonsense of the world.

I am rather superstitious, but not to an extent. I really don't mind luck if it's along my way or not, but after about three weeks of nothing but UNFORTUNATE EVENTS, i came into a conclusion: it really isn't my luckiest times.

I now take the public transportation every morning. My husband's job is now in the mornings (from evenings) so he drops me at school and then leaves for the office. It's tough facing the rush hour.

From the most recent events...

An old woman (Ajumma) snapped at me (an understatement as it was humiliating) this morning. While i was waiting for the normal bus i take to go home after my morning class, she asked me WHICH BUS will go downtown. I'm fairly new when it comes to taking public transportation. I take the same bus all the time, and i know that it is the fastest route. I STILL don't know how to go to any point of Gwangju by bus without specific instructions.

She (Ajumma) was annoyed upset or whatever while telling me why the hell don't i have any idea how (With dagger looks and all)... *sigh*

This morning, while walking to the bus stop, i fell, and found my body FLAT on the road. There was a hole that i oversaw and landed exactly on my heel, and as we know balance will not be a friend when you're not expecting a hole...

I have scrapes on both knees, and a clot on my palm to show. It kinda looks funny in my head, but i really don't find any humor in it.

... which made me miss the bus, and had to wait ten minutes more.

For a week, I have been waking at 5 AM everyday... and i leave at 5:30!! I have to do everything in 5 minutes, bath in 10, and hair and make up in another 10. *sigh* i cannot hear my alarm.

I usually wear 8-11 cm heels. One night, when my husband wasn't able to pick me up from work, i had to take the bus again. There was this girl, she held out her leg, i almost tripped. I cursed, but what can i do? Thank Goodness i didn't trip.

That same night, the bus ALMOST left me. i was right in front of the door and the driver shut it close!! what a %*^$+@!!!! The same night i lost my bus card. The following morning, i was scrambling to buy a new one because if not, i'd be paying four times the usual amount without a bus card. i ended up paying half because all the stores around this friggin neighborhood didn't have bus cards. I went home, and found one near our residence.

My umbrella was raining from the inside. I have an umbrella. It's quite new, but last week, when it was raining cats and dogs, my umbrella rained from the inside. And just when i was about to get on the bus, the girl in front of my decided to shake the water of her umbrella.. SHOWERING ME MORE with rainwater! I was drenched, and my glasses were splattered, and i still had to pay for my bus fare. When i looked up she disappeared from the crowd, as the bus was full. Soaking wet and standing, i had to wait before i was able to wipe off water from my glasses.

Soon as i get into the office i found out that the teachers will have dinner together, and i wasn't informed. I didn't join. I wasn't equipped for a night of socializing.

You think it ends here? It has more!! And all of it in a span of three weeks, including a student who invited us for dinner and stood us up! *sigh*

CAn this week get even worse? Did you have a good week? Feel free to share so that i'd know my luck is with someone else.

Oh, ignore me... ^.^

2010-05-16T23:13:00.002+09:00

i was actually working on a new post... entitled, to lust or not to lust, but then my music changed from my normal oldies and pop to OPM.

Excuse me, i'd rather sing. =)

it's been a while since i actually sang in my native language... AND BY GAWD it feels darn good!!!

To Lust, or not to Lust? Does it really matter?

2010-05-10T22:51:00.004+09:00

Warning: Not a research, just a mere point of view. Experience had taught me there are too many idiots out here, so react violently, you're an even bigger idiot than me.

My routine these days are complicated by my work schedules. It is impossible to get a life, it's a career. My children are growing up with the idea that momma is the one going out during the day and working, and their father goes out evenings instead.

PG 19 (in Korea, at least)

You get my drift? Being married for almost five years to the same man, it is not normal to not even look to the other side of the fence. Acting on it is almost unforgivable. Although there are certain degrees on how far it could go. (And suddenly, i am typing with tact?)

One of the reasons why i am wodering is this new series that is currently shown: I think it is entitled Spartacus. It just started last week, and i watched a fair number of episodes within the week. How Romans acted on their lust; the women buying gladiators for extra-marital affairs, taking all precautionary measures to ensure that their husbands will not get a whiff of what they're up to. The men desiring "slaves" even when their wives are watching. Strange.. i was watching polygamy on TV, and all i can think about is: So where did monogamy come from? If from the olden days, most men had a couple of wives, then why did people suddenly choose to become monogamous? Even the people from the time of Jesus Christ weren't exactly practicing fidelity.

Me being filled with questions? It means i will be looking for answers. Soon as time permits me, i know i would be sitting here in front of my computer, looking up some facts i could dig from the internet, because i know i am curious.

Last week, my husband asked me if i were sleeping with another man. You can imagine my shock as one: NO I HAVENT.

two: WHERE THE f**k DID HE GET THE IDEA?

and three: HOW THE HELL AM I GOING TO MANAGE THAT ONE, WITH MY HECTIC SCHEDULE AND PICKS ME UP FROM SCHOOL EVERYDAY?

Maybe i am monogamous, maybe i am polygamous, i don't know. All i am sure is that i don't want to share.

okay.. okay.. too much information. i found myself intrigued... sleepy, and panicking with the amount of work i have to finish.

Au revior till we meet again.

Welcome to my page.

2010-01-18T18:54:00.004+09:00

LOL.

i'm trying to think of something clever to write, but all i could think about is that it's too late to greet everybody a happy new year. i hope y'all celebrated it properly.

I'm hoping to get an epiphany, and somehow, when my inspiration kicked in, instead of finishing my latest research/post, i went editing my manager's memo for the whole teaching staff (LOL). She's Korean, and she needed help with writing, and she doesn't want to ask the other teachers because they also suck in writing.

I am having some serious issues with another teacher in school, simply because she's acting like a prima donna and competely ignoring the full essence of working together. And i just can't shake the feeling that i can't trust her. i don't really trust anybody, but with her i get something like an extreme dislike. She's friendly, shows a good personality, but still not enough.

enlighten me if i'm just being unreasonable again.

Merry Christmas Y'all!

2009-12-24T06:33:00.002+09:00

need i say anything else? (kidding, kidding)

for five years i have hated this season. it's full of memories, nostalgic scents and tastes, not to mention, the weather makes it feel christmasy. like the smell of cinnamon and apples are stuck on the air.

then 2003 music genre is being played, which makes me even more sentimental.

remind me to go dancing tonight to shake all these off.

but for the rest of you out there, i hope this season's holiday may bring you joy and happy memories to cherish. moi? i'd try looking for reasons.

and i wish you all a happy happy christmas and a prosperous (prepostrous? heehee) year ahead.

Fresh Meat

2009-11-26T16:18:00.003+09:00

The bitch is pregnant! My kids will have a new chewtoy soon... *evil grin*

Out of Control Hormones+irritation+massive frustration equals an unbalanced formula for a disaster.

2009-11-22T00:27:00.002+09:00

And yes i was talking about my last post.

My apologies to the women who changed their nationalities because they want to. I still dislike the idea, but i don't care about your reasons. Ergo, i removed the last post.

I hope i never meet you because i will give a certain amount of disgust.

English Teachers from India?

2009-11-15T12:42:00.004+09:00

I have read this news earlier this week, through Brian Deutch's blog... and it raised my eyebrows. Nothing against their race, their accent, their nationality (as i am highly prejudiced), but rather something else.

I was a job hunter couple months ago, and i gave up. I'm not a native speaker, rather an educated one (popularly known as non-native), and it's a quarter of a needle-hole chance out there. No exaggerations here. When i say it's a needle-hole, it would be for the NS coming from their motherlands and trying to get a spot here (till that overbooking crap from SMOE and EPIK). To compete with them HERE in this land, it's an embarrassing battle. Over any experienced non-native speakers and a fresh grad from ANY University on those Native Speaking countries, they usually choose the fresh grad with no experience.

The reason behind it became clear to me when i started working alongside an NS: They're not after the language NS's can bring to the table... they're after the culture they have. If that person can teach then that's just a plus. There's always a method of teaching, and it's not usually rocket science, classroom management is. And classroom management in Korea is a must to ANY foreign teacher, or the sharks will eat them alive. The children in Korea are not the nicest kids, they're not the most disciplined too, and they certainly are not the most respectful either. But if you can work with them, you're in for a real treat...

About two weeks ago, the NS in school quit. That's the polite term. He flew last week, and i am his sub. The school didn't plan onto hiring someone new, but i mentioned that they had to. I can bring what they need with the language. I can't bring the culture. I have a different one. And as much as i hate to admit it, they're not called an NS for nothing too. Sure they make some crucial mistakes, but that's not the reason why they're here, so i guess i can overlook that one. Somehow, not stewing on my own bile opens up a better perspective for me. And now i can honestly say i can do a live and let live... And the fresh blood will start next month. Whew! Or i am going to grow wrinkles at my age.. (^.~) 8 classes in 9 hours. Where did my dinner time and prep time go? LOL. And that's just Mondays through Wednesadays... because thursdays and fridays i get 10 classes... in 9 hours. (no.. no overtime there). That's why i said.. i realized that they're not really after the knowledge.. they're after the culture. How it would be integrated into the system i am still trying to figure it out. I'm still your oberving madman.

Going back, when i found out that the government is planning to hire Indian Speakers to teach English in public school... I was appalled. And why is it that these people keep on insisting on hiring people OUTSIDE their country? If they are about to hire non-natives to teach, shouldn't they start with the people inside first? Or with the people who had been trying to get in for years? Why open up something new?

Oh, right... the India-Korea trade... that's why. SERIOUSLY? Is Korea really trying so hard to be called a diverse country that they keep on forgetting the people inside and just brings in something new to make them more miserable?

Sure i have my disagreements with Filipino Teachers. Their pronunciation, their command, their unevolving knowledge, even their claim that they CAN speak English too (yes, still the women in the institute). But that doesn't mean they can't change or can't be trained for it. A year's worth of exposure can do wonders.

I also have my skepticism with Vietnamese English teachers. Why? Because unlike Philippines, most of them really can't speak English. To find an English speaker there, it's like speaking to a lower-intermediate English speaker in Korea. But still, it doesn't mean that they can't be trained.

Nah, not going to cross the lines with other nationalities... not yet. It's just that teaching requires a lot of things, and they're not all brain surgery. Common sense is one. Despite the fact that it is a luxury to some people, it is possible to have even a little. And that small amount is good enough to feed so that it'd grow and have a decent density. The rest of it will come as long as they're observant and open enough to admit when they need to change some things.

Still, Indian speakers... i wonder. Their accent is almost British. Maybe that's why Korea will go after them. Not to mention their food. It's one of the most popular things in the world, and Korea's got no beans about it.

And are Koreans going to be nice to them? I guess we'd just have to wait and see, won't we?

heartbreak quotes

2009-11-05T18:13:00.002+09:00

reijene says... sometimes i'm just a sucker for pain. =) enjoy.

Chico's words...
There seems to be an explosion of “emo-ness” in the air. Could it be that 2009 is really a difficult year all-around? Or is there just an over-abundance of drama in our lives? So it’s perfect to post this popular topic today. So for those in the mood, swim it it!

February 3, 2009 → The Top Ten Heartbreak Quotes – Astroboy, Oscar Dela Hopia, Specialist

Rusher Loparigno – “Sometimes the greatest enemy of our present happiness is the past happiness that is too well remembered.”

Aurae - “Why ruin the perfectly beautiful petals of a flower when you know from the start…that he loves you not.”

Aurae - “We know little about pain and regret — except that it is soluble in alcohol.”

Archiemon/Ivan - M. Kathleen Casey: “Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional.”

Rhapsody – From the TV show House: “You left her because you want to be miserable.
Miserable will not make you special. It will just make you miserable.”

Vi – “In love, what matters is not your success, but your significance.”

Maomao – Peter Parker: “What’s even more painful than being abandoned, is knowing that you’re not even worth an explanation.”

Lea – “I cried today not because I miss you, but because I finally realized I’m going to be alright without you.”

RC and Cess – “Break-ups occur when an unstoppable force collides with an immovable object.”

Sophie – “I’d rather be healthy alone, than sick with someone else.”

Bards – “Sometimes, you just have to put a period on something that has to end, and not settle for a comma.”

Benargirl/Candies - “Trying to forget someone you loved is like trying to remember someone you never knew.”

Glenskie – “6 billion people in the world, and all you need is one.”

Breise/Shall/Natalie – “When you left me, I was the one who loved you more. But between us, you lost more. Because someday, I can find someone I can love the way I loved you. But you will never find another who will love you the way I did.”

Charmville - “Love and death are two uninvited guests. Nobody knows when they come, but both do the same work. One takes the heart and the other takes it’s beat.

Maalindog na Paruparu – “Should I die of a broken heart, tell him it isn’t because he loved me too little, but because I loved him too much.”

Gudeve – “Everyone says love hurts. Love doesn’t hurt. Loneliness hurts, rejection hurts, envy hurts…but not love.”

No name – “Hearts are often broken with words left unspoken.”

Phipay Phapot – “We don’t eat what we’ve thrown up.”

Pulanglangit – “After a break-up, we mourn not for what we’ve lost, but for what’s left of it.”

No name – “Love is giving him the power to destroy you, but trusting him not to.”

No name – “Nothing in this world is permanent. You just have to love it while you have it.”

No name – “They say people come and go, but the truth is, no one really disappears from your life. People never really leave…their roles just change.”

No name – “Love can make us inseparable, but it can also reduce us to two people trying to forget each other.”

B – “Love is a 4-letter word for: ‘Here’s my heart and soul, please grind them into a hamburger and enjoy!’”

Lesh/Temptress26 – “Sometimes you can’t let go of the hurt, because it’s all that’s left of the greatest love story you never thought would end.”

Eien17 – “Love is one game you lose, by refusing to play.”

Joanna/Astroboy – “Being brokenhearted is like having a broken pair of ribs: on the outside it looks like there’s nothng wrong. But what no one knows is that every single breath hurts.”

Bibimpop – “It’s impossible to find someone who won’t make you cry. So instead, look for someone who will be worth the tears.”

Ash – “It took years to find you, but only a heartbeat to lose you.”

Dementia – “You cannot judge how I choose to fix what you broke.”

Eien17 – “The hardest part of saying goodbye, is having to do it all over again every single day.”

TReiz – “Someday I will find a person who fits me so well and so completely that I will forget all my previous heartbreaks. But today is not that day.”

Buck – “Meant for each other, does not always mean, meant to last.”

Ken – Celia Rodriguez: “You don’t move on from the pain. You get used to it.”

No name – “The most difficult times are mornings, knowing that the man of your dreams is waking up with the wrong woman.”

Yen - “When giving up is less painful than holding on, then it is time to let go.”

Archiemon - “You love to hate the one who loves the one you hate to love.”

Monogamy or Polygamy?

2009-11-01T23:32:00.003+09:00

Monogamy

It is defined as marriage with only one person. In the society, one is expected to stay with that one person for better or for worse, in sickeness and in health, (or the usual litany).

Polygamy

Defined as having more than one spouse. This one raises a lot of eyebrows, not to mentioned being frowned upon the society.

And there is one more issue with marriages that i unexpectedly found: infidelity.

If i were your typical woman, and i married a Korean man, i would have been divorced by now. Korean men are sweet, that much is a given, but not after getting married. They tend to be just that: husbands. They don't give much affection, they don't praise, they don't say anything, much less try and make you feel better. (no, not complaining about my husband)

While trying to find more materials with my usual research, i came across this issue. Married men looking for a "girlfriend" somewhere, anywhere. I asked (yeah, still no inhibitions here) why they would do that, even after marriage.

"Just for fun."

And that poses danger. A single woman to be tangled with a married man is not a very good idea. It's not even socially acceptable. Call me a prude, but i would recommend fishing the bachelors than fishing the pond of married men. However, infidelity works both ways.. even married women tend to go out and have some extra fun. But usually, in their case, they tend to be caught in a tangled emotional web. Apathy is not something that works well with women who have sex... (as far as my observation goes.)

Inhibitions are what usually hold back single men and women. They tend to focus on what is socially acceptable. Infidels just go. They have fun. They usually have no strings attached, and the married men can usually lure girls (and women) better than bachelors. I've seen a very unfortunate-looking man bragging about a mistress he has.

But what is defined as infidelity?

The most obvious on the mark is physical intimacy: sex. Having sex with another partner is considered infidelity. So that makes it all out... but what about making out? or a blowjob or munching grasses? or simply groping another person? is that considered cheating? or just rules made by the society?

There's a dark secret in the Filipino community in Korea. First fact is that it is very difficult to get a visa here. Unless marrying a Korean National or has a relative (married to a Korean), then chances of getting here is very good. If not... it's a needlehole.. so you'd see mostly women.

There are very few Filipino men here who has a clear status. But some of them are here and they are mastresses of some Filipina women married to Korean men. And we can't blame them. I just stated a few facts about Korean men. Make it twice as difficult when the couple cannot really converse. Make it more disgusting when the woman has a hidden agenda (like wanting to own a language school, or buying her own property in the Philippines, and discarding their husbands along the way)...

There is another form of infidelity, and that is being emotionally intimate. When a man is talking to another woman (not his wife) about his secrets, his hopes, his dreams, his frustrations, the works. When a woman speaks of her innermost thoughts to any man.. (so i guess that makes me an infidel?!) HOLD IT. no defense... i have no inhibitions. =)

So what constitutes infidelity? Lack of emotional support? Lack of physical intimacy? or just a feel. An adrenaline rush to married men? experiment? coincidence? persistency? attraction?

Or maybe i should find more answers before pursuing through...

expect a continuation.

So here goes my distraction...

2009-10-31T16:33:00.004+09:00

My son is sick. He was brought to the ER early this morning because his fever had reached 40 Degrees. He went back home at 9 AM. Two hours later, he started boiling again.

Then his grandfather's driving me crazy. He was blaming me for not being here yesterday (i was at work) to open the gates. If he hadn't arrived what would have happened?

My excuse?

Grandmother said she will pick up Squirt. That alone i trusted. Then it's my effing fault? Son of a gun..

So for the whole afternoon today, he just won't shut up. My son's sick, we should rush again to the hospital (the doctor's instructions were to WAIT)... Squirt is sick, i should be panicking out of my wit's end... My son's is sick so i should be blah blah blah... i don't know. I'm not Korean.

There's more. Nephew was also in the hospital last week too. Grandfather told me that i'm a very bad person! The boy was sick and i didn't even bother to check on him.

I told him i had no time.

He said i could have nipped some time after working....

Does he even know what he's talking about? I finish at 9, i'm home at 9:30. Dinner. Prep for AM classes. I wake up at 4 AM for Pete's sake! Or maybe he was talking about my morning classes...

Is he insane? Husband needed to sleep after working FOR HIM, and driving me in the mornings (and wait till i finish). I swear to God, i need to get away from that man. If he was talking about the time in between... oh, right! I know how to take the bus (insert massive sarcasm here) because in this household, everybody has a car. They all drive me whereever i go. And that includes him. SO yeah, i know how to take the damn bus.

There's another reason... why would i? That boy's mother NEVER did those. My kids, when they were in the hospital, nobody visits. Just their grandfather. When i had surgery, when i was diagnosed and confined in the hospital because the doctor suspected meningitis (it was sinusitis), and when my kids were born? One rule i live by: don't do unto others... she wouldn't? Then i won't.

Not to mention: she's a bitch! I love holidays when i can boss her around and make her wash the dishes, when i show off that she's a lousy helper (when we're cooking). She asked for my children's rocker, when her son's the same age as my daughter... which means we need it. She asked for my children's car seat (to grandmother) for her son (which grandma agreed on) because SHE said we wouldn't be needing it. Again.. our kids: SAME AGE. Now my daughter needs a car seat because she HATES sitting on anybody's lap. Now she's asking for our STROLLER. She already has two.. and she's asking ours because she wants to gIve it away to her sister who also had a baby.... SAY WHAT?!

so that's a no.

About an hour ago, grandfather wouldn't stop rambling that my son needs to go to the hospital again. Fever is at 38.6 Degrees, and waiting for his meds to kick in. I can't leave, my daughter's sleeping. Soon as she wakes up, we'd go. But since grandfather's really a huge pain in my tushie, he called grandmother who was outside, to pick her up, and take my son to the hospital again.

Did i mention grandfather's expecting me to panic out of my wit's end? Because panic with me only shows when i'm lost. If my kids are involved you won't see me lose my head...

i forgot: the reason why Squirt is sick: sore throat.

My first day

2009-10-30T22:38:00.009+09:00

in one word: OVERWHELMING.

and in another word: EXCITING!!

I got hold of Cornerstone's teacher's manual. I have been itching to get a hold of this book. Online it had a preview and i found it amazing... and also amazingly expensive (yeah? i'm a momma!) so i can't just get it.

I have started to read it, but somehow my ADD kicked in so i needed a distraction, and i need to rid me of some nasty thoughts. So here goes....

My colleague almost got the boot. His classes weren't working in the children's department. Somehow, his job was given to me. And my job was given to him except my early mornings. Since i am handling the prep class before moving to the NS class, i have decided to push all my student to his class. I know they're ready to do his classes, but they're all afraid (He doesn't bite!). Being their teacher it's my job to push them, and somehow, i was happy with this transition. There's a good chance that the school will open another adult session with my colleague to handle. I overbooked his classes.

And i was in his classroom, the one that i would be using to teach kids. It was a mess, so we had to clear it all out, and i must say: i have never seen so much wasted paper. =P nah... course i have. And that i have seen the efforts made, which i knew, from glimpse, that those will never work. It missed a couple of things, and while clearing up, i got a preview of what i would be handling, and what i need to do.

However, here is the overwhelming part: I AM HANDLING ALL CHILDREN'S CLASSES. Other than my own regular students, once a week, i would be handling the Korean teachers' classes. I am to "do" a conversation with them.. ALL OF THEM!! I am going to take every children's class lesson plans and PLAN for that once a week conversation, which would also mean that the topic i am to do should be related to their lesson for that particular WEEK.

Good God, what have i gotten myself into...

Oh, i forgot to mention this: The cornerstone manual is amazing. Not doing an ad, just telling you that this book, in case you're teaching privately, is a good investment. The teacher's manual costs about 100,000 Won with Cd, and the Children's manual costs about 50,000 Won. And it's all worth it.

bored with nothing... top ten again.

2009-10-29T23:30:00.003+09:00

...for the coming Halloween weekend.
February 2, 2009 → The Top Ten Signs That You’re Going To Hell – SC

Greg – If all the girls you’ve “been with” screams: “Demonyo ka, ang sarrraaaaaaap!!!”

Blitzen – If you’re bitching about the hot weather and and old woman hisses at you: “Masanay ka na…mas mainit sa pupuntahan mo…”

SC – If everytime you try to enter a church, the guard tells you: “Sori ma’am, bawal po pumasok ang mga spawn of Satan.”

No name – Pag nag-asawa ka, ang asawa mo dala ang langit, ang biyenan mo dala ang impiyerno.
Espeks – Everytime you kill anything, you feel a pat on your back and a soft whisper tells you: “Job well done…”

Specialist – Everytime you do something abhorrently evil, you feel warm and fuzzy inside.

Cheyenne – If you’re “horny” and you use your long hard “tail” to bitchslap your women.

Paolo – You’re going to hell if ang favorite mong sapastos ay…high hells. (har har.)

Doc Rod – If your corpse won’t burn in the crematorium.

Cutepasaway – If someone asks you who your favorite angel is, and you answer: “Lucifer”.

Acer – I’m probably going to hell because the concept of heaven and hell that society insists on freaks me out.

TwistedSaint – If everytime you watch a horror movie like “The Exorcist” or “The Omen”, you find yourself rooting for the devil.

Cutepasaway – If every now and then, small demon-like creatures enter your room, salute you, then say: “Reporting for duty, master…”

Loi Pogi – Pag lagi kang dine-demonyo ng kapitbahay mong bading.

Buck/Hayud – If you’re a politician.

Ed/Juno – Every single day without you is a living hell.

No name – I’m Born Again Christian but I have 4 girlfriends who don’t know I’m four-timing them. I’m going straight to hell.

Dru – You don’t see the point of even trying to resist temptation.

Argento/Garfield – If your mom texts you: “Anak sori na me, pero binenta me ang kaluluwa u kay s8an para may pambayad me ng utang. K? Txt-txt!”

GaylYashie – Dante Allighieri: “The darkest places in hell are reserved for those who maintain their neutrality in the midst of moral crisis.”

oooh scary!!! LOL

2009-10-21T18:03:00.003+09:00

REIJENE'S NOTE: this one came from Chico's blog, and now that it's fast approaching halloween, the scary stories are coming out. Unique within each and every one of us. I'm sure you have one. After these entries, scare me...

IF YOU CAN.

I’ve always been a scaredy-cat. I’ve always been less scared of robbers than I was of supernatural beings. You can kill a man, but you can’t kill a ghost or a vampire or a demon or an aswang. Well at least that was my logic as a kid. I’m glad we never had a “haunted” house, or at least one that we think was haunted. I guess that’s why I had such a fascination with horror movies when I grew up, it was some kind of masochistic pleasure to scare myself silly.

January 29, 2009 → The Top Ten Signs That Your House Is Haunted

Jeanel – In our house in the province, my brother walk by, said goodbye, then walked out the front door, the only door in or out of the house. A few minutes after, my brother walk by again, said goodbye again, then walked out the front door AGAIN.

Noel – Once our choir was recording our song for a cd project. When it was the sopranos’ turn, they went into the small booth and sang into mike. When they played back the track, there was a distinct extra voice singing with them.

Banatero – In our old house, time and again I’d be awakened by 3 loud knocks on my bedroom door. I’d open it, and no one would be there. And when I check the clock, it’s always 3am.

Awsom – Nung nag-iinuman kami sa house ng friend namin, tuwing tatawa kami, may madidinig kaming boses ng bata na nakikitawa sa amin.

No name – Two years ago my dad was deathly sick. During that time, my nephew (brother’s son) would always be awakened at night, around 3-4am, by a small black creature saying, “pagagalingin ko lolo mo, pero sasama ka sa akin…“

The Temptress – I sleep wearing only my undies, with the clothes I’ll wear the next day beside my bed. One night after sleeping, I woke up after 4 hours fully dressed.

Neil – My cousin is driving somewhere in Angeles when he passed by a hospital in a remote area. Then he heard a loud distinct yawn from the backseat. He was alone in the car.

Specialist – In the dorm I lived in back in collage, I’d see silhouettes of people walking around, reflected on shiny surfaces.

SC – My sister is a nurse at a popular hospital. She heard stories about a child that appears at a certain operating room. And they say when this child appears, the one being operated on, will die.

Miah – This happened to our friend who was in Canada then. He was chatting with his fiancee via the webcam when she asked him who was the lady who was with him in his room. He freaked out because he was alone, so he ran out of his house.

No name – My friend was recording her voice on her cellphone while in Baguio. When she played it back, there was a voice in the background pleading, “tulungan mo ko…“

Simon Walker – One time our kasambahay told me she sees a white lady in my room. I joked, “sabunutan ko pa yun eh!” The next morning, I woke up with scratches on my face.

Ilyang – Our lola owned a dresser that we kept in our house. Housemaids who would tell us that they’s see our lola inside the mirror of the dresser, eventually were proven to be thieves. It’s as if our lola is warning us. So now, the moment a maid says she sees our lola, we let her go, no questions asked.

No name – There’s a little girl who’d knock on my door from 3am to 3:15am. I just leave her alone, then she eventually stops after 15 minutes.

AssumptionistLalala - Anak: “Tay, totoo po bang may multo?” Tatay: “Anak walang multo! Bakit mo natanong?” Anak: “Sabi kasi ni yaya may multo raw!” Tatay: “Anak, mag-impake ka na. Langya ka, wala tayong yaya!”

Louise - An officemate who went to HK on a business trip stayed in this decent motel. One time, while she boarded a lift, the lift stopped midway between floors, the lights fluctuated and the buttons became pure Chinese characters.

Specialist – Every after taking a bath, steam forms on the mirror with a message, “I can see you…”

Annepotpot – Me and my officemates had a sleepover, and in the middle of the night, all the members of our team woke up gasping for air. We all had the same dream: that someone was suffocating us with our pillow.

Ray – My friend’s 4-year-old son was playing in his room when the kid told him, “can you watch over my playmate?” He freaked out and asked, “What playmate?” His kid told him, “that black kid beside you.”

Eric – In a boarding house in Calumpit, the owner warned us not to mess around with the room at the end of the corridor. One night, our friend got too curious and peeked inside the keyhole. All he saw was red. The next morning he couldn’t resist so he asked the owner why the “secret” room was red. She stood up, led us to the room and opened the door. It was all white. She said her daughter died there with her eyes open, all red. When our friend was peeking in, her daughter was probably peeking out at the same time.

Korean Kids: When does "Good Nature" start?

2009-10-19T12:19:00.008+09:00

Now this concern had been bugging me for quite a while. While most foreigners are amazed with how Korean people treat their elders with so much respect, how families always come first, how the disabled and the pregnant women get seats in the subway and the buses; it amazes me how Korean children seem to not know these simple manners.

From The Metropolitician (through Kushibo), i just got another confirmation of this particular expression:

Just this once.

Situation is very different from the one i am about to vilify.

In case you didn't know, I have two kids. My son is 4, and my daughter is 2. And since we live in a three-generation house, my job had been considerably lightened, and equally tougher. The situation i have here at home might be different from most Korean kids, but as they are being raised in three (3) different parenting styles, i am hardpressed with consistency. There the problems would arise.

My son can get away with murder, and i could just hear the stupid reasons in Korea:

1. He's just a kid, let it go.
2. Just this once.

If we were in another country, it would be the parent's fault. The apple doesn't fall far from the tree. Or what had this boy's parents been done over the years and they didn't see this one coming? Does this kid have parents? The typical castigation when a KID IS A SPOILED BRAT, is ACTING OUT and is ROTTEN TO THE CORE.

Here goes...

Earlier this month i was offered a full-time post. The job is teaching children aged 7-17. No details yet, as the director can't really speak English (surprised?) and i am being subjected to a test by my academic coordinator: handling kids in my adult classes.

Five reasons why you can't mix kids with adults.

* The degree of conversation is different, regardless if their levels were the same.

** The ideas that are being thrown with kids are mostly conditionals and speculations. Do it with adults and you're screwed.

*** The curriculum approach is not as fun. Children's classes need to be colorful, warm and friendly.

**** Silly jokes VS sarcastic jokes VS PG 19. You have to talk nice with kids.

***** The usual conversation is not appropriate with teenagers.

In short, if you threw colorful jokes when there are high school and middle school students in the class, you'd see the uncomfortable looks and hear nervous laughs from everybody. If you used a material that has a childish approach, the adults will go: "what on earth was she thinking?!" Needless to say, the kids on my adult classes were complaining. Why are my classes always an hour and not 50 minutes? Why do i consider the other students and not just teach when the clock strikes TIME (i usually give a ten-minute leeway for the latecomers)? It's boring (and that's a first to me), and it's not as fun as the adults describe it. The adults on my class are having fun with the silly banter between me and the other high school brat that i have. He keeps on throwing oxymoronic comments or questions mixed with heavy sarcasm that irks me. As a result: i offered the other adults in my class to join my other class with the same level, wherein the amount of learning and fun has an equal amount. I don't know if they will, but I'm hoping that they would.... or my job is on the line because of a couple of brats.

Another teacher in school has the same problems. He's not Korean, so his approach with kids are different, and somehow, we have the same assessment: the kids here are troubled. PSYCHOLOGICALLY.

For all we know, half the students have ADHD, and yet the school keeps on feeding them sweets and sugar-filled snacks. Children are naturally hyped-up power balls, and to sugar-rush them is plain SUICIDAL for our part. (The kids are jumping on the window ledge!!!)

One adult class handled by a Korean teacher had the same problem with a middle schooler. Her complain: the class is too difficult. And she's the ONLY ONE complaining.

Another teacher i know is currently handling elementary school kids and one of her students is acting like a know-it-all because the other kids are not "good enough" to her standards. She complains to her mother, and mother complains to the teacher. Teacher's angry because that student is one of the slowest in the class. I'll tell you how it ends if you want to know.

It's not the first time i have taught kids, or high schoolers. It's not my first time to encounter children in classes, or troubled kids to be under me. But somehow, the "Korean way of thinking" had always gotten under my skin.

"Just this once."

Before accepting the job offer, i had to look around the children's classes. I get the stampede, i get the screaming and running before the bell rings. But i don't get WHY the students had the GUTS to walk out of the class to play in the corridor, or in the computer. HOW they can just go out when they feel like they want a drink, or when they want "fresh air" or something. WHAT disciplinary actions does the school have? A timeout? A detention-like room? Calling their mothers (and that can do what...?)? Apparently, there's no way for us to "discipline" kids who are not following school rules.

No offense to ther parents, but the Korean parenting style seems ridiculous to me. With the Korean way of thinking.

"Just this once."

My son is a well behaved boy... WHEN he's with JUST me. My daughter has the same quality. But when grandfather's around? I see transformation similar to Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde. No exaggeration. Ou discipline methods are soo different worthy of North and South Korea difference.

The Korean kids that i have met, the students under the Korean teachers, the children i saw in the Kindergarten and the playground, somehow had forgotten how to "do" basic manners.

Okay... sure it's okay to share the cookies that we brought in the playground, but WHY ON EARTH would these kids be DRINKING on my children's juice bottles with their mothers watching because i'm the only one with food stuff while playing. I had to wipe their noses while it drips because i'm the only one with wipies (not my job, i know, but i was grossed out!). They're playing with my kids, after all.

Beside the point: i was watching them interact on public. The kids won't even follow their mother. And threats flying left and right, with public spanking. If i were to spank my kids, i'm not to do it in public. It's humiliating.

Toddlers are never easy to control, but i did my job. I can control them, except when their father or their grandparents are around. When they both start to act out, my husband threatens to "call" me. Then they know party's over. I really am their authority figure. However, if i start scolding my son about something REALLY unacceptable after a fair amount of warning, his grandfather comes to the "rescue" and tells me i should not scold my son. I should be talking nicely all the time.

Same goes with Grandma. SO i threw back these questions.

"So i should just watch and ask nicely why he's trying to kill his sister?"

"So he should just spit on the floor?" (was upset, then he spat)
** response to this one: just this once. don't do it next time... and three minutes later he did again, and the same reaction: just this once. (shoot me!!)

"So he should just yell at me because YOU told him that he can?"

FYI: I'm their mother. It's my job to ensure that they will go out to the society with proper upbringing. And the Korean way is not working.

Passing time because...

2009-10-05T15:05:00.004+09:00

i'm scared.

it is kinda weird that the director wanted to see me early today. AN HOUR earlier.

see, even if i do my job well, even though i make my class fun, even though i do everything necessary to keep my class enjoyable, educational, warm and friendly, there's still a good chance that i could get the boot.

sure he told me that i am (currently) the best teacher in the school, and that the students are waiting to get in my class (since last month), and that i have been doing my job diligently (never late!), there are still some inconsistencies with some directors in korea.

in one word: unpredictable.

... so right now.... HYPERVENTILATING!!!!!

UPDATED: The school's offering me a full time job. =) starting next month. Course i'm gonna need to haggle for my salary (benefits and transpo allowance, the works), if not i think i'd rather stick to my four-hour job.

Also, the pressure with time and my kids.. who is going to watch them? Is there a nanny out there?? =P

and jehan.. thanks for the moral support.

From Marmot's Hole...

2009-09-29T23:42:00.002+09:00

an interesting link was passed.

So where did other nationalities go? I have read from someone (a comment) somewhere (a blog) that somehow, it's related to skin color, and that the reason why there's this "Latin Lovers" is because of ther tanned skin tone.

So will it be safe to assume that men from where i came from could be good lovers too? and where did the "yellow skin tone" go? Then what about the Africans, (or related)? What's their excuse?

... ignore me. i am still quite upset that my reasearch is on a dead end. (someone please join me for a DRINK!!)

Pressure: How did it go this far?

2009-09-27T15:16:00.007+09:00

We call him "Riu" in class.

He's a successful man. He's a design engineer from a well-known company (you might be using one of his designs at home).

Needless to say, he has a stable income. He owns his own car, travels when he can, and enjoys the company of his friends and colleagues on a regular basis.

He's quite good looking too. He doesn't smoke (not even once in his life even with military service), drinks occasionally, and over-all? A good guy with good qualities, clean living and the whole whatnots.

There's the catch: he doesn't have a girlfriend. And now his father had given him an ultimatum.
HE HAS TO GET MARRIED BY NEXT YEAR.

Now where to find a bride....

Here comes the next installment of my research in the Korean society: PARENTAL vs CAREER vs SOCIAL PRESSURE.

Poking around the idea of finding an actual boyfriend/girlfriend in this country. Most people that i have asked where they had met their last BF/GF, they answered me this: through blind dates.

One of their friends would invite him/her for a lil get together not knowing there's another one there without a partner. Then hopefully they'd hit off and start going out.

But the modern Korean woman doesn't want a boyfriend, much less to settle down and get married. She wants a career. She wants to buy a new car when she feels like it. She also wants to go travelling on her own without the complications of a man calling every hour to check on her. This kind of woman enjoys fine dining with her circle of friends, wine tasting with her bestfriend, shopping alone, and her weekends spent on her own or with her parents. She likes her own apartment with its neatness, reflecting her tastes and her hobbies. And sometimes, the modern Korean woman prefers the company of a PET than of a man.

So what changed? Years back before "women with careers" actually existed, she is very excited with the idea of getting married and have kids. Nothing too complicated about this one. But the men from before and today are quite the same: careers to stabilize himself in preparation for his "future wife and family".

And with this question i will let this post go public. My research is bigger than i thought. The next part of this particular topic might takle a while before it would have answers. Meanwhile, i will get back to this interracial marriages.

Teacher! She wrote nasty things about me (3rd grade issue!)

2009-09-25T12:57:00.007+09:00

3rd grader: Teacher, teacher! I saw her diary about me. It was pretty nasty. =(

Teacher: what did she say, my pet?

3rd Grader: she said i did very bad in school. I do good, don't i?

Teacher: Of course you did, sweetie.

3rd Grader: She said i'm not good enough. That i can't do this. That she's the ONLY good one here.

Teacher: (mortified) She did not. Did she mention that she's the only good one?

3rd Grader: NO, but she's insinuating it.

Teacher: hmmm... Did she mention me in it?

3rd Grader: Yes ma'am!

Teacher: (with a riased eyebrow) did she say your name in it?

3rd Grader: ... (cannot respond)

There.

After that particular phonecall last friday, this was the only thing i could think about: Third graders arguing about a diary. Then, as every kid goes, she'd go TATTLETALE. Tell the teacher about this diary made. A diary that contained stuffs, about what she was doing, what she was thinking, how she feels, but not naming anybody in particular. Sure there were details, but there would only be three people who can KNOW ABOUT IT: the writer (me), the anonymous target (you), and the teacher.

Course YOU could be the woman in the bus i rode with (she was talking on her phone) after declining the post offered (my student grabbed my boobs! He said it was too big ).

In fairness to the Institute who had hosted this crash course, i would remove their name, and change the particulars to something generalized. I know they meant well, and they did what they think is best. But my entries will remain. It's my BLOG.

The truth hurts.

But it would only hurt the people who recognized themselves in it. If not, they'd just shrug it off, and be the bigger man, or deny what it says. Kids tend to act out. Grown ups talk like adults. To THREATEN with a lawsuit is childish. And it's NOT 1995, wherein every HOUSEWIFE threatens to file a LAWSUIT everytime her way didn't happen. Pathetic to even insinuate.

And by the way... educated people don't curse. They don't JUST hang up. And they talk FACE TO FACE, with their tempers in place. If not, they'd be just that: brawlers.

Get over yourself. Your name is not here.

Is it too painful to hear (or read) an opinion without filters? Is everything around each and everyone of you who reacted on this DIARY sugar-coated to the point that makes you naive? Hasn't anybody told you that there are positive AND negative comments? And here on Drama Queen? Nothing is sugar coated.

The only thing i disagreed with the Institute was this: they forgot to choose the diligent and the eager. The ones chosen because they're good enough (?) ; that is not my thing. They are good enough, meaning they could do this without help. So for me, they should have chosen those who actually need this, not the ones who have nothing to do. Those who won't be able to compete for a spot, and those who want it badly.

The diligent and the eager... because they will not JUST DO what they're told, they'd give THEIR BEST. And that's what i'm after. The very best effort one could input. I don't care if the candidate speaks like a native speaker, or has a master's degree. I'd still get the University Undergrad any day who has a thirst to prove themselves worthy; who wants to learn more, and will give her heart and soul to dedicate herself to the cause. HOWEVER: That's just me *shrugs* and my opinion, no matter how strong, is usually just that. AN OPINION. (still reacting? why is common sense such a luxurious trait...)

I give my blog as a warning: at least you CAN GET what i'm trying to say. If a Korean employer had decided to let you go, there wouldn't be any of this. You'd get a questionmark stamped on your thoughts until you figure this one out on your own. (In which case: is not bound to happen as you think you're great. )

This blog happened because i didn't like the way Koreans favor Native Speakers for a job we could also do. And sometimes, we could do this even better. However, i came from a place where QUALITY is more important. And it (quality) could happen with people who tend to be EAGER and DILIGENT.

Of course, there's a good chance that these chosen ones had changed over the weeks, and they are now very eager. But to my standards, after that phonecall, tempers were flying. Can they handle kids when they themselves were acting out? i will say this one again.

KIDS ACT OUT. ADULTS TALK LIKE GROWN UPS. Regardless if they're talking to an imbecile like me... go figure. But i'm going to EDIT later. I can't hold my life just because you asked me to.

And to the Institute: Stop bugging me. What i have seen is none of your business, so don't pick on these aspiring teachers. Some of them actually deserve the spot. Just because there are rotten apples in the crate doesn't mean every apple is rotten. It's your job to be fair, and to separate them.

and i'm done hibernating.

2009-09-19T15:57:00.006+09:00

not because i'm satisfied, but rather because i was wakened.

... and this year's hibernation happened because.... (not saying)

anyway. i'm back doing my personal research with marriages. the muss and fuss when it comes to finding that special someone (or simply a bride) will continue.

and before anything else: the issue with the Institute was the one that stirred me from slumber mode.

SO i will send this message across to the NON-NATIVE MEDIOCRE ENGLISH TEACHERS IN KOREA. To those who are just THERE stagnant and thinking that they have everything going on. Those who can speak but DON'T know how to express, nor can hold a decent conversation. And those who DON'T have a good command of English and ARE there anyway.

I'm highly embarrassed that such TEACHERS existed. I get that they want encouragement... and here it is. CHALLENGE YOURSELF TO DO BETTER. You think you got it down, but you don't. There is more to this business than just good vocabulary, expressions, grammar, TOEIC, accent and pronunciation. Your job is to find it, and share to the hopefuls, the future, and the rest of the world who are also aspiring to become better speakers.

You are not allowed to go sulking because someone like me said you don't deserve your post. Go prove me wrong. Then get back at me. I'm an idiot with a good play of words. I'm easy to surpass.

The Institite: what i wrote is none of your business. I criticize because i can.. because it's MY BLOG. I am weird, blunt, and uninhibited. You saw it yourself.

Now if you'll excuse me, i still have a research here. Unbelievably difficult to find facts and interview people. (^_^)

Signs that you're a Snob

2009-09-13T13:04:00.004+09:00

(warning: mother tongue content)

From Chico's blog entitled "Strange Fruit"

i just remembered who i am. =)

The Top Ten Signs That You’re A Snob

Vampgirl – Someone sent me messages to my YM asking why I wasn’t answering. My only reply: “Simple, I don’t chat with jerks like you.”

Carmine – I’m a big reality TV fan, especially Survivor. One time someone asked if I also follow the local version, and I replied: “Sorry, pero pag local na, ayoko na.”

Carmine – A friend asked me to accompany him to Divisoria for xmas shopping. I said: “Would you like it if you got a gift bought from Divisoria?”

Carmine – A friend has a Nokia E90. When asked if it’s easy to use while driving she said, “How would I know? I have a driver.”

Ghildon – When an officemate was offered chicacorn, he said,”I don’t eat chicken food.”

Dru – If you tell people, “I’m broke, but I’m not poor. There’s a difference.”

Knightdriver – When a jeepney cut me rudely, I rolled down my window and shouted, “Kung magmaneho ka, parang may pambayad ka ha!”

Jedi Mstr – If someone asks you if you have the Starbucks planner, and you say, “Ew, you mean its free if you drink enough coffee?”

Dru – I never speak to anyone unless they say my name. Bawal ang sutsot or hoy.

Mai – When a friend asked if I went to the Glorietta sale, I said, “I don’t shop pag sale.”

No name – If you’re talking about something interesting and that person says: “And I care because..?”

SPY Shadow – If you offer her sorbetes and she says: “They don’t call that ‘DIRTY’ for nothin’.”
Geyp – Girl 1: “Do you watch teleserye?” Girl 2: “Ew. Even my yaya doesn’t watch tele-whatever.”

Simon Walker – “Forgive me, you’ve obviously mistaken me for someone who gives a damn.”

Maya – My boss once told an officemate: “I will not reply to your text unless you spell each word completely and correctly.”

Boknoi – After being served inihaw na pusit, a balikbayan said: “Back home, we call that bait.”

No name – When a co-employee was invited to get coffee in the pantry vendo, she said: “Sorry, I don’t drink instant.”

Dyosaimma – When the agents ask me in the mall if I already have a credit card, I answer: “Marami, bakit?”

Purple – My dad, bragging about a bargain he got, tells me: “Alam mo ba kung magkano strap ng watch ko? 20 pesos!” I go: “Hmm. Halata.”

La Senyorita – When a bunch of boys asked for our numbers, my bestfriend smiled and said: “Sorry, but girls with bodies like us, don’t talk to boys with faces like yours.”

Jun13 – While paying at the counter, the cashier asked my friend:”Miss, may advantage card po kayo?” She answered: “Wala. I don’t need discounts.”

Acer – When someone approaches to ask you if you remember them from a long time ago: “Tell me again why I should remember you?”

Caricatura – I said this to friend from Ateneo who admonished me for not watching the UAAP finals: “Sorry, I was busy synthesizing Alain Touraine’s theory on social movements and Jurgen
Habermas’ idea of a liberal democracy. So…who won?”

Not thinking, Rather feeling.

2009-09-08T23:53:00.004+09:00

To be sarcastic, detached and tactless is really not working for me right now.

... and if i were to continue writing (rather blogging) about what's left of my research (marriage whatnots) and my pet project, i would need to find my center (after being shattered one time too many).

After all, a challenge is a challenge. To be in a war with just a quarter of ammunition intended can get you killed.

Ergo... i'm hibernating.

The last installment

2009-09-04T22:52:00.007+09:00

Course now concludes what had happened.

After the crash course teaching English, the 10 spots became tangible. The 10 spots were chosen through our submitted resumes and a round of interview with five interviewers.

Needless to say, i was one of the chosen few. there were 11 spots that was opened, and i was SHOCKED with the choices made. Keeping in mind that i myself was a part of this charade, and that i was observing everybody, and teaching in an adult class i have quite some practice when it comes to evaluating people.

One: They chose some of the WORST speakers. If you don't know what i'm talking about, i would give you an example.

"sit her." (i said HER, not HERE!!)

"okey cheldrens, we are going to red a stowry...." (i've had enough)

Two: They chose the loud ones who are not very smart, can speak better korean than english.

Three: They chose a few of the promising people i noticed

Four: They chose me. I'm intense, a sociopath, and i'm a weirdo.

When they chose the 11 people, they forgot to choose the eager and the diligent.

So there we were, sitting in a conference room, and yet another round of orientation. What was expected, what needs to be done, when we would be going to war, and when payday would be. Skipping all the insensible whatnots, the chosen few will train a bit more, prepare the necessary materials or flashcards, the works that need to be done in preparation, to teach kids.

Then the issue with time arrived: i work 6:00 AM to 8:00 AM. The time schedule that was given is 10:00 AM to 4:00 PM. then back to my work to have 6:30 to 8:30 class. If i do this, it'd be a slow suicide, and i will never see my kids.

I gave up my spot and asked for one of the diligents to take my place instead. Three hours later, one of the wives called and asked me who i chose, because one of the apathetics was there instead.

holy poo on toast!

anyway, i don't care. i stopped caring the moment i took the bus home the same day. If i were to compete for the same position with one of these girls, it'd be too easy. But then again, someone forwarded my name in Gwangju University to teach English. I'm waiting.

**EDITED AGAIN: after this post? i highly doubt anybody from THAT place would want anything to do with me. i'm not waiting anymore, rather, i'm giving my thousand percent (as always) to what i do.

*** EDITED FOR THE THIRD TIME: ... just go figure.

The Hopefuls

2009-08-30T14:15:00.018+09:00

In this post, i am not about to have tact. It's not for the weak, and definitely not for the patriotic.

The women i encountered...

I had to endure two weeks in this place. To have an intelligent conversation is wishful thinking. The place is swarming with matchmaking made in some places. There were three cases that were not: Mine, a 30-something woman who is doing a matchmaking business, and another one who used to work with her now-husband (aka office romance). The others in this place, disliked me heartily. They thought i was showing off by asking questions.

Like i cared.

First day: the first thing that i have noticed is that these women cannot speak English. Some of them can understand Korean better than English, and it was painful to listen to them. I have encountered my share of bad speakers, but this particular group takes the cake. I mean, COME ON! They're all aspiring teachers and they cannot even make a structured sentence! The older woman who used to clean my dorm room five years ago speaks better English than most of these women. My father-in-law, who has no idea when it comes to English speaks BETTER than most of these aspiring teachers.

Never mind the accent. That we can work with.

Much like a high school classroom, you would be able to identify who's who and what's what. The class clown, the eager, the quiet, the diligent, the ones who are there because of the ride, the weirdo (me), and the show offs. There was a woman there who wanted to show off. She was sitting in front and she wanted to make an impression that she is (was) a teacher, she taught high school (i did too), and that she knows what she needs to do.

Till i spoke (bwahahahaha!!). That put her into her place. One thing about reijene is that you can't strut your stuff if it ain't better than hers. Teaching had always been my passion. It's not just something i do for a living. It's something i do with my whole soul poured into. It's not to brandish to the whole world that i am smart. It's not something to boast about. It requires humility, to a T.

Keeping in mind that these were all on the first day. I was planning to shut up and listen (and i failed miserably), but because of that show off parading what she used to be (before marrying her old korean husband) to the whole class, and bringing up archaic and phased out teaching styles, i couldn't resist it.

Anyway...

I was observing these women. I went full blast friendly without them noticing what i was trying to hide (my annoyance about their tastes, for one). They thought i was just a clown. Course some of them would still be called pretentious, but i was able to make the class laugh at my antics.

reijene says... I have a knack of knowing a person just by looking. I don't need to ask questions. My speculations are usually accurate. These girls (I'm not to call them women) are not ambitious enough for anything, but to get married, have kids and get it over with. They're married because... maybe one of these things would be their reason, but I'd go for the most obvious: they want a greener pasture without any effort but their own vaginas. They're there because they need to earn money, they don't have any working experience, and their idiot Korean husbands who cannot speak English had given up on Korean women. But 45% of these women are promising.. very promising indeed. An intensive personality training and they'd be more powerful than i am.

And no, they cannot speak English properly. Some could, but most of them can't. My 6:00 student can speak better than 85% of the class! Not to mention wrong pronunciation of simple words (i.e pear, sheep vs ship or bitch vs beach). Wrong usage of words, wrong sentence formation, wrong grammar terminologies, wrong.. wrong.. WRONG!! Needless to say, i am eating my words: I want us to have jobs, i want the migrant women to have jobs. I want us to compete with the NS society when it comes to teaching. Now i just can't wish for it. Because i really am for quality, not quantity.

How can they compete if they can't even be up to that level? How can they teach without a good command of English? How CAN they teach with their sucky pronunciation and their crappy disposition? WHAT CAN WE SHOW THE ENTIRE NATION other than we can understand English better than Koreans, and yet we cannot even express it?

To be a teacher you have to look and DRESS the part.We can't be teachers with stereotype stamped on our foreheads and dressed like some wrinkled sluts after a night job, or a house maid for that matter.

After hearing (rather reading) the news that SMOE and GEPIK dropped 100 (or more?) NS who were supposed to do a lower level English, and the news that migrant women are about to be placed in schools, or charity cases, or house to house halfway through the course, i felt awful. Awful as i was a jobhunter not too long ago, and i know how it feels to be dropped like a hot potato to make way for someone you think cannot be better than you.

And with those thoughts, my sincerest apologies to the NS society. As much as i hate to admit it, most of these women cannot teach. They cannot do the part. They lack everything necessary to be effective in teaching.

**i just wish this photo was taken in a 180 degree angle, it'd have looked much better! i look like i have cankles, and had added an extra 5 kg to my 47 kg disposition!!!**

Crash Course ENGLISH TEACHER Training Program for migrant wives in Gwangju just ended.

2009-08-29T17:51:00.010+09:00

For the first time in my life here in Korea, i have decided to swallow my pride, remove the stick up my ass, and put up with one of the programs the government offers to migrant women. Exactly two weeks ago, down here in Gwangju, a similar program happened.

*edited* she asked for her picture to be removed. this blog had stirred **** itself.

Knowing myself, i have become rather judgmental, but i do it with a fair amount of knowledge, and this time, i can honestly say: KOREA'S GONE MAD.

To start off, this program was in the news a couple weeks ago and i remembered being skeptical with the idea. One: there weren't any details. When the news came out, it only stated that it's for the "benefit and the well being of migrant women in the Korean society" crap. I thought they'd be doing some kind of secretarial, or office management, or clerical crash courses. And it stated: To those who had never had a professional job experience. Okay.. i guess that will not qualify me for a spot. And even if i do, i won't. Seriously, whoever said that working in an environment with 95% of the staff cannot understand a word you're saying is NOT stressful, or is LESS stressful than being a stay-at-home momma, i guess it'd be a matter of opinions, but moi? not unless you're job includes bringing folders to every table, or typing something put on top of your desk and you're basically nonexistent... then why not.

APPARENTLY, the "training course" turned out to be an "English teaching training program" that would be covering the basics of teaching up till HIGH SCHOOL. After experiencing massive rejections from the Korean hagwons, and public schools, even though i already have a job, i have decided to go. Just in case it doesn't work out with Global. Anyway, it stated that it's free. Not to mention, it was going to give us (if we're good enough), a 5-hour job everyday that'd pay 600,000 Won (10 spots); and a recommendation from the establishment itself if we don't get hired after the program. If we were recommended by the institute, it's about 75% sure hire. The remaining 25% would be our effort. If all else fails, one of the instructors would recommend those who won't be able to fish even one.

Moving along...

As all "schooling" goes, there's a deal-breaker: cannot be absent, cannot be late. Be late 3 times, it's equivalent to one absence; be absent three times, and you're not bound to get a cert. Knowing us? Being LATE is a part of our culture, (unbelievably embarrassing). And sure enough, 45% of the class were always late, and it was unnoticed. I did because after work (8 AM), husband and i would drive there, look for a place to have breakfast, and at 9:15, I'd be waiting. The program starts at 10. They gave us coffee and tea with some crackers or fruit at the back of the room, which, would be gone as soon as the women arrived. There were 23 participants including me.

I was kinda looking forward to this program. Why? Being a teacher (sometimes), it's good to be a listener once in a while. It's amazing to be just a part of a class, and not be the speaker. Oh, who am i kidding. Two hours after the program started i was immediately labeled as a show off. I have too many questions, too many answers, too many too much, and the women training us was flustered by what i ask or how i answered. The Korean woman training us was from Korea After School Program (i applied there), which, you can just imagine my excitement. I thought it'd be something innovative, or diverse, different from what i do, or something with a fresher uptake.

I couldn't be more disappointed.

But there were more instructors. One from Gwangju Women's University, another from a kindergarten (i was not listening) but she was amazing with story-telling and crafts, from Chonnam University who had the most helpful topic (two hours, sigh), and more. I really wasn't paying attention much as they're all speaking in Korean, and are trying to help, but they were giving me something that i have already known for a while. Including classroom management. I was excited with lesson planning, as Koreans have a different uptake to it. And they do: it's more tedious than the normal lesson planning.

But basically, that's just it. To me, it had very little input, but i am looking forward to the recommendation that this 50-hour program did. Why?

Just because. (^.^)

At the very last day of this program we did demo classes. As there were 23 participants, and 5 hours of class time, not to mention two instructors who wanted two separate demo classes, we were crunched with time. I prepared four very different, and still related topics. However, as agreed, with the Filipina teacher, we were to do a 10-minute each. With the Korean teacher, we were to do 20-25 minutes, and since time was really not enough, we were grouped, and a demo class with group effort would be done. I was not supposed to do the demo for the Korean instructress, but she pulled me aside and asked...

did you prepare for a demo class?
"yes.." (and started to have yet another sneaking suspicion..)
"i know you would. they're all here to watch you."

HYPERVENTILATING.. HYPERVENTILATING!!! moi? again? i thought i explained to her that i should be giving this chance to someone else? Time and again, when there's supposed to be something that was asked of us to do, like a dummy-demo of how to, the migrant women would clamour for me, and i would (rather sharply) respond that i am not to do it, because they should try it. But sometimes, just for the sake of their improvement, i did. And usually, my style was picked up.

That woman had been vocal from day one that i was the brightest (?) among the group. She called me once or twice to help her with the class, and to explain a bit further what she was trying to say, not to mention bring up the crucial points that she sometimes missed. She gives me intriguing compliments, or insults. SO i had no choice. I had to do the demo class instead of the other member.

"Charismatic" was what i heard (me smiling ear to ear) from the observers.
"Excellent performance" from the instructress.
... and dagger looks from the other groups. LMAO. so sue me.

So there... it's all done. I know i gave it my thousand percent, with my kids as the collateral damage. They have forgotten about me. Two weeks. The first week was barely anything, as i was only trying to catch up with the missed lessons (students absent most of the time), but second week? Monthly level test was coming, and the infos that i needed was given to me on a sturday, with a deadline on tuesday morning, with three abilities to be tested: written, spoken, and grammar. Level test was Wedensday, test results should be given by thursday, and evaluation by friday. On top of preparing for my four demo classes. I barely had time to sleep or eat, let alone watch my kids.

So after all everything? All the activities and things i have prepeared is now at the hands of my four year old, and he loves everything i made. And this weekend is dedicated for my two kids, and two kids alone.

But this doesn't end here. A part two, is on a brewing session, and it'd deal with the aspiring teachers.

It really doesn't make much sense, but...

2009-08-24T22:29:00.004+09:00

i'm thinking my prejudice had started to subside,

i changed her oil, she changed my life!

2009-08-23T15:03:00.006+09:00

After surviving what i believe to be the worst test i could have ever done to myself, i move forward to what I'm hoping to be a brighter future. what i did was something i would bury together with the stick up my ass, and know that from the center of this little place i call home, i have someone who will make sure that my feet would be on the ground.

That said....

We proceed to the second installment of my highly uncaring thoughts.

Arranged marriage. Who and WHY would anybody even try and subject themselves to it?

As defined online, an arranged marriage is a kind of marriage arranged by someone else other than the couple getting married (which, in my opinion, is no better than matchmaking made in wherever). In the olden days, it usually is done by parents to pair their heirs (too rhyme-y?) to ensure their family wealth (somewhere in Europe), to uphold the family honor (China), according to social standing (India), to have babies (Africa), unification of two powerful families (Islam), it could go on and on here, but we should stop it there.

The question that i want to dig is this: why would anybody even dream of it? I get that when Princess Fiona wanted to marry Prince Charming is because she thought she didn't have a choice... along came Shrek. But the point of arranged marriage is usually beyond the two people getting married. They're just puppets to do a task for a brighter (?) future.

My mother, she was almost a part of this arranged marriage. Maybe one of the reasons why she married Dad is because she also didn't want to be subjected to it. I remember the stories, how the man she was supposed to marry came from a very rich Islam family, how her dowry was paid in advance, and three times the amount that was agreed upon, why she was chosen (she has two sisters), and how she escaped...

She did escape, she eloped with my Dad. How romantic... (excuse me while i throw up)

Moving along.... Just like what i did with matchmaking, i went in search of some mail order brides. I went poking, clicking, searching, the works that you do to have a good research....
They're beautiful. No other word for it. Sure there's a possibility that they're all photoshopped, or the infos are tweaked so that they'd be this perfect slim girls with long hair and gorgeous eyes. I don't get WHY.

Gold diggers? No wonder we cannot get past stereotyping.

Love? (excuse me while i throw up again) anybody that beautiful (agency) is sure to have any man drooling.

Dating failures? Who doesn't?

Security reasons? ... again, no wonder the stereotyping wouldn't stop.

Sex? err... wha...?!

whatever gave these girls/women the idea that getting married to a foreigner is an easy task, they should have tried being married first to their own kind.

marriage as i keep on mentioning, is not something to take on lightly. to be a mail-order bride, it's like being a housemaid; paid. And used for sex. If you know someone that after being arranged to marry to a complete stranger, and found it easy, let me know. I'll conduct an interview myself.

meanwhile, excuse me while i brew a fresher idea for my next surge of words.

Now that's just plain WEIRD!

2009-08-21T19:15:00.006+09:00

Am i to call these situations inconsistencies, coincidence, planned, or karma is too much of a bitch.

I read my favorite bloggers to jump start my idle brain. They usually have a fresher take of ideas than the normal editorials on the papers. Brian in Jeolla-Namdo posted this entry, stating and i quote:

SMOE cuts tons of Native Speaker English Teacher jobs before start of the
Semester.

I'm not telling you my initial reaction, seeing as i'm trying to change.

Couple weeks ago, news came out that they'd be training foreign wives to be able to work. There were no details on what kind of job. Last week, i received a newsletter, an invitation to have this "crash course" to teach English in Kindergartens, or kids up to high school level.

What's this? What is all this? If you had read my blog before, you're aware about my struggles when it came to jobhunting. 5000 jobs all over the country, and we're not allowed to fish even one, because the main reason: PHILIPPINES. They're not hiring anybody not coming from these "Native Speaking" countries.

Let's add two and three, shall we?

When the job market opened, i was one of the people who diligently searched for jobs. I searched all day, and all night. I searched online, and i did a couple of phone interviews. If i don't mention my motherland, i almost get an interview. If not, i get the "i'm sorry, we have to prioritize... blah blah blah" crap. I saw how the advertisement changed. Same benefits (house, airfare, allowance, insurance, severance pay) on top of their 1.8 million to 3 million Won salaries. It changed drastically everytime. I even remember cursing because i saw the same advertisement on three different sites... and the salary range went from 1.8 (2.2)-2.5-3 million. Eeeew.

And now they're dropping successful applicants? WHY? I don't think they planned it that way. SMOE and EPIK are working with the government, right? And right now, i'm smelling something.

The migrant wives are doing a crash course, i myself included in the program. I'm attending it because i want the certificate that they'd give right after. After being subjected to this "i can't hire you regardless" crap, i am opting to use an alternative: something offered by the government. It might make it easier to have more teaching loads. The people being trained are Filipino Women. No other nationalities. Maybe in some other parts of the country might, but Gwangju certainly has just Philippines. It's done everyday from 10 AM to 4 PM, for two weeks since monday. The crash course.. is really REALLY for anybody without teaching experiences.

reijene hypothesis: i'm not trying to insinuate anything, rather a speculation. The Korean economy, recovering as it may be, is still trying to cut costs, and hiring foreigners from another country will not help. Notice that the teachers who were dropped were on a lower position? I"m guessing, they were not dropped because of over-booking. I think they were dropped to make way for the government project of helping migrant women in korea. Of course, not to add salt to the injury, they had to say they had some "overbooking" issues. But this crash course? The training is really for kids. From kindergarten up to high school.

i screwed up!

2009-08-19T19:01:00.004+09:00

just so the title says it so... =)

I'm currently doing this "training program" that was released on the news a couple weeks ago. I said i wouldn't be doing it as i was highly skeptical around the idea. What kind of job would it be? Office? Sales? And the answer (d'oh) came out pretty simpler: They're looking for English teachers again.

After months of jobhunting, rejection letters, apologies from recruitment agencies, phone interviews passed with screeching halts when i mention my motherland: They are now TRAINING migrant wives to teach English to kids; charity cases, man to man session, kindergarten, middle schools and high schoolers as our main market. We have decided after receiving the newsletter that i should go and do it. I mean, they're going to give a certificate after 10 days (now running 7) so we'd be able to teach.

SO comes with this opportunity, the idea of meeting other wives is a pickle. I mean, i still have that stick up my ass, and i was about to enter an even bigger circle wherein my prejudice can and would probably spin out of control.

It also will give me access and an even bigger idea about the people, the reasons, the what-nots, of this inter-racial marriage, not to mention, be able to help those in need.

The ones who were about to take this "training program" are Filipino women. what a surprise. No other country people. I could only assume that it is because most of the other Asian wives cannot really speak english. Sure i have met a Vietnamese woman, and she can barely speak English, but she has a good understanding ability even if she could barely create a perfect sentence... But she's working. Teaching English too. Oh, great! Mediocre to the point of bad and she has a job? Even my husband scorned at the idea!

just wait...

If HE has a POLE, and SHE has a HOLE, they could get married, right?

2009-08-15T13:40:00.006+09:00

Is there a proper answer to that question?

One common reason people get married is because of moral value: Legal sex. We were all raised to understand that pre-marital sex is not allowed, and that it's dishonorable to engage in such. We were made to believe in the value of virginity. Of course, boys have something different, but with girls, we were told to wait. That sex is not done in haste.

Three rules:
1. Play hard to get.
2. Don't give the guy money, nor pay for his expenses.
3. Don't sleep with until the time is right.

These are the unwritten rules girls are made to believe, but i don't think everybody knew these. As for me? I only followed rule number 2. I had a rule of test driving, because an adult relationship is never without sex. I have heard of "girls waiting" for that magical night, until, a persuasive boy comes along, or her friends teasing her about it.... There goes her chastity! Precious few actually was able to resist that pressure.

This pre-marital sex thing is still a huge issue. But i know it's irrelevant to what i want to talk about. I'm going to dig inside this "matchmaking" marriages.

We start with matchmaking. I have encountered dating sites, and i believe it's for people who want to "date" and have partners to go to movies, do a fuck fest, emotional support, the usual blah of dating. Not that I'm against it. I believe in honest to goodness SEE ME and decide. You like me, i like you, we go test drive. Then pick it up from there.

I'm not from a matchmaking made in the Philippines. My husband was really my student. His schedule with me was 3-5 PM on his first 2 months, and 1-3 PM on his last two months. He requested for me.

I didn't marry him because i wanted to. I love him, all my soul, but it was the right thing to do. I was pregnant and I do not want my son to be labled. We agreed to get married. He did not propose, and it was me who chose and bought our engagement ring (now missing). I worked my way around the idea, and i only wanted a signed paper. He did everything i asked him to do. And there's one thing on this agreement: we're growing old together.

After my parents disowned me (now running four years solid), we went to Korea where husband's parents threw him a wedding. I had to agree. He's first born of the first born patriarch. WE agreed to get married, it's mutual, so i had to respect his culture. That is our wedding ring: platinum encrusted diamond in a white gold band (i'm allergic to yellow gold). I only wore that a couple times. =)

To be fair, i went and checked out a matchmaking agency. I went looking around at women, Filipino women in particular (I'm bi, i can differentiate pretty and not). I looked at their profiles, and i have to admit i am nauseated. I chose a category nearer to me: Same age group/generation, same height and weight, different religious backgrounds. What does it take to be in a matchmaking agency? I saw their pictures are taken in a similar fashion... sexy clothing but not too revealing, photo make-up, hair to look natural but obviously styled. In short, it was a photo shoot to make maximum impact to any guy who would look...

They're not that bad-looking. Some are even cuter than normal, and some are just plain GORgeous. But what, and i mean WHAT kind of urge do these women have to sign up for such things?

Financial security? I get that even as an undergrad i had a career and i had job offers; and not all girls/women have that. Call me lucky.

True love? How can you say that it's love when you haven't even seen the guy? That the guy is courting through an online site? The complications of love is another matter, but it's not really rocket science: IT'S NOT LOVE IF YOU HAVE NOT SEEN THE OTHER'S FLAWS. Will you still love the guy even if he had started verbally abusing you? Had started hitting? Had shared you with his friends? Had belittled your personality and insulted your intelligence EVEN if he holds your hand? Even if he looks presentable, an abuser knows how to hide.
Men who have secrets? They won't tell you that they have a problem till you're in there and it's too late.

You want to get married? So there goes the true love issue again. Or is it just because of the word marriage?

Job opportunities? You don't have to get married to any country national to get a job. Us Filipinos are known for those things. We work abroad, regardless of what job. Sure it's like passing through a needle hole, but what job interview doesn't?

To send money home and help your family get a better life? Seriously? I know that not everybody had good financial status (i'm cheap, ignore me) and that they want to help their parents have a better life. But at the risk of your vagina? (too vulgar?) I'm getting worked up here.

To have sex? I don't think so. Is there anybody from a matchmaking made somewhere in it for sex?

Change of citizenship? THAT?? No, no, no, no, no. Philippines, bad as the country can get, the economy in trash, you're still a part of it. Nothing, but the name of your country will change, but physically, mentally, almost everything, except country... YOU'RE A FILIPINO.

Ang hindi magmahal sa sariling wika ay mas malansa pa sa mabahong isda.

Translated: He who does not love his own language has a much worse stench than a rotting fish. Familiar?

IN matters of love: WOMEN do not fall in love at first sight. MEN do.
And men could get pretty creative and pursuasive. What women hold is the power to resist.

reijene blues: I really am part of a minority: powerful women. I have a pet project, working my way around it, and this is my hidden agenda: EMPOWER girls that they are better than they think.

next in line: arranged marriage.

Marriage: Business or Pleasure?

2009-08-14T18:22:00.008+09:00

As a kid i have been fascinated with love stories. How two souls are able to find each other even of they were from different parts of the world, or society. I used to read pocket books, Filipino version. My mother was strictly against it, so i hid every time i find something that has a good teaser. And usually, they all lived happily ever after getting married.

What is marriage anyway?
It is a union of two people.

There lies the complication around it. The word union itself is the culprit of the word.

According to the bible, marriage is sacred.

1. For appetizers: Marriage is for the comfort, pleasure, and happiness of the Creator's people. A man who finds a wife finds a good thing. She is good for him because she was created that way.

2. For your second course: Marriage is for the comfort, training, and security of children.

3. Entree: Marriage is to fulfill the sexual desires of men and women. It is honored around the world in every civilized society as an undefiled institution (oooh, yummy).

4. To clean our palettes for dessert: Marriage is to perpetuate the human race. The idea of surrogate mothers would destroy the home if carried to its logical implications.

5. And for dessert: God designed woman for man. This also means he is designed for her. Together they fit the needs of each other. Other considerations regarding marriage matches involve personalities and personal traits.

Are we full yet? I'm still hungry.. so i want to dig a bit further.

For the dessert part, it involves dating. How two people are trying to "wear" each other and find out if they fit. I used to be a sucker for love stories, i might as well use that part of me.

Ah, love. The amost common reason why there aare married people. From whirlwind romances, to steady for years, the typical two-year steady period before popping the question... Opposites attract, birds of the same feather, astrology-related, blah blah blah.

To the point: Why do people get married?

Simplest answer: Security reasons. Everybody wants to wake up when they're old and they'd have a companion. For women it's a matter of emotional strings. The "i cannot live without you" drama. I don't know why men choose to get married. Do they want kids? Do they want security the way women do. If you know a guy who can talk about this freely buzz buzz.

Now the juicy part: How can anybody decide to get married?

OOOOOPS. The topic is too big. My pea-sized brain can only handle so much when inspiration's not really kicking in. But i know what points i'd like to cover.

1. Actual (bf/gf) proposal

2. Arranged Marriage

3. Matchmaking

4. Contractual Business

5. Mutual decision

6. Society Pressure vs Parental Pressure vs Career Pressure

Each one has its distinctive differences. If you know where you're labeled you know what to do. Meanwhile i'll be waiting for another stroke of inspiration to do PART 2.

Progressing Prejudice

2009-08-08T16:11:00.004+09:00

I think i just made the wrong title. ^^

Anyway, work-related and prejudice-related.

In this place, i am a bit unkind to Caucasians (understatement of the century), and prejudiced with Native Speakers as a whole.

I am, however, working my way around it as i have mentioned it before: It's not something i want to live by. I hate the fact that i, not just roll my eyes at the sight of an NS or a Caucasian, i actually flinch, and hear the whizzing of my pea-sized brain.

Be as it may, i have started working and there was an NS among the staff, a caucasian man, nevertheless.

Progress 1: I didn't roll my eyes.
Progress 2: I didn't flinch.
Progress 3: We even had a small talk. ^^

Juvenile? Yes, but to me this is progress. I still have this boundary issue, physically, and socially. The mere fact that i was able to stay in a room with an NS is an ordeal. To talk without being hostile? That's another.

I think i know what i want for my birthday: NS's as guests. See where my prejudice lies, and if i would be able to fight it.

Are Korean Men REALLY Capable of Marrying a Foreign Spouse?

2009-08-08T14:38:00.005+09:00

Well, being in an inter-racial marriage i just put a very controversial question.

Can Korean men actually be married to a spouse that barely spoke his language, has a different culture, and different upbringing?

As i have blogged yesterday, this question popped in my head while watching some kind of documentary about two handicapped kids(?) on a date. I see that the boy is so sweet, and the girl is so meek. A Korean-Korean union seems the most sensible thing to do.

Here where i live, there are two marriages in the house: mine and my in-laws. It couldn't be any more different than North and South Korea!

I'm referring to my opinions, about the 20-hour program for Korean Men before they marry a foreigner. Okay, so i get the idea that they want to prevent more divorces, more domestic violence, more unhappy foreigners and more clueless girls who wouldn't know what to do if their husbands suddenly flipped out and decided they had enough. But what about those who are already here? Are they going to call those husbands to have the same 20-hour course?

Okay... so why am i just bugging Korean men? There are two sides of the story here!!

Hello Korean women! You're not safe.

Statistics showed that there are more women than men. I think the last proportion was 3 women to one man. But that's beside the point. The Korean men who marry foreigners are mostly the ones Korean women wouldn't even give a second look. (lucky me, my husband's cute) Either they're not good looking enough, not rich enough, not.. JUST not enough (size?). I have two classes in the morning, 13 students, and i have SIX bachelors. Two bachelorettes, an older gentleman, three economically active family men, and a girl with a boyfriend. By no means are these bachelors hideous. In fact, they're positively cute. But none of them has a girlfriend. (An adult class enjoys these things.) Ask them why. They'd tell me, too busy, or tried, but was unsuccessful.

Moving along... why won't Korean women entertain Korean men? The same complaints? That they are statues, stone cold, patriarchal, insensitive whatever blah? Or they're not rich enough, their family's not prestigious enough, that "he" is a first born son, et cetera, et cetera?

Sure there are Korean Nuptials, but have you seen the divorce rate? I secretly liked watching this TV program "Scandal" , the Korean version of "Cheaters" in US. Married women cheat their husbands. Husband cheating their wives seems like the most sensible problem, but if it's the woman who cheats... there's something wrong. Women are not genetically designed to cheat. Well, most women at least.

I have female friends, and they're not this complicated. Trust me when i say these women had more issues, a longer stick up their asses, and an even bigger bitch-modified genetics. Korean women seems... indecipherable. Am i sounding too judgmental again? Ignore me. i'm still worked up with yesterday's topic.

For self starters only

2009-08-07T19:58:00.007+09:00

Deja vu.

Since monday i have been having this. I wake up with the happy butterflies on my stomach, excited with each day of work. My husband had been smoking in front of me, and i have been craving smokes. =P

Five and a half years ago, when i started working, my breakfast had always been: strong coffee and mentholated smokes. After the usual routine (bath, wardrobe, make-up), breakfast and gum comes next. Those days i was majorly hooked with something mentholated. Everyday, for five days. The smell of cigarette smoke wakes every bit of sense in me.

So yes, those days i was a chain smoker. 30 sticks a day, average. On drinking days, it'd go up to three packs. Weekends, since i have to go home to my father's house, smokes had to stop. Although Daddy knew and wouldn't mind for as long as i'm not too hooked, my mother would have gone ballistic if i reaked.

anyway...

reijene's having one of those days... those "feel good" days.

When the week's work is all worth it.

Five years ago, on a day like this? I would hit a dance club with some friends, or go watch some unknown and amazing acoustic band, making my friday evenings exciting, busy and unpredictable.

Course, sometimes i prefer a new toy instead of spending the night with my friends.

And now that i am called married, i guess blogging is one of the options i have left. ^^

Oh, Great! Every blogger has this entry!

2009-08-07T14:25:00.005+09:00

You've seen the papers yesterday and today? Something related to what and where we're labeled with.

Yesterday's news: Population of foreigners more than a million.

** Assessment: so now the numbers matter? And they plan to do what?

More news from yesterday: A training program for foreign wives who had never worked in a professional career. The training consists of office management, the sorts.

** Assesment: The country's praparing for the inevitable: more foreign workers. As the number of foreign wives increase, so does the pressure of keeping them well in the society. If giving them a career will, then they would.

reijene blues: although.. i highly doubt that. if you put me in an office to work as a secretary, an office assist, or as a receptionist, where everybody speaks korean and the office etiquettes are different from what we're used to, i'd be more stressed. As i have worked for a korean before, i am aware of the things they're expecting... how about this training course for the women who don't have a day's worth of professional experience? is it going to instruct them how to deal with a korean boss? how a korean boss only expects and not say anything, and that if you screw up, there wouldn't be a fair warning you just get terminated? i wouldn't know. i'm not planning to attend it... although it sounds interesting, the proposal just insulted the intelligence of the foreign wives.

Today's News: The Korean Government is offering 1 million won to a korean spouse who wants to marry a foreigner after completeing a 20-hour course (and it does sound weird). The course is to prepare the 'korean". The purpose of that money? To help pay for their nuptial ceremony. Oh, great!

A pointed this one out... PREPARE FOR WHAT? They're bringing in a foreign body (spouse)here. the foreign body will need more assisstance, duh? if you will tell me that there are already some societies for that, i say: sure. societies done in what language?

reijene blues: Korean men are not as complicated as you think. They're just like any other men. When they want sex, then go have sex with them. If you don't want to have sex, i dont know what to say because i like sex. I haven't had those days... not yet =P... If they need their dinner, give them their dinner. After that, hand them the remote control if you want them off your hands. Or give them the computer (or laptop) if you only have one. If you get lonely, instead of stewing on your bile, go be creative. There are a lot of things that can be done. Unless, of course, you're like me, extremely paranoid with a log up your ass.

As every marriage, the first couple years are the most testing. You do not expect your marriage to be perfect from... maybe after honeymoon. There's an adjustment period, and adjusting in another country, AFTER getting married is one of the most challenging task ever. From culture to food, language and customs, everything will put a strain into your new life. Unless, your husband (or wife) has patience the size of his (or her) country, then rocky road will start rockin.

My marriage? It suffered from the same strain. We're no angels, and neither one of us had patience the size of our motherlands, but we learned how to compromise... bit by bit. The same WORD would be needed, not some 20-hour program to "prepare" these men. That program will not teach them english, or another medium of communication. That program will not give them patience if their wives fail to meet their expectations.

Unless, the 20-hour curriculum will include brainwashing so they'd become better men.

reijene obsession's hitting a snag

2009-08-06T16:22:00.002+09:00

From the unknown man i talked on the phone, an obsession starting to rise.

This is my challenge: to help those Filipino women (starting in Gwangju, hopefully) who had some bad, or very bad luck when they came to Korea: from the women thinking of greener pastures, to the girls who were promised a better life. I know i cannot offer much, me still being too stuck up, but i know i can provide some kind of support, a wake up call, kinder than this DRAMA QUEEN styling... I also have an extra room if you need one. =) Just don't ask me for finances, i know i cannot handle that (me being too stingy).

I already have the support of my mother-in-law. I saw her have this small smile. I'm guessing her thoughts would be: FINALLY! Me daring to go out and meet people. She had always tried to encourage me to go out and about, learn how the bus works, try and befriednd some of the inter-racial wives in the area, and i would give her this smile, and say, " NO, " in Korean, and rather defiantly. For almost four years it's always like that. She knew why, and she knows i hate it. But i guess she just respected what i was going through. Today i told her what i'm up to, and she said she's fine with it. We could use the second floor (if i have friends over) if it'd make me feel comfortable.

I already have the support of my forever apathetic turd of a husband (just my adjective, he's a good man). His words: YOU WILL. Knowing him for four years, it only meant one thing... Don't bug me to drive you. =) maybe i should learn how to drive... so that i could just steal his car and USE it. =P

However, the recent comments of Jehan and Jempres snapped me out of this naive and childish project! Add the obvious and typical objections of Arvin, equals me suddenly having second thoughts. This pet project i am hoping to start with will not be easy. Helping those who are already here and in need is one thing. Prevention of victims would be another thing. It's not going to be small!!

I am thinking, and probably will keep on thinking because i need a place to start! SO yes, now i am going to admit, i need help.

THIS JUST IN:

2009-08-05T20:13:00.002+09:00

i have a job... ^^

well, supposed to be part-time morning classes, with the WORST possible time: 6:00 am.

only for two hours, because as the director had said, it's a "probation" period. For an entire month i am subjected to this "if the students like you" deal. if they do, i'd be given more loads in the evenings.

i know why. 4 and a half years ago i did it, too.

barely ten minutes ago, i received a phone call from the school....

I HAVE THE EVENING CLASSES NEXT MONTH!! i can't take it this month because it will disrupt the lesson plans made, so i get to have more loads next month. ^^ imagine me jumping up and down like a lil (nothing little with me) maniac. I'm glad.

and another thing: the students liked me. feedback came in today... i thought they were staring at my ass, but hey! i guess it's worth it!! =P

another reijene obsession

2009-08-04T17:14:00.002+09:00

weird weird day.

for the first time in four years i have spoken to another Filipino in the Philippines. I did not place a long distance call, i'm too stingy for that. They called me.

Here on DRAMA QUEEN, i'm a bitch. An inconsistent and evil bitch. Believe it or not, i have been helping (sometimes) some kids in the Philippines when it comes to their blues. I guess you could call me an online adviser, but usually on tough love basis.

One of those kids called today. I guess you can't call her a kid, being 19 and all, but what i call her is irrelevant. She called via their company internet phone. She said she just wanted to pass me to her boss, who wants to learn korean or something. To be a bit polite, i talked to her boss.

I'm guessing he was an older gentleman, and he said he had stayed in Korea for about 11 years before. he asked me how life in korea was like, being married to a korean, living with my in-laws, the Filipino community in gwangju (which on my embarassment) have no input. How could i? i was traumatized the last time i TRIED.

okay... i just have a stick up my ass the size of a pine tree (call it a log!).

He said, comparatively? I am very lucky. Loving (but not showy) husband, supportive and caring in-laws; and smart and sly little shrews (kids). Other Filipino women do not have the same. They only get one, or two, or sometimes none at all. He said he's connected to the Filipino stores nationwide (and i didn't even bother asking who he is), so i thanked him. Maybe if not some Filipino citizens here would have gone crazy. I know i don't need the Filipino store as i can cook and differentiate the flavors to Korean food and Filipino food. I can take advantage of the little things my mother had taught me (bless her). Not to mention... i'm allowed to make what i want. And i'm not too picky when i do. tao lang ang arte ko.

The man i was talking to asked me: why don't you help those filipino women?

I was dumbstruck. Why didn't i? Oh, yes. I was busy hiding because i was offended.

Offended with what? ... err, because they were tactless. Just because i look young doesn't mean i'm one of those "matchmaking" made in the Philippines...

oh, wait. i'm tactless too! More than anybody could have ever imagine. I'm way past tactless. I'm blunt.

When was that? ... (turning scarlet) three years ago.

I must say, stewing on my own bile isn't such a good idea. It's so refreshing to talk to someone who speaks the same language, older, wiser, been to the same possible places maybe more. I missed that. I miss being surrounded by people i could learn from, people who could teach me. There aren't many of them, but that's the beauty of it. I actually listen.

He gave a thought: why wouldn't i? i'm one of those who didn't come from a matchmaking agency. representing something that can change the stereotype of Filipinos in this country.

Oh, wait... (am i excusing myself?) no i'm not. WHERE DO I START?

Warm and Fuzzy

2009-08-03T15:06:00.003+09:00

that's all me today. ^^

My classes started 6 AM, and i was there 5:45, thanks to my wonderful driver. He was home at 4 AM and he decided to stay awake so that he could drive me, and stayed for two hours strolling around just so he's there to support me. Course, driving home he was a bit cranky (sleepless, duh?) and he will need to sleep immediately as he will have to leave for work at 2 PM.

I'm just all warm and fuzzy, that's all. Men don't usually do that. My students this morning were all, "aww, really" when i said my husband's waiting.

He's a conservative man (who took PG 19 pics), does not approve of PDA (i do!), and will not even carry my bag. But when nobody's looking, when it's highly unexpected, he's there.

And to be frank... i'm quite surprised.

My first love VS his doppelganger

2009-08-02T17:59:00.002+09:00

i'm not talking about my husband, i'm talking about JT.

There are so many reasons why i liked him so much. Aside from being cute (since nsync) with the boy-next-door appeal then shedding it all off transitioning him to a man; a very VERY (redundant?) gorgeous man.

Talent wise, i love the sound of his voice. He has this high-pitched tone that disappears when he speaks. He sounds different while singing, and when JUST talking. And the man can dance! THAT was highlighted when he made his solo album. When he starts groovin he oozes sex appeal. Whoever was able to resist that, she's a goddess. A man this beautiful and was able to defy?

I watched his career. I watched his personal life. I was one of the million fans who started HATING Britney Spears for "spearing" this guy. I cried when i found out he started dating Cameron Diaz. I was equally shocked when he went out with Alyssa Milano, and definitely DEFINITELY broken hearted when he was sighted with Jessica Biel. Why? Do the math: after Britney Spears he was into older women.

JT's single "Cry me a River" was one of my favorites. I hated "señorita" because of the sleazy girls. If you would want to react... i was A TEENAGER!

Moving along... this post was actually inspired by Kushibo who wrote this post weeks ago. And since i am forever enthralled by this captivating man i absolutely refused to believe anybody can get close to his level... Until this morning.

His name's Rain. Or Bi, or whatever. I have known him and his career because i was working with teachers who just loves him. I go... EEEW. No thank you.

I have seen some of his music videos. I disliked it heartily. I guess i really am biased, but that's the point of my blog: to prove me wrong all the time. Anyway, i had a lot of things to do today. Not really, i was trying to keep my hands full (hence the massive blog entries) so that i wouldn't be hyperventilating all the time. My job starts in about (counting...) less than 10 hours (it's 8 PM, my job starts at 6 AM). One of the rare moments i panic. I never used to but somehow, for a week, my nerves are out of control. Three things that relaxes me: loud music or music videos while cleaning the house, something pg 19, and another pg 19. SO i was cleaning the house and decided to open my eyes and watch their music videos. Advertisement hits, i'd turn on the radio and hope that there's at least ONE English music that played. And there was.

Sexy Back was playing. i wasn't able to download it so when it plays anywhere i am glad. I was cleaning one of the rooms in the house. Anyway, i suddenly heard this sexy beat. It's hard for me to admit a "sexy" beat, not in K-pop at least. But i told myself, i'd open my eyes and ears today, and try to listen. I liked the song. It's Korean and i liked it. There's a certain degree of my liking, and this one hit the middle part. I was starting to get curious, when the DJ mentioned that he intentionally played these two songs back to back. Sexy man JT, and Korea's very own "sexy man" Rain.

And yes i was shocked. My first thought was, OMG i'm eating my words... and a big nasty grin (thank God i was proven wrong again). Maybe Kushibo was right. I ought to watch closely. Today i start looking to bring back the things i used to love: music and dancing.

Just don't expect me to go gaga with JT's Korean doppelganger. i still don't find him cute.

Man Vs Woman Quotes

2009-08-01T18:11:00.003+09:00

I found it. Well, not really. I was on my other blog page and i saw it. I just love gender bashing.

From Strange Fruit, The Top Ten Man Vs. Woman Quotes

1. Pixygal - Men pay 2 pesos for a 1-peso item that he needs. Women pay 1 peso for a 2-peso item that she doesnt need. (i resent that! heehee)

2. Francine Prito - “The smarter the woman gets, the more difficult for her to find the right man.” - Oprah Winfrey.

3. Lie - Women have many faults, while men only have 2: Everything they say & everything they do.

4. Aura/Kobe Kong - A woman marries a man hoping he will change, but he never does. A man marries a woman hoping she won’t change, but she always does.

5. Ian024 - Dick van Dyke: “Women will never be as successful as men because they have no wives to advise them. (true, true)

6. Shining - Mark Twain: “Man was made at the end of the week’s work, when God was tired.

7. Shining - Women still remember their first kiss even after men have forgotten their last. (is that a fact?)

8. Ian024 - Edgard Watson Howe - One of the most difficult things in the world is to convince a woman that even a bargain costs money.

9. Lucas/Jesse - MAN: “I don’t know how you can be so stupid and so beautiful at the same time.” WOMAN: “God made me beautiful so you would be attracted to me. God made me stupid so I would be attracted to you!” (nyahahahaha!)

10. Sharon Bato - Men control the world, women control the men.

11. Raindancer - When it comes to sex, women need a reason while men need only a place. (agreed!)

12. Dru - Women are like guitars, you need to pluck the right strings. Men are like a pair of maracas, just shake and jiggle a lot and you’re making music together.

13. Jhong - Men have the superpowers of both Lastikman & Iron Man: humahaba man, matigas pa rin na parang bakal.

14. Febkinse - 70 ways to make a man happy: number 1 is to LOVE him. The rest is 69.

15. Yñaki - The only price for having more than one wife is. . .having more than one Monster-in-law!

16. Mr. Perk - Girls are grown up once they start wearing bras. Boys are grown up once they start removing bras.

17. Mama Rosa - Men are like toilets: either they’re taken, out of order, or full of sh*t.

18. Bing - Women, regardless of time, when it’s the right guy, would want to get married. Men, on the other hand, regardless of who the girl is, when it’s the right time, would want to get married.

19. Racer - An English professor wrote “A woman w/o her man is nothing” He asked his students to punctuate it correctly. All males in the class wrote: “A woman, without her man, is nothing.” All females in the class wrote: “A woman: without her, man is nothing.” this one's my favorite.

20. Dojo - Men use love to get sex, while women use sex to get love.

21. Amanite The greatest revenge to a man who steals your woman is to let him have her…because a truly good woman can never be stolen.

22. Arxangel - In shopping: Man would buy a useful thing for P1000. Woman would buy a useless thing for P500.

23. No name - Lucky is the man who wins the 1st love of a woman. Luckier is the woman who wins the last love of a man. (aww...)

24. Febkinse - My boss: “Ako ang batas, si misis ang diyos.” (translated: i am the law. my wife is God)

25. No name - Wise men never get married because once they do, they become otherwise.

26. Mey - Men are like government bonds. They take sooo long to mature.

27. Ian024 - Madonna in the movie “Dangerous Game”: “Why did God create men? Because vibrators can’t mow the lawn."

From Strange Fruit: The top 10 signs that someone is OR is no longer a virgin

2009-08-01T16:24:00.004+09:00

I SAY... pag hindi ka natawa, ewan ko lng. being a virgin is always an issue with girls, specially if she has a boyfriend. the issue is always this: if they'd want to start having sex, or refrain from it. Even i was subjected to this pressure. When i lost my virginity, i never thought of it as a big deal, although coming clean about it came a little too difficult. One of the guys i was with told me, an adult relationship is never without sex. Sure. Guys like sex. If you meet a guy (not a gay guy) who didn't, tell me. Anyway, have fun! (fair warning: it contains our mother language)

There’s an age when it’s a shame to not be a virgin, but you also reach an age when it’s unthinkable if you still are. For me, too much ado about virginity. It’s nice if you treasure it and it goes to your first and one tru love, but otherwise, too much of an issue about a tissue.

December 5, 2008 → The Top Ten Signs That Someone Is Or Is No Longer A Virgin

Ehd/C.VanillaBen – Pag virgin, AMOY MELON. Pag di na virgin, MELON AMOY.
Maomao – Ang virgin, pag tinanong mo kung virgin, mao-offend. Ang non-virgin, pag tinanong mo kung virgin pa, ang sagot, “Siyempre oo noh! Virgin na virgin pa noh!”
Jeckerkll/Curt Smith – Ang tunog ng wiwi ng virgin, “Psssss…” Ang tunog ng wiwi ng non-virgin, “Wooosh!”
Maomao – Ang virgin, pag kinalabit mo, “Ano ba, wag diyan!” Ang non-virgin, “Tara, game?”
His Cuteness – Ang virgin pag umuwi after mag-burger with her bf, malinis ang lips. Ang non-virgin, may mayonnaise sa labi.
No name – A virgin would say “STOP IT, STOP IT!!!” A non virgin would say “STUFF IT, STUFF IT!!!”
Bocaio – Ang virgin, mahilig sa beer. Ang di na virgin, mahilig sa hard.
SPY Shadow – When taking medicine, virgins prefer oral while non-virgins would rather be injected.
Yñaki – Ang non-virgins, bago kainin ang iltog at chorizo sa umaga, hinihimas muna.
SC – Pag piki, virgin. Pag sakang, di na virgin.
SPY Shadow – Ang non-virgins, laging madumi ang pusod.
Specialist – Ang virgin, hatid sundo. Ang non-virgin, sundot hatid.
Ronnie – Drop something on her lap. Ang virgins, iipitin ang mga legs. Ang non-virgins, bubukaka.
Specialist – Virgins say, “Thank you!” Non-virgins say, “Please come again!”
No name – ang non-virgins, mahilig sa aso. Kasi, nagkakatuta.
Bocaio – Ang virgin, mahilig sa bihon. Ang non-virgin, mahilig sa canton.
Yani – Virgin: “Hihihi…” Non-virgin: “HAHAHA!”
Siver Bullet/ – Virgin: “Bakit mo ko dinala dito?” Non-virgin: “Bakit mo ko dinala dito? Mahina ang aircon dito!”

But she is a Hero...

2009-08-01T15:27:00.003+09:00

She's gone... the woman who led the People Power Movement. Mrs Corazon Aquino (fondly known as Tita Cory) had passed away.I'm just too partial for this caption. =)

I barely have consciousness when the PPM was ongoing, but i do have some kind of memory around it. It's sitting on our living room, and watching TV of what seemed like thousands of people in EDSA, hoping to catch a glimpse of my parents and my elder brother. Years later, every People Power Anniversary celebrated, i did. A video with a curly-haired boy on someone's shoulders is shown yearly. That used to be my brother.

remind me to visit the EDSA Shrine when i come back. To pay some respects to the woman who didn't want to be called a hero, but nonetheless she is.

Sound effects sold separately

2009-07-29T15:29:00.004+09:00

*tap, tap, tap* herm herm!!

Joy to the world
the teacher's dead
we bar-be-cued her head!

what happened to her body?
we flushed it down the potty
and round and round it goes
and round and round it goes...

an excerpt from The Simpson's very own "Nelson"

I like Nelson in the cartoons the Simpson's. He's a misunderstood kid who likes to pretend he's a very tough guy, but on the inside he's a real softie. There's one episode that proved that he's not just a bully.

I'm inspired by Nelson's song today because he is the kind of student i have wanted all my life. I told A a couple days ago that helping women and kids is what i really wanted to do(there's a title, you don't have to know). As a kid, there were clubs in school, and while everybody i knew swarmed to be at the "coolest" clubs, i joined a charity helper's club. There were ONLY 15 members and clubs were open to all levels. However, it's the club i liked the most. During High School i joined the same club, only mixed with a religion (i can sense A's objections rising). To make the long story short, i do want to help kids. I forgot about it when i started focusing on having fun and detaching myself from the geeky stuff. I forgot when i got married and had kids. I forgot and it's my fault. So now, I'm gonna have to fix my schedule so i could take my kids too, it'd be fun. A was kind enough to give me a charity org to start with. Just don't expect me to call immediately, alright? I am fixing what needs to be fixed FIRST.

*I'd tell you who A is, but he warned me that if i reveal him, he'd take DNA from me using the tip of his fingernails.*

There's one lesson that my Daddy taught me: help those in need. The rare moments that i shared with my Dad almost everything's stayed stuck. When my mother used to travel and take my two brothers (never me) on her business trip, i usually end up in Daddy's office. We'd take a bus, and a jeepney (way back then we didn't have a car, i was 6) and walk on a very busy pedestrian lane. His office was in Sta. Mesa (PLDT), and there's a place that we passed full of less fortunate people. Daddy's pockets are usually filled with coins. That day he took me to his office i understood why. =) He gave those coins to old women and children, but not the men. Everytime i go out with him, just him, it's a ritual, no matter where he goes. I don't see him do that when he's with my mother, though. No words. Just a role that he played. When i started working, i tried doing the same thing. I kinda get that i have to give back even a bit of what i received.

After leaving my father's house, after moving to Korea, not having a job made me stop. I cannot give if i have nothing to offer, right? And after the month of August, i know i can.

I have a job ^^.. part time but it's still something.

And it's definitely time to give back.

Speechless (aka i don't know how to respond)

2009-07-27T14:58:00.002+09:00

What do you like the most about Korea?

I have no response to that question. I could think a lot pf reasons why i like Korea, but certainly not "the most" likable.

Almost four years ago, when i came to Korea, the only "shock" i received was about how disciplined the pedestrians are. Coming from the Philippines, not everybody used the ped xing lanes. I know i usually don't. Not everybody used the pedestrian bridges (i forgot the word) to cross some major roads, and not everybody paid attention to the traffic lights. Who cares if it's green? No cars, just cross!!

Course there's a possibility that in some other cities in Korea there'd be some similar "pedestrian mishaps" but i certainly have not seen it in Gwangju.

Before coming here, i had been exposed to Korean culture for almost two years. I worked for an English Language Cram School. I was called a "boarding house teacher" in that school i worked for. Aside from my normal work load, I lived in a boarding house with the students where everything in the house is almost Korean-related: house rules, food, language (duh?), the works. My job living with them is to try and impose English as much as i can, and conduct evening classes for two hours every night. The classes called "Tea-time" are not really classes. It's an activity that we prepared, or what the students wanted, or needed wherein everything done is still in English. It could be a bowling session, a grammar cram session, a homework session, movies, sometimes just out and drinking (soju?). I had lived with Koreans 24-5. I had my share of hostilities from jerks or bitches, my share of sweet moments with the girls and boys, and major BOREDOM as sometimes, students just refuse to do anything in tea time therefore letting them do whatever they want, just making sure they'd speak even a little English.

So there was nothing really new to me when i came here. Even their language wasn't too surprising. Food? Again, living with Koreans 24/5 in a house where Korean food is served. People? I was a boarding house teacher: three houses with different number of people, changing every 4-6 months.

But i like Korea. I love the Philippines to a point i cannot explain, but i also like Korea. I like the season when all the bugs die or hibernate. I hate bugs. The bugs here are creepier. Centipedes are longer and thicker, ants are a little thicker (not bigger), butterflies are smaller but the caterpillars are bigger, bees (OMG) are everywhere... okay, nonsensical complaints =P but you get the idea, yes?

I like the respect given to old people. I haven't' been out much, but to the ones i have seen? The respect given to the elderly are amazing. Although the children are quite monstrous and impolite, i have yet to find out how they turn out to grow up somehow socially conscious of etiquette.

And in this random array of thoughts i have compiled (yet again) i still don't have an answer to that question... I still have more reasons why i like it here...

A Brian-Inspired Post

2009-07-17T00:38:00.002+09:00

This entry from Brian was stuck on my head. I found it disturbing.

To summarize, his entry was about a bear-cub being "trained" to face something, and all for the fun of the viewers. The caretaker of that particular cub annoyed me the most because she's torturing the animal. Now, i may not be an animal lover, but i sure am not cruel to them. I just ignore, or get out of its way. IF it doesn't need help, then we leave it alone,. If it's almost dying, injured or whatever, there's always some gloves (i hate touching animals).

Two days ago, my husband's cousin's wife gave birth to a baby girl. There was so much muss and fuss from our side, because F-i-L said we have to go see (or give graces) to the little girl. Oh, sure!

Before i rant on what happened today, i will tell you one thing: i kinda dislike the kid's mother. Why?

Cousin's wife is older than cousin. She looks mid-30's, while cousin is just late 20's. A lot of issues were raised when they asked permission to get married. SHE'S OLDER. Husband is the first born male of the first born patriarch (F-i-L). His opinions matter. I told husband age is not a factor (since we have a 10-year gap), what matters is that they're decided. I convinced the man it's not an issue.

Fast Forward to: M-i-L's 60th birthday. As all Koreans do, it's important to celebrate their 60th turn. Something related to history, like it's lucky to be alive at 60. So there we were, celebrating in another raw fish restaurant (eeew) with the entire clan. Cousin and his wife were there, so was my brother-in-law and his wife. Among these women, i hold the highest respect. Not by choice, i'm telling you, but by tradition. Both of them are older than me by a considerable gap. However, i do not care. Some of my friends are older than my husband, some of my ex-staffs were older than M-i-L herself! Heck, age is never an issue to me.

As part of what i should be doing, i have to at least mingle with these women. My kids are older, and we will see each other during holidays, whether i like it or not. So i went to join them. With the news that cousin's wife is having a baby, i thought i should congratulate her. To be polite, and to acknowledge the fact that the clan's growing. The two women were sitting on the same table, and when i obviously joined their table, somehow they decided to ignore me.

... okay...

Then, after the celebration, we were all getting ready to leave when i noticed cousin's wife was looking at me like i'm a bug. WTF?! Like i was disgusting or something. Keep in mind, women in families don't really have any roles, except for the wives of the first borns. eeew. if she wants my responsibilities, then be my effing guest. she obviously has no idea on how MY JOB works.

*************************************
Then i'd have to go see her and her kid to pay some respect? She didn't do her part, why should i go? She looked at me like a bug, maybe she was thinking, i'm just a gold digger because i came from another country, is waay younger than her (and everybody else, for that matter), and should be ignored.
*************************************

Course there's a possibility that she's also an idiot who can't speak english like my brother-in-law's wife.

I suddenly thought of Brian's post. Putting two species in one cage is not just done in zoos here. On Saturday, i will be put in the lion's cage, although i'm the monkey. Husband knows what this little crapper did, and told my son before he and his grandmother paid a visit: Hit the damn baby (in Korean).

Wouldn't you know it? My son answered: 네!

aww.. poor kiwi!

2009-07-15T23:58:00.005+09:00

this entry is inspired by strange fruit, the blog of one of the two greatest DJ's in the Philippines: Chico Garcia.

A video featured in his blog entitled kiwi.

It's quite heartbreaking, in a way that can be related to a lot of people.

Sometimes we focus on the ONE thing that fate has deprived us of, and we spend all our lives chasing after that ONE unattainable goal, even if it leads to our eventual ruin.

Including me.

So we gloss over whatever blessing, whatever gift, whatever good fortune that was bestowed on us and focus on that which was, at least in our limited understanding, withheld. Sometimes we chase after love, or success, or wealth, or fame, or recognition, or approval, or lost youth, or whatever pipe dream we chase after that’s always just a few steps ahead, conveniently out of our reach. And when the unattainable remains unattained, we’re willing to risk anything, whatever the cost, just to reach our goal,

My goal, my dream, my purpose...

and i still remember everything from the day they were conceived. =)

Writing Comes with a Stroke of Inspiration.

2009-07-10T17:10:00.002+09:00

... and i guess it's not really happening today. I am sooo bored. So as a result, i am compiling a dizzying array of thoughts from random days...

Our newest addition to our family: a dachshund mixed mongrel (Any). Haven't i mentioned that i'm an animal hater? i HATE animals... and the animals just keep on coming, and coming *sigh*

Last Sunday, M-i-L exchanged our white Jindo dog for a puppy. 창아 was the dog who greeted me when i came here in Korea. I hated dogs then, i hated dogs till now, but being there for three years and then suddenly gone is quite painful. I actually cried. One of the rare moments i actually shed tears (LOL).

Miming is not eating cat food. Because she prefers rice. I don't know how, i don't know why. One day after we have decided to keep him, we hadn't gotten around of buying cat food. The old woman who lives next door gave us half a bucket of scorched (rather burned) rice to give as dog food (the next dog owner is 7 houses away). My first thought was throw it immediately because dogs don't eat rice (not ours, anyway). M-i-L gave the dog rice and Miming chased after it. So, this little furball's diet is: fish entrails (i am a fish eater... not meat) meaning guts and gills not bones, and rice. course we have to cook it for a couple minutes... and he is now quite fat. ^^

NB slandered me on his blog... although thanks to him i had a great idea. ^^ he's an idiot. I just don't get how NB's so mad at Filipinos. Maybe he went to Angeles City (the only place he knew) and the prostitutes there leeched all his money (LMAO). My friends and i actually have a great time slandering him with disgusting speculations while we talk. Dumb Blonde Samuel is his worshipper. Looks to me like faggot worship ^^. And yes, they will be both slandered on my blog whenever i feel like it. After all, i'm a girl! I can bitch out anytime i want. Men, if they keep on doing that, they're gay. ^^

We're expecting a job interview from Ireland. They called yesterday, e-mailed me because there wasn't any response, and will call again. ^^ I mentioned couple blogs ago that i do not believe in articulate Irishes. I was just proven wrong as call centers (rather contact centres) are now popping up like mushrooms on the job sites i'm using... some of it located in Northern Ireland.

And lastly, i'm trying to build a website. Still groping in the dark because i'm an idiot, but i'm going to try anyway. ^^

Had enough?

2009-06-27T01:06:00.002+09:00

oh, that's not my boobs. it's pinkish, see? caucasian's. i'm guessing it's NB's mother's while breastfeeding him.

He ate those larvaes as a kid and those disgusting things wriggled their way up to NB's brain...

NB= Nightmare Believer
NB= No Balls
NB= No brains... already devoured by those horrible worms while he was raised in what he claims as his upper-middle class past.

Keep missing me. I know you just LOVE having me around.

Maybe my Prejudice was placed wrongly

2009-06-24T01:20:00.003+09:00

or maybe not.

Today, while hunting, i noticed the newly posted blog entries by my favorite bloggers (NB, you're not one of them). See, i leave my cookies running so i can have the same sites the next time i turn on my computer. I also open just one or two windows, and running multiple tabs so as not to get too crowded.

I will explain this one again: my prejudice against native speakers in Korea happened because i AM discriminated against them. I am fishing the same market, and i am telling you that competing with them is almost humiliating. My resume's impressive and memorable, my phone interviews mistake me as an NS, but my Nationality immediately gives that screeching halt. Oh, sure.

I dislike Caucasians, but i am trying to prove myself wrong all the time. This discrimination i was raised with is not something i want to live by. So working on proving myself wrong (the way i want to prove myself wrong that there is no such thing as an articulate Irish)... I already have Caucasian friends, and they're sweet people. I am still, however, hung up with disliking them as a whole. To the idiot NB, Caucasians are NOT JUST Americans, alright?

Moving along.

As i was reading through my fave bloggers' entry, clicking the links they posted, reading their featured articles one at a time, i realized something. These NS's and i have a lot more in common after all. Sure they receive better treatment when it comes to interacting with Koreans, they earn 25% more than a Korean minimum wage, and get better benefits, but as a whole, they are judged by stereotype like me with worse reviews.

Filipino wives (Asians, the like) married to Korean men are immediately labeled as gold diggers and mail-ordered brides from a matchmaking agency. You don't get the same label with other colors. The Korean men must be farmers, fishermen, physically or mentally handicapped. Basically the men in which Korean women won't give a second look. From another Filipino's point of view, these (Filipino) women who succumb to such are either desperately wanting to get married, or those who came from the remotest rural areas wanting an easier way out, or the worst: no Filipino guy wanted them. This might be true ten, fifteen years ago, and is still an actual practice. But i come from a generation wherein the women dominate, and that we dated our husbands before moving in this country where the people only see what they saw before, and refuse to believe that there might be another reason. If you want to find the women that are not from this stereotype inter-racial marriage, you will see them online, but you will never "just" meet them in any place. They're hiding in shame.

And why wouldn't they? Last Monday we went to a local government office and the woman who was assisting us whispered (she thought i was not listening or cannot understand) something really offensive about me coming from the Philippines. The mere fact that she whispered ticked me the most, actually. And this much i can tell you:my respect is given ONLY to those who deserve it. So when everybody greeted goodbye, i just went out without looking. So sue me. It happens all the time. Once, while we were in a children's hospital, there was an NS and his wife and his M-i-L. Both our kids were confined for some reason, and i was hoping i could make friends with his wife (not him, etiquette please!) because i can barely speak Korean and she must speak English. I tried, while her mother was looking and they (woman and her mother) looked at me like i was something stuck on a lavatory. Eeew. I raised an eyebrow while clearly staring at them as i walk. Next day they moved to another floor. *shrugs*

Oh, and Nurses do the same. At least Doctors are better, but the nurses! One of them even told me that i am living in Korea i should learn their language. The other one said she cannot speak English so she doesn't want to talk to me about my kid's condition. I replied: you wouldn't be nurses of you didn't pass toeic or TOEFL. You're just hypocrites. And that's just a couple of the many battles we had to go through as we deal with everyday and domestic Korean culture, not the working or the business sector.

However, the NS's community has THE worst critique! Compared to our situation, at least we're not labelled as AIDS-spreading, liquor-abusing, drug addicts! To my limited point of view that could be the worst status anyone could ever get. I feel horrid! I may have disliked these NS's for a while now, but that doesn't mean i have no sympathy to those had to be labeled with something as despicable as that when it's not a fact to anybody but a few.

I have lived in two countries now, and encountered a variety of races and ethnicities, but it always rolls down to one: People are the same everywhere around the globe. There are good people and bad people. And foreigners take the worst judgment ever in any country. The E2 visa holders are screened. If one or two rotten eggs got mixed up with the good ones, it wouldn't be their fault. Blame the idiots who approve and stamp their visas.

I'm getting sleepy. i'll do a part2 later.

미밍 (Miming) has a home!

2009-06-22T00:28:00.002+09:00

And this decision came out not rather unanimous as;
1. it's a cat, it sheds quite a lot of fur.
2. it's a cat, and nobody knows anything about it. and;
3. IT'S A CAT!!!

Not to mention the possibilities of allergies and the hidden diseases he has because he was a stray barely a week ago, and we still cannot give it a bath as his little paw is not yet healed. But then again, we dicided to keep him. There were six people who will decided if Miming's going to stay, or will he be thrown out after his paw gets better: Mother and Father-in-Law, husband, me, Isaac (my son) and Yzbel (my daughter).

Two kids said: keep!
husband said: throw
father-in-law said: throw (very dirty creature!)
i say: i don't know
and...
mother-in-law said: why not...

So i guess we'll be buying Cat Food after all.. =) three people voted for him to stay.

미밍 (Miming) has a home!

Momma and the Cat Update

2009-06-20T00:18:00.001+09:00

The cat already has a name: Miming (미밍). She's quite fond of me. I don't get why me, but my kids love it when she limps towards me and tries to get me to stroke her, which i do while wearing gloves. If not she wouldn't shut up.

So three questions:

1. How am i to get rid of this cat after it gets better without risking my son's heart breaking?

2. What am i supposed to do with this little furball? and;

3. What on earth do these creatures eat? i will not risk buying cat food as it's a stray and will not stay long, so we feed it dog food instead (we have a dog, and is chained forever).

Momma and the Cat

2009-06-17T23:12:00.002+09:00

If you know me at all then you are aware that i HATE animals.

I hate ALL bugs but two: butterflies and ants.

I only like one animal and it's an impossible pet: dolphins.

I'm afraid of dogs. As a kid i was bitten by a huge dog. I think it's safe to say I'm phobic. The sound of a barking dog can send me to tears.

I'm afraid of frogs and their kind. When i was 13 i had a dream of an aquarium. A HUGE aquarium with three animals inside; a praying mantis, a lizard and a frog. Somehow, i was watching the three animals and i saw the praying mantis catch and eat the lizard. Halfway through the lizard screamed, "help! help me!"(in Filipino language, Tagalog). After that, i woke up shaking, scared and crying. Three years to get over my fear of lizards (today, still shaky with the thought, nonetheless okay), and still working on my fear of frogs.

I specially HATE cats. I don't like their claws, don;t like their tails. i just hate cats. They're not cute, nowhere near. I don't understand cat-lovers but i don't care. I don't want cats near my kids because they might give my darlings asthma. I cannot explain. It's irrational, but nobody's bothered by it so it's irrelevant.

But it's a weird day today. Earlier posts, i keep on mentioning that i do not go out. Not even the front gate once a day. However, my husband went out by the car, and it took him three minutes. He doesn't smoke by the car, he usually smokes on the roof, or by the stairs, NEVER beside the car. SO i thought he went to buy more smokes. I went out to close the gate, looked left and right, and i saw my husband stooping. He was pointing something underneath the car.

"What's up?"

And there it was, a kitten. It was injured. One of her paws is broken, and she's got this half-healed wound under her ear. It was heart-breaking. The little furball went as far as she could out of my husband's reach, but when i kneeled and stretched my arms to her, she limped towards me.

Husband, the ultimate apathetic turd, immediately said not to, that I can't take it inside the house. Well, i may be a stuck-up bitch, but if something needs help, we should. And that cat certainly does. So if he doesn't want the cat inside, i will ask M-i-L. Husband HAS no choice. Not to mention my son kept on yelling that there's a cat. =) he was excited to see an animal on the premises.

We already fixed her. We (husband and i) put a little cast-like for her broken paw, and disinfected her wound. At first we (M-i-L and i) put her on a box, but she kept on jumping to get out. So we let her choose her spot (she picked under the stairs), put in a place to sleep, gave her food and milk. Right now she's sleeping.

I told my son, and will tell my daughter, and i will make sure that they will remember: when something needs help, it's our responsibility to help. That is one very valuable lesson my kids need to learn. After all, my Dad taught me the same.

Help those in need.

Although, I'm not sure if i will keep the cat. I still hate cats, you know. But my son... if you would have seen the look on his face while he stroked this dirty stray... My daughter's scared of the furball, but kept on looking anyway (heehee!)... My son, Isaac already told us (husband and i), that we should not throw away the cat, and that he wants to wake up tomorrow and SEE the cat (his father's already planning on how to get rid of this little cat). He's a demanding little shrew, like his momma, and he made sure that his father knows that he wanted the cat.

We'll see!

My hidden Agenda

2009-06-12T16:25:00.000+09:00

I am part of this inter-racial marriage. Through the laws of Korea i am in a rather lower part of the society, and i don't care.

I have two kids, and i treasure them. They can make or break my day... usually make =). But there's a law in Korea with regards to them and their parents. I highly doubt my husband and i would get a divorce like these opportunist who went to Korea for their Korean Dream (like nb said), but prefer to be safe. My kids, if we separate, would go to my husband. According to the Korean system, their fathers would give them a much better future than what their foreign mothers can give. Just thinking that they would be taken away from me makes me choke. I can't, i'd rather jump off a building (too Korean)...

And i want to prove that wrong. My husband and i vowed to grow old together, and we will share our whole life together, but just to be on the safe side...

I'd rather him be my house husband. ;)

My diary, go away!

2009-06-12T00:20:00.001+09:00

*Edited*
This entry was done because an idiot suddenly came and decided he'd be a bitch. My apologies if you're nice and then you had to read this.

There's a warning on my profile: i am disturbed. this is my outlet, and i do not need anyone to point that one out. I did not ask you to come here and be sympathetic, or insult what i am trying to change or do. I am not angry, not yet. I am not bitter, rather annoyed. Try and feed the fire and it might explode.

It is my journal, meant for me and me alone. Nobody begged you to read it.

I wouldn't know as i have NEVER been to Angeles City, but it has a reputation. Not everyone who went there shared the same sentiments as Teddy Roosevelt did. Of course, you wouldn't know nor care as it's one of the darkest parts of our history. Funny you mentioned it and not know how that place turned out.

You called me poor. Were you there when i was born, or when i was raised, or when i was studying? Your country is no doubt wealthier than my motherland, but that doesn't mean we didn't have status nor standards. I know what we are, and i am not one of the stereotype mail-ordered from a matchmaking agency. Course, since you're an idiot too, you will NEVER understand, but I have time, i will explain to a simpleton how.

My husband was my student. We dated, we were in-love, had pre-marital sex (aka fuckfest), i was an idiot then I had a baby before we got married. That's why i am disowned. My father's family is Chinese, my mother's is partially Spanish. Do you have any idea how they raised daughters?

There's more... husband has no religion. My father would have murdered me if he found out i tried to go to other churches. Knowing that husband was an atheist he was infuriated even more. My mother's side had already threatened to dispose this man i share my life with. I can either choose to save him or live a life full of guilt. This part of my life is over. I am happy with my choice.

My life, as you called it sad and pathetic only has ONE factor that you see. I'm married. The word has it's own complications, you wouldn't know as you are still dating. Having kids immediately isn't as bad as you picture it to be. it's not toxic, means we are both healthy so we have to be careful. You only encountered a couple of Filipinos, the stereotypes, and you already judged and assumed that everybody gets pregnant right after marriage. You really are an imbecile.

This was actually our second school. The first one was taken away because of office politics with the Korean counterparts. Through some contract technicalities we were not able to retrieve what we invested. The SOB left there is so happy as he was able to get three times his money's worth, plus the entire school itself. We declared bankruptcy, meaning our SAVINGS WERE ZEROED. We still have an income, and we still pay the bills on time. Not like we're in the "government budget" the way US poor people do. Panic season for us starts in two years, when my son will need to go to school. If I think of their future, i plan (rather five months ago). Course if i were in speaking terms with my father it would be easier... but i don't want to. i prefer my way, and my way alone. With this i am happy. Not satisfied, as satisfaction is not an easy thing to achieve, but comfortable. Obviously i want a greener pasture as i am trying to build up our savings again, and to re-establish what we (husband and i) agreed: me working, him my house husband.

There! We're not stereotype. Nowhere near.

An update...

2009-06-10T00:11:00.000+09:00

I failed that Summer Camp interview. The interview went well, i received positive feedbacks, but they already interviewed over 40 people, and they will only hire 9.

Do the math. So i'm off to hunt again!

I don't like you too.

2009-06-09T01:30:00.000+09:00

Hello, NB. Nice of you to drop in. Apparently, you have tried to judged me and my life in a nutshell i'd like to call my blog. My friend said no one should heed such morons. But I'm an evil WHORE. And since you judged me according to stereotype...

I checked your blog. Interesting pictures of Asian women with hideous short bowlegs, showing off their bodies like it's the most beautiful thing in the world. It made me puke.

Decent men attract decent women. Jerks go out with bitches. And since you're a garbage spitting Sasquatch, your 95 pound sexy girlfriend must be a slutbag whore. nice adjective for a 17-year-old. In which case, i know you wouldn't deny it, rather confirm that she IS indeed a slutbag whore... as you only go out with their kind.

You must be very well mannered, as you kept on insulting almost everything. You must have grown up in a place where everybody is as well mannered as you are, same way as there might be no decent men from where i came from. You're from US? Ah, yes. The superior race of people. The ultimate racists. The country without an ORIGINAL culture.

Although i agreed with you on some points: Korean women are hypocrites when it comes to sex and provocative clothing. They will keep on insisting that they're conservative, but their mini skirts can give the firecrotch a run for her money.

Hurray! reijene's reeling in!!

2009-05-27T00:23:00.000+09:00

~oh happy day!!

i slept fitfully last Sunday, at around past 3 AM.. having the same thoughts, the same worries, the same crappy burden, plus marital problems, mood swings, tantrums equals a disaster of a day. I usually hate weekends, as it highlights boredom; grandparents take my kids, and husband sleeps the whole day or play computer games ignoring my existence except when he gets hungry... never mind. Let's proceed....

I hunt. Even though i mentioned that i already gave up looking for hagwon jobs, i still hunt. I hunt relentlessly, because i hunt for two people (husband and me). As the job market is always open internationally, being aggressive is the only way to find anything.

I usually wake up around 10 or 10:30. Since i slept rather badly, i was thinking of staying in bed until 11. My M-i-L will watch the kids for an hour or two, as my little pumpkin wakes at 9, and my little mushroom at 10. Monday morning brought the same stuff... my son asking permission to watch cartoons, my daughter bugging his brother to play, except one: my cellphone ringing @ 10.

My cellphone only has about 10 or 15 people. Husband, M-i-L, F-i-L, i have two friends in Korea, my last two students and their house number, my husband's female friend who i snap at and humiliate since she can't speak English everytime she calls (jealous wife), one of my old students (about 5 years ago), idiots who calls for my husband and husband doesn't want to talk to, namely bitch, bad, freak, do not answer; and husband's best friend's Vietnamese wife.

and not making sense here, just rambling.

my phone ringing is weird, since nobody really calls it. and the number started (02), probably seoul, i thought. nonetheless, i psyched myself to humiliate whoever calls and looks for my husband, or a telemarketer.

"allor." ---------> that's how i really answer the phone. it scares telemarketers.

"oh, hello. I'm calling for Kristel (that's my name)."

"speaking."

"i am from Pagoda Outsourcing and i understand that you applied for our summer camp positions?" BLAH, BLAH BLAH... ph..pho.. PHONE INTERVIEW?!?!?!?!

=) and there you have it... i am supposed to go to Seoul this week, for an actual interview..

only... my M-i-L is a little apprehensive about it, as she said (with a good point too), that the Internet is a source of about a million scams, and Korea's not excluded. So she redialed the number that called me, and the woman who answered the phone was an idiot, or she didn't know, and mother-in-law was affirmed that it was a scam alright!! =(

I didn't think so, this time, i gave the contact number from the online information posted. She called, and this time, a guy answered, which doubled her suspicions that it was really a scam.

6 hours later, after a seminar conducted for interracial marriage (in Korean so help me God!), M-i-L's swimming session, somehow, she was convinced as i was that it was REAL. She made a few more phone calls while we were away, and re-scheduled my interview!! We go to Seoul next week... =)

... it's just a summer camp. but it's better than nothing, yes?

I need Cheese with this Whine!

2009-05-14T01:27:00.000+09:00

Because it's late, I'm exhausted and exasperated, i guess it's time for me to whine yet again.

Well, I'm still job hunting, and i won't even get close to a bait. Often times i just want to yell and bitch slap some facts that Koreans are ignoring while they continuously recruit people from abroad.

I am against the continuous hiring of the so-called Native Speakers. The ones already in Korea are fine, but to convince people from the western hemisphere that Korea's going to pay them a good sum of money plus more benefits when there are people here who can do the same job being denied... and yes, I'm talking about me... 5000 JOBS all across the country and i can't even fish one.

My last job was in Chonnam National University. It was a charity case, the students from one of the laboratories who were preparing for an abroad trip asked me that as a favor. I only needed them to pay for my transpo.. basically they paid for the gas in our car so i could teach them 3 times a week for a year. And that was three years ago. The next couple students i had were all private coaching. I was worried those days because i always thought of my son and (last year) my daughter. Who would watch them? And because the country's economic status three years ago was better than the present, current finance is a problem.

First quarter this year we declared bankruptcy. Last year, when my daughter was born, my husband decided to go against all odds and established a language school in the Philippines. He used the same concept as the old school i used to work at; school and dorm package. But as my porn is the stock market, i have seen the "then" fore-coming crisis, and as my husband is a very stubborn man who wouldn't listen to me, he went full steam ahead. No market, no students. No students, no money. No money, borrow money for maintenance. No students, no way to pay for the bills, and the borrowed money. It's a disaster, last year. I'd like to help but i can't... the only weak point my husband has: marketing and marketing strategies.

So yes, i need a job. If you ask why my husband isn't looking for a job and why the pressure is on my shoulder, there's a simple answer: he can't get hired here. He's 34 years old, his age is the shittiest factor i have ever encountered. He's got a PH D, in Industrial Engineering. He studied the jack-of-all-trades.. which is pointless as he's unemployable. He doesn't mind though, he's a businessman at heart. He had never seen his parents do anything other than run their own business... I also don't want him to look for a job either... as we specifically agreed that he IS my house husband. But in times like this, i swallowed my pride and we're both hunting for jobs... him at the international job market, me in Korea.

But Korea's not kind... at least not to my specie. They want NS... the fresher the better. The economically active group of people cannot get hired, the people with the same abilities but different countries cannot get hired, Is Korea desperately trying to be a country full of diversity that it has forgotten the people already inside?

I'm tired, and sleepy... and a couple more minutes I'd get cranky. But i need to hunt... and hunt some more, and hope that one of the companies would break from the pact and take a chance. But that's just me... my wishful thinking. I need a job...

The Wonderfully Stupid Wondergirls

2009-05-09T00:11:00.000+09:00

If you live in Korea, or for whatever reason (i'm not interested) you're obsessed with Korean Entertainment business, it's possible that you know them. Last time i checked there was a kiss-ass nobody telling this group composed of the silliest five girls that they are ready to take on Hollywood, and that Hollywood would be ready for them. THEY'RE FAMOUS here in Korea.

Their first hit "Tell me" had driven me crazy. Like all of their other songs. Try and find it, if you like it, then i can honestly say you lack sensible music taste. The way i tell my husband, it's BLECH!!!

So let's rant....

I avoided watching music channels here. One: it's in Korean, i don't like it. TWO: NO ONE can dance decently so what's the point of watching?? Just listen to the radio (which i also cannot tolerate). And THREE: I have not found one Korean Pop, RnB, Jazz, or any kind of music artist i can actually enjoy seeing, or listening to... And that coming from a hardcore music lover (thanks to my mom and dad) is something.

So what's with these Wondergirls? They're pretty to Korean standards (not me), they have very little asses, they have no boobs, they have the hideous and skinny Asian bowlegs, and they have flat stomachs. That's just it. They're not sexy. They can't sing... (OMG, try and listen), they can't dance (grace is not their friend), they're very stiff, and they have no originality. Nothing that they're doing right now, can make me say "that's new" because... THEY'RE POSERS!

Oh, nothing. I just don't like them They're the very first trying hard girl group who can't sing but had hits that caught the mass Korean fan base. Good thing Koreans suck (or most of them at least) at English or i'd be hoarding hate mails. One music channel is right in the middle of my favorite channel, and Cartoon Network (Squirt's channel), which makes it impossible to avoid seeing these girls. Once, while flipping though TV, i saw them again. Imagine my HORROR when i saw them trying to imitate BEYONCE'S Single Ladies... dance moves, vocals, the works. I swear to God, i literally puked. I could blame their choreographer, or i could blame their artistic ideas that go way over their heads, or i could do both. WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH THESE GIRLS? Hasn't anybody even told them that straight arms is equivalent to stiff arm movement? And that their legs together won't do anything to a dance routine? So they're not dancing.. they're FLAILING! So sad that Korean people think these girls are great performers.

Well... they're not. And they call themselves the first wonder....

In the end.. it's just me. Because they have enchanted the world without anybody actually noticing that these girls have no talent.. just lucky and that they had a break in the industry.

WARNING: UK TEACHING SCAM

2009-05-02T20:39:00.000+09:00

It started out last week. It's still quite fresh.

I am a job hunter. I hunt for jobs because as the world economy had been on a slump, jobs aren't easy to find. I hunt jobs not just for me, but for my husband as well. Since he's not very confident when it comes to English sites, i don't mind. i hunt. I post our resumes left and right. Although i gotta admit, my resume has a little bit more fire than husband's as it was my own

The first message i received was mid-April. An invitation to work in UK... sweet offer, with sweet salary plus benefits. But i thought it must be a wrong send. I checked the names on the message header and i saw that they are great English teachers! Licensed, with Masters... no there must be a mistake.

Then i received two more.. and this time, since i am a job hunter, without a clue where i have left my resume online, i consulted my husband. I was skeptical. But as my husband usually doesn't tell me anything positive (as i clearly instructed him to do), soothed my doubts away and encouraged me to try. There's always no harm in trying... but i smelled something fishy about it. They all wanted the same: teach my wife and kids.

I like kids... and so, one afternoon while my kids were napping, i responded to these e-mails. Be warned, it's a scam. DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT IT.

Looking For An ESL Teacher
...
Miguel diaz
...
View Thursday, April 23, 2009 8:57:04 AM
To:dr.igmiguel@gmail.com

Dear Teacher,
i am Dr Miguel Diaz from Colombia,presently residing here in the UK with
my wife amandine and two kids by name , Sebastian and Diana ,
i am in need of an english teacher to come and teach my wife and kids for
a period of one year,
Compensation and Benefits Package.:A very attractive monthly salary which
is GBP4,500 Paid monthly, Quality single or family hhousing on arrival down
here,medical insurance,travel allowance,
Thank you for your anticipated response phone: +447024043001...
Dr Miguel

Oh, this is just one... Only this one actually progressed.

Dear Teacher Deianne
hope you are doing very good at the moment,
i sure sent the e-mail to you ok,there is nothing mistaken about it,
is nice getting your interest over the job,i have gone through your
resume which you sent to me and it is very excellent though brief,
how long have you been at south Korea?
your level of experience is very great and i think i can confine in that alone,
when can you be able to make it down here?
are you presently working?
do you have a valid international passport?
will you be coming alone or with your kids?
your resume did not even state if you are a male or female,
will be waiting to hear from you asap,feel free to call me at your free time
presently discussing you with my wife and kids,
cheers
Dr Miguel

I'm an idiot! He's flattering and he can't do English... as bad (or worse!) than Koreans. Let's cut to the chase. Two days later, he sent me a CONTRACT. A very vague contract, so i had to consult my friend in Australia. She had been travelling around the globe because of jobs. I was excited, I'm telling you. I thought, why is Korea so unkind? And this man is willing to hire me even though i only mentioned i am not a native speaker... He said i could take my family and he'd pay for absolutely everything... airfare, utilities, the works. He even sent pics!!

I say... okay.. i see kids. But my husband, skeptical as i am, he's more. He requested a picture of their house, and the house that was for me.

The big house (he said) his house, and the one on the right would be mine. His reason why there aren't any interior pics (from "my" house) is because it's being decorated and it's locked.

QUESTION: IF HE WAS THE ONE RENT THE PLACE THEN WHY CAN'T HE ACCESS IT?

Cute London house. I heard houses in London look like this.... very similar.

Okay... starting to get drowsy here. I'll be back, with more news.

At Least i Knew i Had a Shot until...

2009-04-21T22:59:00.000+09:00

And i am blogging again because of another disappointment.

This afternoon, after contemplating long and hard on whether i should call or not, i decided there's no harm in doing a phone interview. I was nervous, i got to admit. The last interview i had was on the Philippines, in the Korean Embassy on how i became a teacher, where i came from (you're the first one i ever interviewed who was born and raised on the Metro AND married a Korean[IDIOT MAN]) or why i married my husband (an even bigger stupidity). Okay, starting to get round in circles here...

My last job in the Philippines, it was ME who did the interviews. In the University i worked at was a charity case. I was called in to do the kids a favor. The students i had all came to me. Today i had to undergo a serious anxiety attack before placing that call. I was going to call TWO possible employers. I should have called yesterday, but courtesy dictates, i just sent my resume so call the next day just to be sure it was read, and to be extra polite, i had to check my mail before calling. NOTHING, so i decided to call right after lunch. And i did.

The first call i placed, it was a secretary, i assume, who answered the phone. The man i was hoping to talk to was still having lunch (i suppose) so i had to call again after an hour. I called again, and the phone call was ignored. I'm not calling again...

The second phone call i did, i was able to reach the manager. We talked for a couple minutes until i mentioned that i was NOT a native speaker. He asked a couple more questions until finally he said,

i would like to hire you, but we have to give priority to US or Canada etc...

aww... OUCH! I thanked him for his time, and spent the rest of my afternoon weeping. Pathetic that i cried over rejection when i used to NEVER care. I turned into a wimp! So, i took a shower, and tried to wash away the thoughts that started tormenting me again.... that i can't get an effing job because my nationality gets in the way. Obviously, it failed miserably.
BECAUSE these people would rather hire an inexperienced anybody from those countries, born with English as their first language. The Irish has the worst accent (my opinion, nobody else's) i have ever encountered. I tried listening to Irish accent and i was terribly annoyed. It's hardly recognizable. The kiwis, their pronunciation of words are almost homophonic! Indiscernible unless you pay close attention to. US and Canada are linked together, contemporary conversations are usually done in their style... Brits and Australians are holders of the typical old-fashioned english (no offense). Their accent are usually what's used with it. I SAID USUALLY, not all!

I wonder why the Korean Government announced that there's a possibility of our kind to work here, when obviously, there is no chance in hell that we could. All recruiting agencies i have tried won't cater to my kind. Early this year, it was announced that Asian teachers will egt a shot at the ESL job market of Korea this year, WHEN HIRING SEASON has come, and is closing soon.

OH, ALRIGHT!

2009-04-20T14:49:00.000+09:00

I admit! I'm a good girl, in every sense. The idea of me being bitchy and snappy is a cover up, because i usually am taken advantage of. I hate that. I soo despised it because; 1. even my mother did it, and; 2. I was brought up like a Spanish daughter. If you don't know how that one works out, think of it like this: you know i exist, but you have NEVER seen me. In rare occassions wherein you decided to visit my father's house, you will ONLY get a whiff of my existence, and NEVER see me for the rest of your stay, unless you were invited for an over-nighter.

Although, part of me really is a bitch. I became tough love.. that is, four years after i left.

My prejudice against Native Speakers? It's only because i am discriminated against them. Well, not just me, but the rest of my kind. And it's not fair. Life's never fair, but all i can do is hate the twisted system altogether. I have, as the rest of Korea calls it, NATIVE SPEAKER friends. They're very sweet people, and i have even invited some of them to work here when the job market opened. Sometimes, when i'm watching kiddie TV programs, and i see some NS making mistakes, i get so worked up, then i start ranting (yet again) on why the system is soo perplexing.

I don't like Caucasians because, they creep me out. They remind me of perverts that roam around the cities of Manila when night falls. Oh, alright! Because my mother and my father brainwashed me that they're not good people. So are the Japanese and Korean people. Although i proved to them that Korean people are quite kind, i think running away with my now-husband might have given them a much worse impression. =P. My friends from the old school i worked at thought i was very naive, because i do, and say only what my mother puts on my head, and my mouth. Took me a while to get my own words back. I even lost a very good friend because my mother put ideas on my head, and didn't trust my own judgement. That good friend, is still very mad at me. I apologized to her after realizing what happened, and she didn't bother herself with it. That much damage.

SO now, every bit of me is working hard to have an identity. Far from my mother's words, and different from my father's, SOmewhere in me, the little girl with my mother's ideas and words sometimes comes out and play, and she destroys good relationships i had. The new person i am trying to be, is trying to murder her. =)

Filipino Basher

2009-04-17T23:02:00.000+09:00

An idiot KIWI here thought she's smarter than an entire country.

And i will face the fact that i am like her. But she's not all that. As a native speaker, she should have at least a decent way of writing.... NOT! Her grammar stinks (if you're a teacher, you'd find the spot immediately), assuming that she's a KIWI, her accent should be (dare I use the word?) *toot*.

Let me clarify something: the Philippines, much as this idiot woman claims difficult to understand with regards to our spoken English, has a load of dialects that have some stiff accents, even for our standards. And then maybe, she should just quit her job. 250 call centers in the Philippines will drive her crazy. I say, i'm all for it!!

WOOT! Philippine job market is happy. One very smart, and very lucky person can steal her current position. And i will pray for that to happen very soon.

JOBHUNTING'S SUCH A BITCH!

2009-04-13T22:55:00.000+09:00

I am now officially pathetic.

Thank you for your application but unfortunately we can not help you to apply public school in South Korea due to public school application regulations.

Native English teacher must graduate middle school to university in English speaking country including US, CA, NA, AU, SA and UK .

If you haven't graduated your secondary school and university in one of those countries then we can not help you to apply public school in South Korea .

As we are recruiting public school teachers in South Korea our agency won't able to help you with this case.

I wish you best luck for your future ESL career and Thank you for your understanding in advance.

Best wishes

What best wishes? I HAVE graduated secondary level. I AM a university UNDERGRADUATE. The only fucked up fact that is that i am not a citizen of any of those Native Speaking Countries. And they will accept Mexicans because it said NORTH and SOUTH America.

UGH! Who cares! Once upon a time, i was a very promising teacher, with leadership and managerial skills to boot! I was an aspiring writer, challenging myself over, and over, and over just to keep up with the evolution of THIS language this country desperately yearns. But again.. WHO EFFING CARES?! In this frustrating place, i am a useless sack of muck product from a country, more effective in speaking English than these idiots who are now fishing abroad for more white skinned teachers who they hope, can teach this language they sooo want.

You want rave, I'll give you rave. Did you know that in the Philippines, these people coming from these countries cannot even compete to Filipino English teachers? My friends, most of them are licensed teachers, and one of them told me this funny story. See, they (my friend and another colleague) went to apply for a private institution in the Philippines. They were applying together with (dig this?) white-skinned people, who, as labeled from this country, NATIVE SPEAKERS. I said people, not person, it's plural. I'm not telling you how many, but there were certainly more than three. Subject to teach: English.

If you ever applied to teach in a school in the Philippines, then you are aware that there are certain degrees of interview and tests before actually landing the job. Wouldn't you know it, the Native Speakers were denied the tenure, and my friends got the job. The idiots, only refused to do the work because; 1. Religion (Iglesia Ni Kristo) collided with the school (Catholic), and; 2. because the other idiot didn't want to stay. If you ever studied in the Philippines, or had younger sibling starting school, then you are also aware that private catholic schools are NOT cheap. Teachers' salaries on those places are well-deserved.

There's mo-oore....
The call centers. Do these people from US or anywhere else actually think that when you call for an inquiry or an account, or stock market, they're speaking with Native Speakers too? My brother worked in a call center, dealing with stock market. My dad, also worked in a call center before i went away, and my dad always had stories on how these idiots from these countries HAVE NO COMMON SENSE. Simple questions: Have you tried the on button?; or Did you check the batteries?; and these people, as my dad would say, just slap their foreheads and apologize, sometimes just hanging up because they're too embarrassed. DO THE MATH!

Getting lost in my dizzying thoughts: CALL CENTERS THAT ARE US-BASED ARE LOCATED IN THE PHILIPPINES, and not underground LA!!!

No, i am not giving up. My dad, he taught me that much: persevere.

25 Random Things About Me

2009-04-10T23:49:00.000+09:00

and this is the first time I'll dare to do it.

1. I only like wearing dark colors. If you see me on a pink shirt, it means i was paid to do so.

2. I hate all animals. I hate bugs, and i have a phobia with frogs. You want to murder me send me a box full of croaking slime-covered green frogs.

3. I'm a disowned daughter, and i don't know where my parents are living, although i am sure that somewhere they are trying to deny and cover it up, and never admit that i eloped.

4. I despise Caucasians. Even before i started my prejudice with Native speakers, i despised their race. I have met a few good guys, but i still don't like them in general.

5. If asked what my favorite food is, i usually answer junk food, because nobody would believe that i LOOVE vegetables and fish but not seafood. However, i do not eat onions.

6. After getting married, i had more haircuts than i remember.

7. I'm planning to have a tattoo... at my back. I plan it to be a dragon that will peek a little on my nape.

8. My husband's a jerk.. and i LOVE him for that. He's perfect, simply because I'm too much of a bitch to be handled by a wimp.

9. I'm hyper, but i now have something to keep my hands full. My kids are the little and super-hyped versions of me. I am POSITIVE that NO ONE in this world would be able to babysit them, not even their father.

10. I like word games.

11. I refuse to lie. If i were in trouble, and lying is the only way to get off the hook, I'd rather go to jail.

12. I'm an extremely jealous person, and i don't share the people i love. I even threatened my husband that if he touches another woman, the last thing that bitch will see is her blood squirting off her neck. And husband knows i am capable of doing so.

13. I only have three male friends left. My husband is also as extreme as i am. =P

14. I don't wear sneakers, even with two little maniacs running in the mall, i wear my 5-inch heels.

15. I can cook. I learned from my mother, but somehow, my husband doesn't like my cooking. My kids do, my mother-in-law does, some friends that i cooked for did, but not this man i share my life with.

16. I miss "balot". The only Filipino dish i am not intimate with the process.

17. I am a thinking Catholic. Don't ask me about religion, because i know (and learned!) stuff about it that can raise controversy. But i don't pray much. I have faith, but i prefer to stay quiet.

18. I want to learn how to drive, because i don't like public transportation. Four years in Korea, and i only rode the taxi three times, the bus 8 times, three of them on my own, and the train (not subway) once. Husband prefers to drive me anywhere.

19. I now secretly like the color green, but i wouldn't be caught dead wearing, nor sporting any outfit or accessory with it.

20. After my second baby, i only drink cold milk coffee. i tried drinking hot coffee, i ended up putting ice on it.

21. I got my glasses when i was 16, i became aware that my vision was bad when i was 13, and had my vision blurred since i was 8. Having glasses made me appreciate everything i see.

22. I only admired two women my whole life, and none of them is my mother.

23. I also despise only two people in my life, and i have been scheming on how to expose and humiliate them publicly.

24. i can't sleep without my furry square-shaped pillow.

25. I currently have no reason to come back to my motherland.

Ouch! Denied, yet again.

2009-04-10T00:48:00.000+09:00

How lame is it that i am now blogging to just relieve me of this exploding emotion? I was rejected. By a recruiting agency because the first reason was: i was not qualified to apply for an E2 visa. WTF?!?! In my application letter, i specified that i'm an f2 visa holder.

Unfortunately, there are qualifications for an E2 visa. Applicants are required to be native speakers. Hope you understand this procedure. I wish you success in your future endeavors.

So, as pathetic as it may sound, i sent a message again. I know it sounded a bit bitchy, but what can i do. It touched a nerve. It also looks pathetic now from my point of view, almost desperate. But in reality, i am. I want to work. I have always worked, and before marrying this man i now call husband, we agreed that he'd be my house husband. because i have the urge to work. Moving along...

Hi, Ms Becky. I think you missed. I'm already in Korea as an f2 visa holder. Does this mean i won't be able to place any job because as stated: Native Speakers? I am not a Native Speaker, rather an educated one, having English as my first language and i went to schools where the curriculum was strictly imposed in English. I also have been teaching the language in the Philippines to South Koreans, my students ranging from middle school kids to businessmen and professionals. I was a trainer to new teachers who will teach the language to South Koreans. I think i will be good for the job.
That said, thank you for your time.

Well, i really was all that. i trained teachers, men and women older than i am. My students were older than i was (19), and i really insulted about 85% of them. BECAUSE i was too young, and i was very good at what i'm doing, and i turned out to be one of the most challenging teachers.

You think you can find who i am among the group? those were my colleagues and friends.

And the recruiter responded with this:

Of course, you are able to find a job and work in Korea, but we only deal with a native speaker from US, UK, New Zealand,Ireland, Austrailia, Canada and South Africa.

So there. And here i am sulking, and digesting the fact that i can't get a job. Because they want three things that i cannot provide: white skin (native speakers), nationality (Filipino), and a degree. Without those three, what i have achieved is useless.

And Here Goes my Prejudice Again...

2009-04-01T15:34:00.000+09:00

Woot! Job market is open. The entire country is searching for ESL teachers... about 5,000 of them. Salary ranges from 2.2 mil to 3 mil Won. Plus airfare, housing, 50% insurance, allowance, severance pay, paid vacation, the works. That is one helluva job! working for an average of 30 hours a week, if you call babysitting in English to kids who can't even understand about three quarters of what you say, a JOB.

Oh, there's a catch. They're looking for Native Speakers (yet again). Those white-skinned people (because the blacks get discriminated) with a degree, from US, Canada, UK, New Zealand, Australia, and... could it be... IRELAND??? The people holding the WORST accent when it comes to speaking english? The people we can't understand A THING when they try and start up a conversation? Really? is there such a thing as an articulate Irish? And these employers would prefer them from Educated Speakers... sad reality for me.

So now i'm being biased.. maybe there is such a thing as an articulate Irish. I'll try and meet them as soon as they land here. Just to prove me wrong.

Yesterday i had lunch with the mother of my last student. Sort of "thank you" for enduring her kids for about four months. She told me that i can get a job, it's hiring season. The elementary schools are searching for highly competent teachers. "Jenny" was the name she mentioned, and the woman was teaching Elementary school kids. And since my Korean was not very fluent, i smiled politely, and told her that i am working on getting a job through the net. That's not a lie. I spent three weeks sitting in front of my computer trying to fish. Sadly, i can't even get close to bait. Because i'm not a Native Speaker. It stops when you click the "other" button when it asks of which country. S*N OF A B*TCH!!!

But i haven't stopped yet. I am still trying. Pointless, but there's no harm in doing it. My husband is 34 years old, and the Korean Government is not hiring anybody at their 30's. Since husband's school in the Philippines went bankrupt, we have to find ways onto earning money. After all, we have two kids.

No, i am not giving up. I am at my best when i am working, and my job for about 9 years (since i was 16) was in school, and marketing. I prefer teaching. It's more challenging to challenge brains of people who are desperate to learn this language, even if they're damn lazy.

Bitching out on Entertainment...

2009-03-17T22:58:00.000+09:00

And the Drama Queen has remembered she has something to bitch on about.

First thing's first... this momma's not very fond of the Korean Entertainment business. The men look like women, and the women mostly have masculine facial patterns. I have a favorite Korean Comedian, and i do not know his name. He's very famous, according to my husband. I also have a favorite Korean actress/ comedienne, and i also don't know her name. I watch them because they have interesting and effortless talents to entice viewers. But that's just how far i went. I don't need to know their names. I like them, that's all there is to it.

Again... not very fond of Korean Entertainment business. They have this cheesy boy bands trying to sound oh-so charming (blech!), flirting on their music videos which obviously was copied from some other foreign artists, and makes them look like little boys trying sooo hard. The same goes for their girl group bands trying to sing without ANY power, just rhythm on the beat, trying to dress cute to look innocent, or something. Some try to dress "sexy" and yet don't have curves... only the fact that they're women with very small boobs and wrong shaped ass, with flat stomachs (which is okay). And their dancing! OMGG!! Is it me, or these wanna-be dancers just look like sticks moving left and right flapping their thin arms and trying to stick their little asses to look like it's seductive or something? Hasn't anybody in this pathetic business even heard of talents without the "cutsie" stuff that most Korean find enchanting? Can anybody actually dance in this place??? The back-up dancers on TV, they're not cute, but they're not after fame so no biggie. They can flail all they want. The singers, boybands and girlbands, why are they dancing? They can't dance, even their choreography suck so bad, even a little boy (not girl) can imitate it. There isn't any grace coming out of the girls, the boys are simply too tall and gangly to dance. And yet, Korean fans are screaming for their performance. These "artists" simply has to stop because they have nothing to offer, or at least not to my standards because even i find Jeniffer Lopez very stiff when she dances.
But i would prefer J.Lo than to these girls singing "허니, 허니" something, or the Wondergirls (somebody shoot me!), or the other girl pop groups dancing (thrashing sticks).

Moving along... Being this intolerable, being cynical and sarcastic, i know it's my fault that i was able to listen and view these crappers. The music stuff, my husband and i have very different tastes when it comes to that. Do the math... why have i encountered these intolerable music...

But there's more. There's this dead starlet (not even a star heehee) who killed herself because she's an idiot. And no, i have no sympathies for imbeciles who kill themselves no matter how tough they claim their paths to be. Her name was Jang Ja-Yeon. I'd type it in Korean but that would be stupid because i can't. I just have to rave this one through. She killed herself because apparently, she can't handle the pressure she was being subjected through be her agency, making her serve drinks (so?) or have sex with some big shots. That's the point... it was not rape. It was an order given to her in which she (obviously) agreed, lest she wouldn't be doing it. So the thing is... why didn't she just quit? wouldn't it be easier to just quit? think about it, she already made some money out of it, so she can pay for a shrink to recover from her trauma (if you can all that trauma). She was just greedy for a publicity that she obviously cannot achieve (not anymore, that is), or she was just impatient to reach her super stardom. Gimme a break! The entertainment industry all over the world has the same pattern! And can you blame these old and fat producers for taking advantage? This business has a lot of beautiful people, desperate and willing to do ANYTHING to have a break. Human nature will dictate that if one's willing to give all, the receiving party will make sure to take all, or more. So i guess she's just an idiot. To make the police dig into her mess, it's pointless. But on her part, more publicity. She had killed herself, she turned even more famous. Such a trite idea.

There, that's better. =)

The Pain of Searching

2009-03-17T00:47:00.000+09:00

And let the drama queen lose control.

Yes, i am currently looking for a job. A job that can help pay the bills and give my kids the same luxury i was used to. Selfish of me to even think of it. But Korea and Philippines have a very different lifestyle comparatively. And the lifestyle that i was used to? It is a very extravagant lifestyle here in Korea. It was also an expensive living in the Philippines, but i was working, and my dad gave me money, and my mother is an amazing chef who introduces different kinds of cuisine all the time. Some of it i am not fond of, but i can assure you that no matter where you're from, you'll love what she'll serve.

I just revealed my country of origin, which now labels me as a non-native speaker. Although my first language was English (ask my mom if you ever find her), had my education on prestigious private schools and learned how to interact with people on public schools, i still cannot deny the fact that without a diploma, my abilities, or talent, are useless. Sure i have passion for teaching, and i love challenges. I love doing new things, and i love meeting people. I am charming and confident, but I'm no beauty. And these are the qualities i am proud of. But all those crap are useless because i am searching for jobs online.

The job market is searching for Native Speakers. And there goes my prejudice again. My chance of getting a job, in this business, is about 5 - 95%. 95 % to get denied. One: my skin color will speak for itself, but without a personal interview, i won't be able to prove myself. Two: No bachelor's degree. I am very articulate, and well-versed on so many aspects but not on Math and Rocket Science. Although i was one of the highest paid and less sought teachers (i was challengingly difficult because i was teaching slang, language evolution and idiomatic expressions) from the last school i worked, i can't prove it anymore because the idiot secretary of that school, who handles basically every administration need, has a feud with me, and casually married the Korean manager whom i was in great terms with. Her feud and mine started about 4 years ago, got hotter when i was carrying my second child, and is still scorching because... well. That's a very long story. if i ever have nothing to do, and i have too much time on my hands, i will share why we're this explosive. So before getting lost into this dizzying array of thoughts, I'll proceed with my third reason: Baggage. Two kids. I don't think Korea is ready for working mothers. I have not met any working mothers here, and my baggage is a toddler, and a 3-year- old kid. I don't know if that's a reason in this country, but to me, my baggage is my reason.

About two years ago, a professor in Chonnam University offered me a spot in an English Village, but we (husband and i) denied it. The place was about an hour away, and will require me to stay. My child, being an infant, i wasn't ready. And my husband pointed out a good reason: who'll watch our baby? Today, I'm thinking: DAMN, I SHOULD HAVE TAKEN THAT JOB!

And now, since i am not in Seoul, my chances of getting a job is soooo slim, unless i advertise myself on schools, and teach privately. But as another blogger kindly shared couple weeks ago, private teaching here in Korea is illegal. So now i am trying to find me a job every night.

Although i cannot find my resume in this computer. Maybe it's on the other computer. That the case, I'll find it tomorrow, and go to sleep. I still have morning tasks, you know. Taking care of my kids.

The Blogger

2009-02-03T23:38:00.000+09:00

What is a blog? Twenty years ago, there was no such word. Ten years ago, the program "weblog" was invented, and was recognized as a technical term in the computer and Internet world that in five years, like every other online engines, or networking sites, it became famous.

The word blog, if explored, meant an online journal. No matter how many definitions it can come up with, it's just that. A diary free for everybody to read. Wow, 30 years ago, a diary is something so discreet, even if the writer wrote some amazing play of words, no one could ever find out. I am not instigating that people cannot keep a secret anymore, but i have read some amazingly ridiculous entries, including some from famous people, and i must say... maybe writing with an old fashioned pen and a notebook with a lock has really phased out. Or maybe we leave those to teenagers... (?)

Moving along, the modern day (say, a year to three years) blogger. No matter how simple the definition of the word "blog" is, its use has evolved into something else. It's not just a diary anymore, it's a page with interesting things to read. From comics to comedians, from an observing eye to the rantings of a madman (like me), useful information, news with their own point of view like a newspaper editorial, advertisements, and some are insensible things to post just because the writers have readers.

The blogger. Who, or what are these bloggers? Are they writers, desperate for an outlet because they have too much thoughts and they need a place to release all of it? Or they have no job and hope that a producer might take notice of their greatness online and hire them?Are these people blogging for the sake of showing off that they have a lot going on? That they have activities to "share" for everyone to see? No offense, but I'd rather read a blog with about five hundred words, than read a blog with about 150 words saying some nonsense with regards to an actor getting a new piercing on his hooha, or some lousy entries with exciting photos. If i wanted exciting photos i would just stay on my homepage engine and explore the entire everything for the day.
Getting lost, are these bloggers blogging for the sake of their readers? That they just type and post entries even if it isn't really relevant? Are they people with a beautiful sense matched with an amazing play of words. And there are bloggers like me, who rant and rave over insensible things, or current issues. Some judgemental and prejudiced. I personally prefer the prejudiced, because at least they are biased for a reason, judgementals are just people with very bad opinions.

But a blog is just a diary. As insensible as most entries are, they are still mostly diaries, of people with too much time in their hands, or people with Internet connections, or people who has the need to be popular with readers and followers. Not all of them can be called writers... because a writer can have about 400 to 500 words easy. Bloggers are just there to show something. And most of them less than 200 words, with pictures! Just so they can show everybody they have an interesting and colorful weblog.

Whatever. I'll make it a bit simpler... i hate insensible blogs. i read a lot, and in a place where there is a lot to read, a personalized point of view is as refreshing as an orange juice after eating roast beef.

My Newly-Obtained Prejudice

2009-01-19T15:48:00.000+09:00

... started a couple months ago. I have been fair my whole life. And judging isn't something i do very well.

I am a teacher, not by title, but by choice. I have been teaching since my high school days. After moving from private school to a public school in the Philippines midway through high school, i found something i could do with all the information stuck on my head, because I don't just read school books, i read everything. And one thing about me is that i cannot forget easily. Once i read it, it's stuck. My teachers discovered it (in HS public school), honed it, and set me to work everyday. Everyday has a different subject, making me miss my own classes, in return, i give my own. I never told my parents because i never tell them anything. But i found it fun, so i just kept on doing it even if most students (from higher section than mine) thought of me as a teacher's pet, a braggart, or simply a nerd. I don't care because i don't see any point of doing so...

And my best subjects were English, Health Ed and Citizen Advancement Training (CAT) lectures.

So over the years, since CAT is not a subject outside school (unless considering military), i continued teaching (or tutoring) English. From Kindergarten kids to high school. Basically anyone who needed some extra help when it comes to school work. I'm there, and eventually, at age 19, i found a job. A job teaching English to Koreans full time. Don't get the wrong impression.. i went to college. Management Information System was my major, but i didn't finish it. Financial problems. One may ask why i didn't take up Education, and i can answer that: My dad told me not to. Teaching does not get good money for what it's really worth, and that there are too many teachers in the world, and they don't get good money for it. I may have passion for it, but i have to think of its career path before engaging through.
So i didn't.

Moving along....
The irony of that situation where my folks didn't want me to take up Education as a major, i found a teaching post in a then small school. It's the same place i met my student-turned-boyfriend-turned-boss/fiance-to-husband. There's a story behind it, but here's not the place.

Fast Forward to: I got married to my Korean husband.

There i was, after my first baby, teaching (again) exclusively to a University Laboratory, to Masteral students who cannot afford to take extra English classes because of the price, and because they don't have much time. The thing with that class is that they can afford to hire me, I'm Asian! therefore, my teaching rate is considerably lower, much MUCH lower than native speakers. It lasted a year.

While having my second baby, i was a private tutor, to my husband's Elementary school nephews. Two of them. I thought they were doing me a favor, keeping my hands full, and earning extra cash at the same time... until we (my family and I) were invited for dinner at their family restaurant. I saw where they established their "raw fish" resto. It was in a place, surrounded by English 학원s!!! Again, the issue: they cannot afford to pay (during those times) a "Native Speaker" or in a 학원 because their resto just started.

That's okay, i mean, the Native speakers had been around longer than me in my teaching career. But right now, as i am observing, and since i have a new gig, i have developed a new sense of resentment to these Native Speakers. You may ask, who are these Native Speakers?

Here in Korea? They're recognized as the ones with white skin, and those who came from, US, Canada, Australia, Britain, Africa, and so on.

I can do a live and let live. Why not... but right now, i am teaching again to a new set of students, and the main reason i am teaching them is the same thing: The parents of the kids cannot afford to send their kids to an English school with a native speaker. And since my rate is lower, and it's a good way of earning a bit, i took it. We do not have a particular book, and their abilities are different from each other, and their needs different from one another, so my lessons are personalized. Everyday, i try to find a material, a lesson, a new trick to make sure the kids are learning something. My main source is the Internet, then some books, then some resources my friends send me. Since the English language evolves, changes, and extinguish words and parts of its grammar on a yearly basis, learning it is a nonstop process.

And here's why i cannot just live and let live: the discrimination against my kind, without considering our abilities, and judging us through stereotype. We're not all factory workers, or farmer's wives, or fisherman's wives. I can overlook the fact that the rate for Native speakers are 10 times more than our rate. Their economy is always better, and that they needed the money more. But right now, it's just too much.

Comics & Cartoons:

* Native Speaker introduces the concept of comics and cartoons. 5 minutes.
* Native Speaker defines the difference between a comic and a cartoon. 5 minutes.
* Native Speaker performs Comic or Cartoon activity. 10 minutes.

See how twisted that is? And that is in a forum i joined a couple months back. They share good lesson plans, some interesting activities, although i NEVER used any of what was shared through. I mainly use my own compilations and own inventions. But what does this imply? That US, who can speak English, teach the language, cannot do the same exercise because as it stated: NATIVE SPEAKER, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH...?

I'm not yet done. Last year, the current Korean President released a statement that English teachers should only be Native Speakers, those who came from those countries i mentioned. I get that these Koreans wanted to learn good English, but how good can they HONESTLY say these Natives are? They're on Korean TV, making mistakes that are easy to overlook because their skin colors speak for themselves. I cannot see any qualified Asian teacher who, if they made the same mistake, won't get fired, or go unnoticed.

I read The Korea Herald, an English newspaper, and it has this section: The expat's corner... and it makes me wonder: How come the only contributors that i read about are mostly those labeled as "Native Speakers"? If i submit an article, or if another Asian submits an interesting article about Korea, or Korea living, or anything, will it pass through?

We shall see. My message for Koreans: We're better than you think. We have tricks up our sleeves on how to learn this language that you desperately need, without the complication of an accent.

My message for Native Speakers: You're not all that. You make mistakes worse than us. We're also not all that either, but we're trying to coexist together. Anyway, the market is big, and you don't have to discriminate us over and over again.

Oh, there's more. It's just getting really late, and i have an early day tomorrow.

The End of an Era

2008-09-11T16:35:00.001+09:00

For the longest time i had never liked my birthday. I like the day itself with the unluckiest number 13. I had my reason: IT’S A SCHOOLDAY. Quite embarrassing, actually, to have classmates badger you for a party, or for a “blow-out” or something. I don’t even get presents for it! I never liked presents too, simply because it feels like a bribery so you would be a good girl for the coming year. It sounds silly, but since i had been, REALLY thinking like that.

However, i also thought of celebrating my birthday, but ONLY a couple times, and those are the years that are significant. 18 is not significant so i didn’t really celebrate it. I chose: 24, 33, and 45. I don’t know if i would still alive after those years, we’ll never know, but those years are significant to me.

I’m turning 24 this Saturday! The year i have been waiting since i was 13. Way back then i only thought 24 is the MOST exciting year of being single. When i turned 15, i found out that it’s the year when i actually am considered an adult and beyond my parent’s control legally. When one turns 18 you only get adult privileges. At 24 you get to do all. *evil grin*… and at this day i want to celebrate it with a BANG!

Unfortunately, i am not able to celebrate it at all. See, at age 20, i ran away (or eloped, for a more appropriate term) because i was pregnant, and i got married. I made that decision, don’t ask me why, but i did. But still. i want to celebrate this year with a bang. Last year i thought of flying back to the Philippines so i can celebrate with a few friends, but then, i had my second baby, which eliminates all the possibilities of celebrating with a few friends EVER. But i never gave up, and i still want to celebrate it because it’s one of the few birthdays i HAVE been looking forward to. But there is just NO WAY on earth that my parents will fly here (we’re still not speaking), or to see my friends, or to simply have a get-together all for my own. So i told my manong, let’s just dine out that day, with my kids, and my in-laws.

So i started planning, i wanted to look fabulous that day! When is that day gonna be? A weekday… a weekend, doesn’t matter. I said i want to and that’s THAT…. I’ll lose a couple pounds so can fit my blue dress perfectly, i’m growing my hair so i can do it properly, i took care of my nails so it won’t be too long or too short, AND not chipped. So when is it going to be? I don’t like my birthdays but this one, even if i’m nervous (surprised?), should be just perfect. So when is it?

A month ago, i checked the calendar so i know what day my birthday will land on. I laughed, and i was sooo nervous i even called Jocelyn because i was freaked out. In fairness to God, to what i have been looking forward to for the longest time, i AM going to celebrate that day with a bang… together with the entire clan of my husband… and the entire country at that.

EVERYONE: my birthday landed on a national holiday, their THANKSGIVING DAY. Now there’s the bang i’m looking for (^__^)…

Grrr...

2008-09-03T15:18:00.000+09:00

dig this... MY original blog site had been cleaned. Just when i'm about to share a very cute and USEFUL word compilation!

SO, there. i sent a complaint... HOPEFULLY i'd get my old ORIGINAL blog. wish me luck!

expat; what's the catch?

2008-08-31T13:15:00.001+09:00

Main Entry:

¹ex·pa·tri·ate
Pronunciation:: \ek-ˈspā-trē-ˌāt\; -ˈspā-trē-ˌāt\

Function:: verb
Inflected Form(s):: ex·pa·tri·at·ed; ex·pa·tri·at·ing

Etymology:: Medieval Latin expatriatus, past participle of expatriare to leave one's own country, from Latin ex- + patria native country, from feminine of patrius of a father, from patr-, pater father
definiton:
to withdraw (oneself) from residence in or allegiance to one's native country

to leave one's native country to live elsewhere; also : to renounce allegiance to one's native country

Now this is interesting... i found this definition in Meriam-Webster online dictionary. I had been wondering about this word for so long. You see, i married a Korean man, and with that fact i needed to move to HIS country instead of residing on my own. Course there were some complications if i were to live on my own native land, but then again complications are everywhere. So after weighing about a dozen pros and cons, i have decided it's all for the best to live here in his mother land.

Then i encountered this newspaper, and it has a page entitled: The Expat's page. i already know what an expat is, what it means, its etymology, HOWEVER, if it were applicable to me or not was the question that caught me. My whole life i never imagined me to go somewhere else abroad, much less live far, far away. Now i find myself almost three years in Korea., AND married.

If we were to take the definition given by Webster, and thru it's latin derivation, then i am considered an expat. Here's the catch: i'm married. And here's another catch: i'm female. Is the title expat ONLY for single foreigners who had decided to live abroad? Or for male foreigners with native wives who had not yet decided to change their citizenships? Or those foreigners who had changed their citizenships? There's also this ridiculously ludicrous idea that ONLY white people, or those from the western hemisphere are considered expats!

Complicated, huh? but lemme get one thing straight: i'm a Filipino National, because i'm still a Filipino citizen living in Korea. We're still debating on whether i'll be changing nationalities or not. Meanwhile, i just gave you something to think about. =)

have a great day!

The Expat's Corner; my own review

2008-08-05T13:20:00.000+09:00

I just finished reading the latest article on The Korean Herald regarding the Expat's corner. For weeks i have been trying to get a hold of these bloggers, because for one, it's like reading an online editorial (which, i might say, is my second favorite page on newspapers), and two; i'd like to see if they really are as smart as they preach themselves to be.

This will take long, with two kids, and a house to manage, i would read their articles one at a time.

So maybe no one would read this, or maybe someone would, i don't care. But i will say this one more time; i may be young and reckless, but i'm not stupid. And i'm certainly not the one who usually backs down.